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Old 05-05-2012, 10:36 PM
angelicafire's Avatar
angelicafire angelicafire is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Chester, VA
Posts: 166

I just have to say that any post with the subject line "Escaping Dildos" just HAS to be clicked on. You didn't disappoint

Old 05-06-2012, 07:51 PM
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Duelist925 Duelist925 is offline
Scruffy Nerd Herder
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 64

Quoth bhskittykatt View Post
Today, I got do deal with a sexy police officer and some escaping dildos. And a bunch of other crap. Allow me to explain.
There is no way this won't be a good story.

This SC had been with us for about 10 days, and she looked and acted the very definition of "crack whore". And she was a headache.

She would pay day-by-day, but more often than not she would pay late. 1pm, 2pm, 3pm...yeah, checkout is at noon. But if you argued, she'd start crying about how she was "trying so hard" and that she had nowhere to go.
Oh....dear. This can only end well! Or possibly horribly.

She had gotten herself a room in the way back, as far from the office as you could get. We still noticed a lot of traffic going to and from her room, some of which was coming from other rooms (ugh...the refinery workers leave and the cockroaches move in...). One of her favorite "friends" is another guest who is one of the grossest, most disgusting men ever. He's old, unkempt, and has "meth mouth". He's gross.
Erg...I generally have no issue with the profession as a whole but....man thats nasty sounding. and of course, as far fromt he office as possible to hide her....activities.

*snip* One of the guys, who was allegedly her boyfriend (or the boyfriend of one of her other friends...I have trouble keeping track) kept inquiring about one of my housekeepers...I later found out that his brother had raped that housekeeper's daughter recently, and that he himself was a registered sex offender. Oh yes, this is a real class-act we have here. I don't know why they wanted to see my housekeeper...I'm hella sure she did not want to see him. He had this grin on his face when he was asking where my housekeeper was...ugh, I want to vomit. And then beat that grin off his face.
That is....beyond disgusting. Simply horrifying.

Probably wanted to intimidate her into not pressing charges or some shit....scum. Fucking scum.

A few nights ago, she even threw a nice, loud party at 4am. The night auditor got them to quiet down after the complaint, but 4am? Really?

She had her own furniture.
...Woooooow. Thats....special.

*Snip to the part that made me laugh)
At one point, I accidentally pumped a green bin on the desk and....it started buzzing and moving.

Me: "Uh oh."
HHK: "What the hell is that?!?"
Me: "It's...."
HHK: "....vibrator?"
Me: "Quick, I need gloves!"
HHK: "Watch out! It's going to go off the counter! It's trying to escape!"
Me: *runs out and down to a housekeeping cart. doesn't find gloves. runs back.*
Me: "[Housekeeper] is out of gloves!"
HHK: *nudging the vibrating bin away from the edge of the counter* "It's seriously trying to escape!"
ITS TRYING TO GET US! IT WANTS OUR BLOOD! (I about died of laughter. I am so sorry, but so funny. )

HHK also found a cooking spoon and a syringe. I told her "I'll bet you ten dollars..." as I lifted the mattress...and found a cooking spoon and a syringe of my own!
So, did you win the bet?

I did personally take out the large bags of trash in there, though, since I didn't know what was in there and didn't care to find out (and having been stuck by a needle poking through a trash sack myself, I did not want that happening to any of the housekeepers).
Bolded is relavant: PLEASE tell me it wasn't this womans trash?! And that you got yourself checked out following, regardless. I've heard WAY too many horror stories about needles....

So yeah, that was my day. Sexy police officers, and dildos. Don't tell my husband.
To be fair, "Sexy Police officers and Dildos" sounds like an awesome kind of day, rather than a "A crack/meth head got thrown out" kinda day.

It's a strange world. Let's keep it that way.-Elijah Snow

Old 05-06-2012, 09:16 PM
bhskittykatt's Avatar
bhskittykatt bhskittykatt is offline
Haunted Hotel Chick
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Home of rain-soaked coffee worshipers
Posts: 2,958

Quoth Duelist925 View Post
So, did you win the bet?
I never finished making the bet. Considering my luck, I should have, as then I wouldn't have found anything and lost. (I have lost so much money to Hubs this year making bets with him...)

Quoth Duelist925 View Post
PLEASE tell me it wasn't this womans trash?! And that you got yourself checked out following, regardless. I've heard WAY too many horror stories about needles....
No; when I got stuck, it was several years ago. Fortunately, it didn't break the skin and I was okay. Unfortunately, I've known others who haven't been so lucky from accidental needle sticks...a former coworker ended up with Hep C from one.
Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Old 05-07-2012, 04:52 PM
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taxguykarl taxguykarl is offline
Seasonal Tax Preparer
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Chicagoland (South suburbs)
Posts: 3,542

Quoth bhskittykatt View Post
I mean, if you are living a transient lifestyle as she apparently is, you should not have this much crap. You can't carry it all on foot, and she doesn't have a vehicle. If you're drifting from place to place, maybe you should pare down your belongings a bit. Just sayin'.
Agreed with that. I never bought furniture I couldn't lift and didn't buy more stuff than a cargo van could handle until I bought a house.
I'm trying to see things from your point of view, but I can't get my head that far up my keister!

Who is John Galt?
-Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged
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