Pashmina Buttflap

Gravekeeper · #1 08-03-2007, 03:57 PM

Apparently I've been typo christened "Gracekeeper". -.-

( ...none of you were at the Lion's game last night where you? I tried to skirt around the crowd and got completely broadside ambushed by two girls. >< )

I Wonder Why...

SC: "Do you have any pashmina scarf's that are longer then 80 inches?"

No, because if it was longer then 80 inches, it would be pashmina rope. So unless you have a neck like a bull, you should be happy with 80. Or did you have another purpose in mind? Because I'm no expert on fabric but I can warn you up front that no matter how much you think it matches the interior of the vehicle, its not going to make a good jeep winch. You might impress all the other girls at the trailer park with your fancy city folk clothes but its not going to pull a mobile home out of a ditch.

Irony

Me: "Good evening, <company>. Can I help you?"
SC: "Not unless you're <my first name>! <click>"

…..well, actually….

I Can Corrupt Anything

Me: "Good evening, <company name>"
SC: "Where's Cam!?!"

I don't know. Probably somewhere going down on Waldo.

Morality Rate

( This is a paramedic calling to gain access to a building for a tenant. )

Me: "Ok, do you have a cell number or anything there?"
SC: "What are you talking about cell number?"
Me: "Is there any number I can page to the resident manager for you?
SC: "Well I don't know, is there? I'm calling you. This is the emergency number I'm talking too."
Me: "No, do *you* have a phone number? That's what I'm asking."
SC: "Yeah, yeah. For emergencies after hours it says to call the number I'm talking to you right now on."
Me: "No no, do *you* have a-"
SC: "Yeah, yeah, the number of the building of the person who's in there? No, no I don't have it no. I can likely get it for ya…"
Me: "No, do-"
SC: "Yeah!@"
Me: "Do *you* have a phone number that *we* can reach you at is what I'm asking."
SC: "Oh, yeah, sure. You don't have call display?"

….and this man is a paramedic? Jesus Caramel Walnut Cups ( With 33% less salt ). I'll just bleed to death thanks. It's probably faster and less painful.

Once Again, a Professional

( This is the same company's techs again, fyi )

Me: "Alright, I think I had two cases here for you. Just one sec, let me check. Yep, I have case for you."
SC: "Ok, what do you have?"
Me: "The first one is from-"
( I give him all the info )
Me: "The seco-"
SC: "Great, thanks <click>"

It seems you have ignored, either blissfully or willingly, a very key piece of information here. You may think yourself rather clever fleeing the scene like that. However, all that's going to happen now is I'm just going to keep paging you till you call back for the second one. So while clever, you didn't really think this cunning plan all the way through, did you? Didn't think so. Now grab a pen and a piece of paper, buttflap, I've got a message for you.

Argh!

SC: "Yeah, my car's stuck in the parkade!"

Oh for crying out loud. What's wrong with you people? Go out on a limb. Take a chance for once in your life and try reading. I know these weird "sign" things and their bizarre alien markings are a complete enigma too you. But with a little help, a little effort and maybe a few reruns of Sesame Street, you too could join the ranks of people in this city that have a friggan clue and read a sign for once. I know they're out there. Do you know how I know they're out there? Because they've already left the parkade.

Linguistic Skills

Me: "Ok, what's his phone number?"
SC: "xxx-xxx-xxx-xxxx"
Me: "…er…ok that was a few too many numbers. What's the number again?"
SC: "xxx-xxx-xxxx"
Me: "Ok, so xxx-xxx-xxxx?"
SC: "Correcto!"

Don't start. I should warn you the only thing I ever learned of Spanish was "oh mi dios cuáles son usted que hace a mi perro?" which if I remember right translates to something like "Oh my God, what are you doing to my dog?!". I've yet to have an occasion to apply it to real life.

Just, No.
( Tech Support no less. )

SC: "Then I got ta thinkin'…"

Stop right there. That road leads only to failure. You are trifling with power far beyond your comprehension. You are not yet ready for all that thinking above a "damp carpet stain" level entails. With great power comes great responsibility and you are not yet ready to attempt ordering at McDonalds with any method beyond pointing at the pictures and grunting.

Day Two: Complete

Shabo · #2 08-03-2007, 04:04 PM

Do you get calls every day for the parkade, or is this a new experience that people are having every day?

Becks · #3 08-03-2007, 04:06 PM

Quote:

Quoth Gravekeeper

( ...none of you were at the Lion's game last night where you? I tried to skirt around the crowd and got completely broadside ambushed by two girls. >< )

Not that anyone will believe me, but I was at work. Check out the times when I posted yesterday.

Quote:

Quoth Gravekeeper

Irony

Me: "Good evening, <company>. Can I help you?"
SC: "Not unless you're <my first name>! <click>"

…..well, actually….

No, you're known to the world by your extended title.

Quote:

Quoth Gravekeeper

SC: "Yeah, my car's stuck in the parkade!"

Any chance some of these people are taking vacations out of the infamous area code?

BookstoreEscapee · #4 08-03-2007, 04:26 PM

Quote:

Apparently I've been typo christened "Gracekeeper". -.-

I noticed that one

...I think it fits. You seem to have an unnatural ability to keep your patience...Grace under Fire, so to speak

Quote:

I Can Corrupt Anything

Me: "Good evening, <company name>"
SC: "Where's Cam!?!"

I don't know. Probably somewhere going down on Waldo.

Oh, dog, my childhood memories are now changed forever...

wagegoth · #5 08-03-2007, 06:29 PM

The parkade!

Once, on a Saturday, I got a call from a woman who had left her car in the underground parking garage, and came back to find it closed. There were numerous problems with this call:

1. We only lease space in the building; we don't own it or run the garage. (She must have called every business listed on the sign outside the building, and I was the only one that answered.)

2. The garage sign clearly stated that it closed at 1:00pm on Saturday. She called me at 3:00 pm.

3. The garage charges by the hour. There is a 5-story parking structure, 100-feet away, that is free on Saturdays.

4. There was a security guard in the lobby, but she didn't bother to knock, ring the bell, or shake the doors.

I contacted the emergency number for building management, explained the situation, and went on with my work.

She calls me again. I explain, again, that we don't own the building, I don't park in the garage so I don't have a pass that will open the gate (besides, if I did, she wouldn't be paying for her parking, and I could be implicated for theft), and all she can do is wait for building management.

Thankfully, that was the last time she called.

powerboy · #6 08-03-2007, 06:51 PM

I once got my vehicle stuck in a parking garage. It was not my fault. I had 2 job interviews on the same day, about 2 hours apart. I decided to just go ahead and park in it. When I came back from the second interview, there was a sign stating that because of a family emergency. That the garage was closed. I had another interview, that I had to get too within an hour. The sign stated that a guard will be back on, in about 3 hours later. Someone was already calling the emergency numbers on the side of the building. I truly hope that, the one guard, got in trouble for what he did.

FenigDurak · #7 08-03-2007, 07:07 PM

GK, how did you get a picture of my cat?

bigjimaz · #8 08-03-2007, 09:26 PM

Quote:

Me: "Good evening, <company name>"
SC: "Where's Cam!?!"

I don't know. Probably somewhere going down on Waldo.

I got the nickname 'Waldo' when I was in the second grade. (from a cartoon walrus because even back then I was 'supersized')

Now if only the Cam you speak of had a surname of Diaz and not a given name of James.

Andara Bledin · #9 08-04-2007, 12:18 AM

Quote:

Quoth Gravekeeper

Apparently I've been typo christened "Gracekeeper". -.-

I liked it the first time, and I still like it now.

^-.-^

Sliceanddice · #10 08-05-2007, 08:58 AM

Quote:

Quoth Gravekeeper

I Wonder Why...

SC: "Do you have any pashmina scarf's that are longer then 80 inches?"

No, because if it was longer then 80 inches, it would be pashmina rope. So unless you have a neck like a bull, you should be happy with 80. Or did you have another purpose in mind? Because I'm no expert on fabric but I can warn you up front that no matter how much you think it matches the interior of the vehicle, its not going to make a good jeep winch. You might impress all the other girls at the trailer park with your fancy city folk clothes but its not going to pull a mobile home out of a ditch.

i complete forgot about this until right now-
Maybe she did want to use it as a rope, im sure it would be lot nicer than their other ones, and probably leave alot less of a noticible mark than them as well. Hell a womans got be eventive some times!!
(Yes im talking about autoerotic especitation, maybe just erotic especitation... maybe she likes choking her 'dates')