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  • Tyler Perry's wacko shoppers

    a couple of doozies from WM.
    Only for Black people
    The players:

    MBW: Mad Black Woman
    CW: co-worker
    Me: me
    DM: dept. manger
    (thoughts dared not said)
    OC picks up a Tyler Perry movie, she is Hispanic (this is important) she buys the movie and she is completely cool.

    MBW: EXCUSE ME!!!!!
    Me: Yes?
    MBW: I wasn't talkin' to you whitey.
    Me: Oh, okay. ( Thank god. )
    MBW: (to CW) EXCUSE ME!!
    CW: Yes?
    MBW: Why you sellin' Tyler Perry movies to illegals? You can't sell 'em to anyone but Black people.
    CW: I'm sorry?
    MBW: You ain't sellin these movies to anyone but Black people.
    CW: I really can't refuse a sale based on race.
    MBW: Look, are you tryin' to betray our race?
    CW: No.
    MBW: Man, you ain't got no pride, in yo' race.
    CW: Would you like to speak to a manager?
    MBW: No. A manger would just be a whitey like that idiot over there.<refers to me>
    CW: I'm sorry but...
    MBW: Man, I will write to the attorney general about this.
    Cw: Okay.
    MBW: F-ck you. I'm leavin'.
    Me and CW (yipee!)
    MBW: You shouldn't be workin' together. Whitey will corrupt us.
    <exeunt MBW enter DM>
    DM: was she screaming at y'all?
    Me: Yeah, she was complaing that we sold a Tyler Perry movie to someone who wasn't black.
    DM: Oh Lord. That woman is a crackhead, she's always knocking on my door asking for money. I've got your backs in case she tries to complain to management.
    Me: Thank you.
    CW: Yeah, thanks. (re: MBW) What a nutjob
    DM: Look, at least you don't have to live near her.



    It's in the water, or something

    The players:
    Me: me
    SC: SC
    CW: Co-worker
    M: manager

    <I am working at the service desk>

    SC: Hi wanna return some items. (it's some towels and a sheet set, i process her return) and give her her cash back)
    Me: Okay..
    SC: I just want to tall you that i don't appreciate what your store did to my child.
    Me: I'm sorry would you like to talk to a manager?
    SC: Maybe a manager can undo the damage caused to my family by you and your store.
    M: Hi.
    SC: YOU MADE MY SON GAY!!!
    M: ma'am please calm sown.
    SC: CALM DOWN?? MY SON IS GAY THANKS TO YOU!!!!
    M: Ma'am, I ..
    SC: YOU HAVE GAY EMPLOYEES HERe, RIGHT?
    M: I am not at liberty to discuss personal details about my workers.
    SC: YOU WON'T!!! YOU TURNED MY SON GAY!!
    M: Ma'am please calm down.
    SC: ARE THESE PEOPLE F-GS TOO?? THEY TOUCHED MY MONEY GIVE ME NEW MONEY!!
    M: Ma'am please..
    SC: If you give me a $100 gift card i won't tell my friends about you employing gays and making people gay.
    M: I'm sorry ma'am, but I am not in an position to offer..
    SC: FINE I"M NEVER SHOPPING HERE AGAIN, AND I"LL MAKE SURE EVERYONE KNOWS OF YOUR PRACTICES!!!
    <exeunt SC>

  • #2
    Sounds like a fine a dandy day. I'd be ending it with a stiff drink.... AppleJacks?
    Sorry, my love cannot be bought. And if it could, you obviously don't have enough in your account to do so.

    ~Do not pass go, Do not collect $200. You lose, my friend, you lose~

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    • #3
      You get some special people.

      Comment


      • #4
        O.o I..just...*blue screen*

        *offers cookies*
        Last edited by RootedPhoenix; 11-16-2010, 02:21 PM. Reason: adding
        1129. I will refrain from casting Dimension Jump and Magnificent Mansion on every police box we pass.
        -----
        http://orchidcolors.livejournal.com (A blog about everything and nothing)

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        • #5
          pure curiousity, is dm black or does she not have a problem taking money from white people.
          Interviewer: What is your greatest weakness?
          Me: I expect competence from my coworkers.

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          • #6
            Quoth Grape The Cat View Post
            SC: If you give me a $100 gift card i won't tell my friends about you employing gays and making people gay.
            "If you get the hell out right now, I won't call the cops and have you charged with attempted extortion."

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            • #7
              hell, call security on them both and toss their asses out with a permaban.

              what, sheets are now passing teh gay? oh noes! well, i guess i'm gay then, it's the sheets, dontcha know?

              threatens and extorts...real quality there.
              look! it's ghengis khan!
              Sorry, but while I can do many things, extracting heads from anuses isn't one of them. (so sayeth the irv)

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              • #8
                Quoth Shalom View Post
                "If you get the hell out right now, I won't call the cops and have you charged with attempted extortion."
                I like it!

                hey Shalom,my wife's a RPh!
                "If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you.This is the principal difference between a man and a dog"

                Mark Twain

                Comment


                • #9
                  Quoth chainedbarista View Post
                  what, sheets are now passing teh gay? oh noes! well, i guess i'm gay then, it's the sheets, dontcha know?
                  I do have some pink sheets, I thought it was that red T-shirt hidden in the washing . Who would have guessed.

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                  • #10
                    #1: All I can say is what a racist bitch.

                    #2: Sounds like someone got their hands on a copy of Cosmo.
                    To right the countless wrongs of our days... We shine this light of true redemption, that this place may become as paradise...Oh, what a wonderful world such would be...

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                    • #11
                      Damn....you get some really really S-M-R-T shoppers there.
                      I don't get paid enough to kiss your a**! -Groezig 5/31/08
                      Another day...another million braincells lost...-Sarlon 6/16/08
                      Chivalry is not dead. It's just direly underappreciated. -Samaliel 9/15/09

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                      • #12
                        1. This is why I hate the race card in ANY form. Ugh.
                        2. Nutjob.

                        *hands over a smirnoff Apple*

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                        • #13
                          Oh crap. I've seen almost all of Tyler Perry's movies, and underneath this fake bake is a half Ginger kid.
                          You really need to see a neurologist. - Wagegoth

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                          • #14
                            what EXACTLY is in your water out there? crack?? seriously?
                            there's some people with issues that medication, therapy or a baseball bat just can't cure

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Quoth Grape The Cat View Post
                              ...SC: ARE THESE PEOPLE F-GS TOO?? THEY TOUCHED MY MONEY GIVE ME NEW MONEY!!
                              ...>
                              Is that what they mean by "Gay for pay"?
                              "All I've ever learned from love was how to shoot somebody who out-drew ya"

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