Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

The Customer Complaint Letter Game

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Dear Mr. Gassy,

    We would recommend that you take 3 capsules with big meals in the future. Also, we will not be paying your would-be salary.

    Sincerely,

    B. No, Manager


    Dear Car Dealership Owner,

    I bought a car from you a week ago and it stopped running a couple days ago. Since I was stuck in the middle of nowhere, I had to call a towtruck so I could get home. The towtruck driver told me that I ran out of gas. I want my car replaced with a car that will not run out of gas. I also want reimbursement for the call I had to make to the towtruck company. If you don't do these things, I will never do business with you again and tell everyone I know that you sell faulty cars.

    Sincerely,

    Mrs. Gascar
    My Fanfic Page
    My Fiction Page
    My Social Group
    My Pet Social Group
    My You Tube Channel

    Comment


    • Dear Mrs. Gascar,

      I'm terribly sorry that you had such a bad experience with one of our fine automobiles.

      Unfortunately, we won't be able to re-imburse you for your out of pocket expenses, however, if you would simply bring the car in within the next 3 days, we will let you do an even trade for this brand new car, that doesn't need gas, and is actually of greater value than the current car. We won't even penalize you for the depreciation of your current car.

      A word of caution, though; you may experience irritation of the feet, until substantial callouses have been built up.

      I sincerely hope you are pleased with this offer, and choose to accept it. We certainly don't want you to be mad, Gascar.

      Cordially,
      Y. Abbadabbadu





      Dear Computer Company,

      I recently walked into one of your retail stores, with cash in hand, to purchase 100 of your new U-Pads.

      Imagine my shock and horror, when I was informed I could not pay with cash! The clerk told me I either had to pay by check or credit card. He was quite polite at first, but mentioned something about wanting to make sure that buyers weren't reselling them. Well, I never!! To insinuate that I would do such a thing!

      You just don't know the struggle I went through to earn all of that money! You see, I run a home based business. Furthermore, since I receive most payments to my business on my PayBuddy account, I had to convert the needed funds into a check, then the check into cash.

      Not only was this cumbersome and time consuming, I had to pay transaction fees for each step of the conversion.

      I just thought it would be so much nicer for your store to deal with cash, instead of paying your bank or credit card company transaction fees on your end, to process either a check, or credit card transaction. I mean, who doesn't accept good, old American cash at a retail location?!?

      I demand that the 100 U-Pads I was intending to purchase be hand delivered to my home, along with the money, in cash, I would have paid for them, as well as re-imbursement of the transaction fees I incurred.

      Sincerely,
      Ima Niebayure
      Meow.........

      Comment


      • Dear Mr. Niebayure,

        The reason we don't accept cash is because our cash got stolen a while back and we don't have a safe place to keep it. If you send us your address, however, we will send you a $400 gift card and a free U-Pad as an apology for the inconvenience.

        Sincerely,

        Computer Company Owner


        Dear Technician,

        I've been putting rice into my computer since it keeps needing to be fed. Currently, my computer shut down and won't restart. I demand you send me a replacement right away. If you don't, I'll take my business elsewhere.

        Sincerely,

        Mrs. Rice
        My Fanfic Page
        My Fiction Page
        My Social Group
        My Pet Social Group
        My You Tube Channel

        Comment


        • Quoth purplecat41877 View Post


          Dear Technician,

          I've been putting rice into my computer since it keeps needing to be fed. Currently, my computer shut down and won't restart. I demand you send me a replacement right away. If you don't, I'll take my business elsewhere.

          Sincerely,

          Mrs. Rice
          I completely forgot about that one

          Dear Mrs. Rice,

          Computers have a very strict diet. That is, floppy disks, CDs and DVDs ONLY. If you feed it the wrong food, it will be poisoned. THerefore since you have poisoned your computer we will not help you today,

          Sincerely,

          Smart Tech.
          The best professors are mad scientists! -Zoom

          Now queen of USSR-Land...

          Comment


          • Since there was no customer letter written, I can't respond to it. However, I can write one.

            Dear Grocery Store Manager,

            I went behind the seafood counter to get shrimp since I wanted fresh shrimp and your employee had the nerve to call the police. I want this employee fired for being rude to me and causing me to get arrested or I will never shop at your store again.

            Sincerely,

            Mr. Shrimp
            My Fanfic Page
            My Fiction Page
            My Social Group
            My Pet Social Group
            My You Tube Channel

            Comment


            • Dear Mr. Shrimp,

              As much as it pains me to have you arrested I must insist that you follow the rules we have stated for your own safty.

              as such we are declining your request...good day.

              ***************

              Dear Big Box Company,

              I was in your store last week and saw some games I wanted. As there was no clerk available to sell them to me, I borrowed them from the shelves and completed my shopping. Imagine my HORROR when I was stopped at the exit and told that my purchases had to be paid for!

              Well of COURSE I paid for everything! I mean I even have the reciept! how DARE they accuse me of stealing!

              I demand a $500,000 gift card and private valet parking for life! or I shall NEVER shop there agian!

              Ms E.W
              It is by snark alone I set my mind in motion. It is by the juice of the coffee bean that thoughts acquire 'tude, the lips acquire mouthiness, the glares become a warning.

              Comment


              • Dear Ms E.W.

                The reason there wasnt enough staff on hand to wait on you when you were here last week is because of all the shoplifting, probably done by you in the past years. I am so glad that we finally caught you.

                After your complimentary stay in our State Jail for 2 years and the fine $150,000.00 our Loss Prevention Officer is pushing for, you will not be able to step foot in our store. So a Gift Card of any value is not needed.

                By the way, your photo has been distributed to all retail locations in a 10 mile radius of our store as a felony shoplifter.



                Dear Theres A Way Pharmacy,

                I was in your store last week and you so rudely had the freezer doors blocked. After taking the yellow caution tape off the door so I could open them to look in the freezer, since the doors have these stupid big green signs that say out of order on them. I found the Chicken Pot Pie I was looking for and brought it up to the cashier to ring me up.

                She told me she wouldnt sell it to me because the freezer was broke. The freezer isnt broke its cold. When I told her I wanted it, she said NO! I demanded to speak to the manager and he told me that the freezer was broke for a few days and got fixed yesterday. If its fixed why cant I buy the food? They wouldnt even give it to me for free. I demand an apology and the employee and manager fired.

                Sincerly,

                I know everything


                Note* This really happened the other day. A customer came in to our store and astonished all of us with his stupidity.
                Last edited by lbgoofy; 07-23-2010, 01:37 PM. Reason: clarify the note

                Comment


                • Dear Mr. I Know Everything:

                  We have reviewed your complaint and stand in awe of the quality of your intelligence. You are clearly the most deserving customer we have ever served. In recognition of this, we are sending you the Chicken Pot Pie you wished to purchase, free of charge. We suggest you let it ripen for a few more days, preferably in a sunny location, before consuming it. In hopes that you will now receive the results you deserve, I remain...

                  Manager of your There's a Way Pharmacy
                  P.S. We currently have a special on medications to treat gastrointestinal upset. We are taking the liberty of charging your credit card, which we have on file, with the cost of a pallet of these quality medications. Thanks again for your valued business.


                  Dear Store:

                  The other day, or it might have been the other week, I can't remember and I'm a very busy person so don't even ask, I was in your store at the mall, or possibly the one downtown. Anyway, I wanted to buy this cool widget you had advertised in your weekly flyer. It was purple and that's my favorite color! And it was ON SALE, and I had a coupon for something similar, so of course I wanted to use it.

                  I was very SHOCKED AND DISAPPOINTED when I could not find any widgets in your store. I asked one of your employees who was counting things on the shelves and he had the nerve to say he didn't work there. I demanded to speak to a manager and this upstart girl about half my age minced over and pretended to be the manager, and SHE said you don't even sell widgets, let alone purple ones, and she also said it wasn't in your flyer but in some other's store's flyer, which is ridiculous because it was on RED paper and there's red in your logo, so it must be yours, and then she said my coupon wasn't even for a widget and besides that it was expired! I was so UPSET I had to stamp my foot and say a naughty word, and she still didn't go and get me a purple widget out of your back room! How rude!!

                  I demand restitution!!

                  Ms. Precious Princess
                  When you start at zero, everything's progress.

                  Comment


                  • Dear Ms. Princess,

                    Sorry but we can't accept expired coupons of any kind. Also, if you want a purple widget, I'll see if I can place an order for some and contact you when they come in.

                    Sincerely,

                    Store Manager


                    Dear Bank Manager,

                    I went up to the teller to deposit my paycheck when my cell phone rang. While I was talking on my phone, the teller had the nerve to take other people instead of waiting for me to finish my important phone call. I want this teller fired for being rude to me and not making the others wait. I also want $4,000 deposited into my checking account with no charge to make up for the humiliation I suffered or I'll close my account and take my business elsewhere.

                    Sincerely,

                    C.L. Phone
                    My Fanfic Page
                    My Fiction Page
                    My Social Group
                    My Pet Social Group
                    My You Tube Channel

                    Comment


                    • Dear Ms. Phone,

                      Can we get that in a notarized letter please? And do let us know when you are planning on closing out your account, so we can order supplies for the celebration.

                      Sincerely,

                      R. Funk

                      Branch Manager
                      Wonderful Bank



                      Dear Fabric Store,

                      Even though I only used about 80% of the fabric that I bought for my project, your peon refused to refund any of my money. Most of the scraps were over 10 cm square too! I want the entire price of my project refunded, and someone to sew my next one as a good will gesture. Oh and it should go without saying that the stupid peon should be fired for daring to be rude to me.

                      Sincerely,

                      Princess Outofit

                      Comment


                      • Dear Princess Outofit,

                        Sorry but we can only accept returns on unused items and we don't do project sewings for anyone. Also, the employee who refused the return has been promoted to a shift lead.

                        Sincerely,

                        Fabric Store Manager


                        Dear Taco Restaurant Manager,

                        My son was wearing a jacket that he borrowed from a friend and your manager on duty had the nerve to dump fruit punch all over it. I demand that you fire this manager, replace the jacket, and pay the cleaning bill or I'll tell everyone I know to never eat at your restaurant again.

                        Sincerely,

                        Mrs. Fruitpunch
                        My Fanfic Page
                        My Fiction Page
                        My Social Group
                        My Pet Social Group
                        My You Tube Channel

                        Comment


                        • Dear Mrs. Fruitpunch,

                          After receiving your letter, we reviewed the security video from during the time of your visit.

                          They clearly show that no employees were nearby when the fruit punch was spilled on your son. What they actually show, is that your own baby kicked the drink over as you were changing its diaper on the table!

                          Thank goodness, I have implemented a thorough cleaning policy, and have very dependable employees that follow it very well. Fortunately, our video shows that the table you were at was thoroughly cleaned before the next customers sat down.

                          So, own up to your son's freinds' Mom, pay for the new jacket yourself, and hopefully your son will still have at least one friend.

                          Sincerely,
                          Taco Restaurant Manager


                          ===================


                          Dear MegaHugeMassiveMart Corporation,

                          I was recently at your Whineville location, doing my shopping, when a fire happened to break out. Your store staff was very rude to me, insisting that I evacuate the store! Now, this fire was way back along the back wall, and I had already been back there, and had worked my way towards the front, and would have needed maybe only 5 or 10 more minutes to complete my shopping and check out.

                          I mean, this store takes took up an entire city block it would take forever for the fire to reach the front! Plus, the Fire Department should have been able to put it out long before then! Isn't that what I pay my taxes for?!? You can bet I'll be writing the Fire Chief after I finish this letter!

                          I refused to be denied my right to shop in your store as I wished, so your manager had the nerve to have me arrested!

                          I demand that you deliver the items I was wanting to purchase to me free of charge (see attached list), include a gift card for $100,000.00, rebuild the store immediately, pay for all of my expenses incurred because of my arrest, write to the appropriate court to get my record expunged, and put me up in the poshest hotel in my city for one week with unlimited services, to make up for the one night I spent in jail.

                          (Oh, BTW, when did your company stop allowing smoking in your stores?)

                          Sincerely,
                          Kara LeSmoquer
                          Last edited by JustaCashier; 08-17-2010, 04:05 PM. Reason: Oh Dear!
                          Meow.........

                          Comment


                          • Quoth JustaCashier View Post
                            Dear MegaHugeMassiveMart Corporation,

                            I was recently at your Whineville location, doing my shopping, when a fire happened to break out. Your store staff was very rude to me, insisting that I evacuate the store! Now, this fire was way back along the back wall, and I had already been back there, and had worked my way towards the front, and would have needed maybe only 5 or 10 more minutes to complete my shopping and check out.

                            I mean, this store takes took up an entire city block it would take forever for the fire to reach the front! Plus, the Fire Department should have been able to put it out long before then! Isn't that what I pay my taxes for?!? You can bet I'll be writing the Fire Chief after I finish this letter!

                            I refused to be denied my right to shop in your store as I wished, so your manager had the nerve to have me arrested!

                            I demand that you deliver the items I was wanting to purchase to me free of charge (see attached list), include a gift card for $100,000.00, rebuild the store immediately, pay for all of my expenses incurred because of my arrest, write to the appropriate court to get my record expunged, and put me up in the poshest hotel in my city for one week with unlimited services, to make up for the one night I spent in jail.

                            (Oh, BTW, when did your company stop allowing smoking in your stores?)

                            Sincerely,
                            Kara LeSmoquer

                            Damn, you win!
                            When you start at zero, everything's progress.

                            Comment


                            • Dear Kara LeSmoquer,

                              Our store stopped allowing smoking indoors well before it became city law to outlaw smoking in all indoor establishments. Cigarette smoke tends to make our products unappealing and unusable to our guests, as well as, you know, starting fires.

                              As far as your other requests, they will be granted as soon as Satan dons his heavy parka and snow-shovels his way out of his home.

                              Sincerely,
                              Spineof Steele, CEO, MegaHugeMassiveMart Corporation

                              ---

                              Dear Store Manager,

                              My darling precious little angel children noticed your fun little display of a dozen different animatronic toys arranged near the cash registers. Naturally, they wanted to play, and after checking each one to see which song it played, they pressed all of the buttons at once, over and over, to hear them in a nice, loud, happy little concert.

                              Imagine their distress when the cashier so rudely said, and I quote, "Please stop that." How dare that cow make demands of my little darlings and interrupt their funtime! Naturally, this cannot stand. I must insist that you give us a $1000 gift card, free groceries for a year and have that nasty cashier drawn and quartered and pilloried in front of the store!

                              Sincerely,
                              Molly Coddled-Children
                              Last edited by XCashier; 08-28-2010, 02:20 AM.
                              I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
                              My LiveJournal
                              A page we can all agree with!

                              Comment


                              • Dear Mrs. Coddled-Children,

                                The reason my employee told your children to stop playing with the toys is because we need the batteries to last. Therefore, your requests are denied.

                                Sincerely,

                                Store Manager



                                Dear Supermarket Manager,

                                I came into your store to quickly purchase some items. Since I was in a rush to get home and cook dinner and the lines were long, I rushed out of the store and took the items with me without paying for them. I don't appreciate the police being called on me and having to spend the night in a holding cell. I demand you replace the items I took from your store since they got ruined and a $400 gift card to make up for being arrested or I will never shop at your store again.

                                Sincerely,

                                I. N. Rush
                                Last edited by purplecat41877; 09-04-2010, 11:11 AM.
                                My Fanfic Page
                                My Fiction Page
                                My Social Group
                                My Pet Social Group
                                My You Tube Channel

                                Comment

                                Working...
                                X