My New Favorite Word

[Dilorenzo]

"No."

For three days I've been dealing with a particular customer, who, wouldn't you know it gosh-darn it, was running real low on material and needed to get an urgent order sent out. Urgently. Via air freight. Money is no object! I need it now. Also places a slightly less urgent order, to be sent via the slower method known as via the water.

Heh, okay. Here's the best air freight cost you can get for this, and here's the date we can send it. And can you please let us know when you're sending the money for it, because you no longer have terms. I don't say "that's what happens when you pay late," but, I like to think it was implied.

Oh, it's far too expensive. Cuts the order in half. Doesn't want it on a pallet. That'll be much cheaper, actually, and we can still do it safely enough for the amount ordered. Oh, and of course. He needs it earlier.

First issue gets dealt with pretty quick. Got a cheaper air freight cost, sent it off. Even though a lack of planning on his part really doesn't constitute an emergency on ours, I tried to get an earlier date. Just wasn't going to happen, and he seemed strangely okay with that. Also now wants to update the ocean order. Cool, we can do that. Freight will be a little more expensive, but not by too much. He's fine with that.

I ask again, when sending the orders over, when we can expect the money for both? After all, they'll be ready to go out in a few days, and if he can send it now, we can -

Ah, no, he noticed something before I finished the email with the updated prices. Suddenly he noticed the big "Cash in Advance" that was listed there, right above the prices. This isn't good enough.

They're a good customer, after all, and have ordered a lot of material from us and been loyal to our brand for years, and always paid on time. They need us to send the goods and trust they'll pay down the line. Since they have always had terms, he argues, they need to keep these terms. And if we could please increase the terms on the ocean order so they don't have to pay that as soon as the ocean order?

They're small fry, of course, almost too small for us to bother with, but they're one of the few from that area that order. They also, of course, were months late on each of their three last orders. Hence why I mentioned that they lost terms above.

So, go around, talk to the sales person, our accounting person, and, in what has been the highlight of my week... I got to type up a nice little email, which, in essence said.

"No."

Like I said, my new favorite word. Life be good.

Now I get to send them a longer email explaining exactly why I told them no. In great detail, about how late they were on the last few orders, and how much patience our accounting had had with them considering they ordered so rarely.

Celebratory drink tonight, I think.

[Crossbow]

Ain't it sweet when you can use that word? It just warms my heart to use it.

Of course, I like to use the phrase "bite me" as well, but I don't get to use that one anywhere near as often...

[Ghel]

Ooh, I love when I get to do that. A couple examples:

We had a customer who had a small balance savings account with us. She just kept enough in it to avoid fees. A few months ago, she needed the money for something, so she closed the account, thinking she could reopen it when she received her next social security check. I even warned her that we would have to treat her as a new customer and open a new account. So when she came back in, I pulled her credit report, which was atrocious, and we declined to open the account.

Another customer had a checking account with a debit card, and she was repeatedly overdrawn. She reported her debit card lost, we closed it, and she filled out an application for a new debit card. Between her credit rating and her frequent overdrafts, we declined to issue her a new debit card.

We have to say it nicely: "I'm sorry, but..." But the short answer is, "No."

[Dilorenzo]

Just finished typing out and sending the delicious follow up email. Delicious I tell you!

Wait, something better hurry up and go wrong. I know I won't be at this job for long, but I can't risk getting used to this!

[Gizmo]

and always paid on time

We had a customer like that. I just wanted to copy out a table like follows

Invoice ----Date ---- Due Date ---- Paid Date ---- Days Late

just to point it out to them.

[Jester]

Had some Spring Break guys stumble into my bar one afternoon, and they were going to get drinks to go, which is acceptable down here.

Well, the one guy tries ordering his drink, but he is clearly--how shall I put this politely?--smashed out of his fucking gourd.

ME: "Um, no. Sorry. I can't serve you."
HIM: "Is it because I'm too drunk already?"
ME: "Yeah, pretty much."
HIM: "Oh, okay."
And he actually left without causing a scene!

Very surprising, but kind of nice that he already knew what the score was. Very abnormal for my job!

[BeenThereDoneThat]

I have been trying to say no more often myself, even if I feel badly for the customer...if I know a supervisor is likely to turn down the request, or especially if I think the customer is wrong, I just say we can't do whatever it is they're asking. If they push, of course, I might call for assistance, but if they still say no I am happy to go back and tell the SC this