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I HATE THE EXPRESS LANE!!! (Language Within)

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  • I HATE THE EXPRESS LANE!!! (Language Within)

    Sorry for the caps. I'm ready to rip out my hair. I must have pissed someone off cause they keep exiling me to Express.
    I. Can. Not. Enforce. The. Item. Limit. PERIOD. I'm allowed to remind them but can't turn them away.
    Cut to yesterday...no less than three people bitched me out because of this. One guy yelled for 5 minutes, got the MOD & is "calling corporate to have them CLEAN HOUSE"(his words) in my store. Mind you, corporate does everything to make SC's happy, stopping just short of fellatio.
    He bitched at others in line. He bitched at me. Bitched at the CSM. YELLED at the "offending" customer. Stood in front of the store & bitched for 10 minutes. "I don't have time to wait behind people who can't read a sign!"'
    But you have time to bitch out at least three different people?
    I must confess, however, to a certain satisfaction at the "offending" customer who told him to shut the fuck up & get a life. Caribbean island women don't play.
    Last edited by JustShootMe; 11-06-2013, 03:27 PM. Reason: Clarity
    Here Mr Customer, let me pull that out of my arse for you!

  • #2
    Management here always puts the cashiers with the highest IPM on Express, like it's some kind of reward.

    We're not allowed to enforce the limit either. Sometimes we can get away with it depending on who's running the front end but generally (even if a customer hasn't put their stuff up yet but we can see the full cart) we're supposed to let them in. A common trick is for someone to put 2-3 items up, then when we ask for the store card that's when a spouse/kid/co-conspirator brings the cart from behind a candy rack, unloads the rest and gives the cashier a smirk that makes me want to ram the 45675 Lunchables down their throat.

    Seems everyone but manglement can see that allowing that behavior isn't "good customer service", it just pisses the good customers off (and forcing the express cashiers to stay late).
    "I am quite confident that I do exist."
    "Excuse me, I'm making perfect sense. You're just not keeping up." The Doctor

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    • #3
      "Manglement"?? I love it

      Keep in mind that, to a store/megacorp, a custy who ignores the rules and comes in every week/month with those overloaded carts is not a filthy stinking aliterate rule-breaker...they're a "f*ing awesome customer who makes us lots of money" -- So, no, they don't care that they're ticking off half a dozen other custys who may very well buy just as much as those guys on a regular basis on other trips, and just need a loaf of bread, a jug of wine (and thee) today. The person with the full cart has that full cart NOW, so it never occurs to them that they may easily run off half a dozen other full-cart shoppers by catering to the one.
      "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
      "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
      "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
      "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
      "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
      "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
      Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
      "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

      Comment


      • #4
        The logical thing to do would be to put high-IPM cashiers on a normal lane to handle large orders, and cashiers who can handle money rapidly on express lanes.

        Another reasonable tactic would be to make express lanes basket-only (that is, handheld basket), and make them narrow enough to prevent a trolley getting through. Then you aren't talking about an arbitrary number of items, but there's still a logical cutoff between bachelors shopping for one, and families with a huge amount of goods to buy at once. It would also be *much* easier to enforce.

        I keep mentioning this, but in Finland we simply don't have express lanes. The system seems to work well enough anyway.

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        • #5
          I was in line at a store once. I had like 10 over the limit and the cashier at the express lane said I can go through their line. I hate being that customer, but invited I will take the chance.

          Comment


          • #6
            My mother and I had a perfectly wonderful Girl's Day Out today. After several mall stores (new Coach purses! Yay!), some boutiques (new clothes for me since everything I own is too big), and a very nice lunch, we headed to Walmart to pick up a few boring, but essential stuff (laundry detergent, shampoo and such). What a way to ruin a perfectly lovely day.

            We got what we needed which totaled about 15 items. The place was packed, and the line at the express register wasn't terribly long. Unfortunately, what we didn't see was the family of morons who had THREE FULL CARTS full of stuff. What the fuck? Not only is that rude to everybody else, but the express lanes just aren't set up to process that much volume. After about 20 minutes one of the managers opened up another register and took us and a few other people behind us. We were still ahead of where we would have been, as the lines at the regular lanes were just that long, but still. This is one of the reasons we try to avoid Walmart if at all possible. Both of us were pretty mad at ourselves for not stopping at Target when we were up that direction.
            At the conclusion of an Irish wedding, the priest said "Everybody please hug the person who has made your life worth living. The bartender was nearly crushed to death.

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            • #7
              The stores in this area seem to have decided to do away with express lanes, even the wally world. Instead, there's a bank of self checks where the express lanes used to be. This strikes me as being a reasonable compromise. Then again, I'm actually a fan of the whole self check idea, and rarely have any issues using them.
              You're only delaying the inevitable, you run at your own expense. The repo man gets paid to chase you. ~Argabarga

              Comment


              • #8
                Chromatix - One or two stores around here have really short conveyor belts for the express lane; they're maybe the size of two hand-baskets. All it really accomplishes is allowing more room for people with overflowing baskets to queue up x.x That, and they have less space to cram their stuff into.
                "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
                "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
                "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
                "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
                "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
                "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
                Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
                "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

                Comment


                • #9
                  Quoth JustShootMe View Post
                  ... corporate does everything to make SC's happy, stopping just short of fellatio...
                  The peons are supposed to provide that service during the shower of gold from the customer.
                  Last edited by dalesys; 11-07-2013, 12:45 AM.
                  I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
                  Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
                  Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Quoth Chromatix View Post
                    The logical thing to do would be to put high-IPM cashiers on a normal lane to handle large orders, and cashiers who can handle money rapidly on express lanes.
                    I'm both of these, so I get to go on the regular lane that's closest to the main aisle all the time. Oh, joy. I always have the highest number of transactions in the store and the fastest speed score, or close to it. I'm often faster than the express lanes, so I think express lanes aren't as necessary as good cashiers. We aren't allowed to enforce the limit, either, which is further reason to eliminate the expresses.
                    "Is it hot in here to you? It's very warm, isn't it?"--Nero, probably

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      In my store, it doesn't help that often the designated express lane is also the handicapped-accessible lane. So you get a legitimately handicapped person (in most cases who can't stand well) behind some entitlement whore with a full cart.

                      I've always said that we should make the self-scans handbasket only; the belt area isn't large enough to handle a full cart (or even a half-cart if two of those items are value packs of TP).
                      "I am quite confident that I do exist."
                      "Excuse me, I'm making perfect sense. You're just not keeping up." The Doctor

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        When I was a chasier, we aren't allowed to enforce the limits either.....one time a lady was in line with a full cart (she hadn't gotten up to the register yet), and the person behind her looked at me and asked about her cart....I told him that unfortunately, I couldn't say anything about it, but that he didn't have any such restrictions. Next thing I know he leaned over, said something quietly, and she took off for a regular lane. I had a good laugh at that one.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Quoth Chromatix View Post
                          Another reasonable tactic would be to make express lanes basket-only (that is, handheld basket), and make them narrow enough to prevent a trolley getting through.
                          You would think that, but it doesn't work. My local supermarket is set up just like this, and they get people with carts with 3 baskets crammed inside like this somehow stops them from breaking the rule.

                          As a customer, whenever I see someone who hasn't already unloaded pull into the baskets lane I always point it out politely yet firmly; it's surprising how many times it works, perhaps less surprising how many times they claim they didn't realise... As if the fact there were no other carts in that line wasn't a hint, but was rather a divine sign to them that this line was intended for them in some special way
                          This was one of those times where my mouth says "have a nice day" but my brain says "go step on a Lego". - RegisterAce
                          I can't make something magically appear to fulfill all your hopes and dreams. Believe me, if I could I'd be the first person I'd help. - Trixie

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                          • #14
                            I've always wondered WTF is the point of having a 12 items or less lane if it's not at least somewhat enforced? As a customer I hate this! If I have my youngest son with me and I'm behind one of these people I encourage him to practice his counting...out loud...just loud enough for the person to hear. They usually turn and give me the cat butt face but hey, my 4yr old can count to 12, you should be able to too!

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              I gotta wonder if, one of these days, you might get someone saying that the limit doesn't apply because of a sign reading "X items or less," rather than "X items or fewer" The former doesn't actually make sense, and seems to be much more common.
                              Last edited by EricKei; 11-07-2013, 04:14 PM. Reason: fixed a stupid typo in a grammar-nazi post, on principle
                              "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
                              "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
                              "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
                              "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
                              "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
                              "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
                              Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
                              "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

                              Comment

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