Aside from my occasionally crippling fear of crowds, on Monday the wife and I decided to go see The Avengers. Just like going to see The Dark Knight on opening day, I knew there was going to be enough distractions to keep my from, well, freaking the hell out.
We weren't as early as we coulda been, but we weren't late either. Heard from the parking lot behind us, as we're walking towards the theater, "what kind of losers go see comic book movies," directed at us. That wasn't the suck though - just a friend I hadn't seen in months going to see the same movie
Anyway, we grab our tickets, head in, and the place is filling up fast. Only seats midway up the theater were seen by us, and taken. There's another couple who are sitting one seat away from us, but not actually up against the wall. So, wall, empty seat, filled, filled, empty, filled, filled. Not my problem - perhaps they have a crippling fear of walls as I do for crowds.
Place continues to fill up, but movie hasn't started yet. Also fine. People get seats where they can, movie starts, everything is perfect (except that I can't have popcorn - damn intestines).
Ten minutes in, an employee is walking up and down the aisles. Figure he's looking for anyone recording the movie. This is actually pretty standard practice for this place.
But nope, he comes over to us and asks if anyone is sitting in either of the seats that're empty in our row. Tell him I'm not sure, as we're not with the other couple. Can you ask them to move, he asks.
Now I'm starting to get annoyed. The movies on, jackass, and you are taking away from my precious Joss Whedon dialogue. I am missing things.
No, I say, I'm not with them. Well, says the employee (rather than just scooching past the wife and I as she and I have both crouched back in our seats to allow him to do so), there's a couple looking for somewhere to sit. I go back to looking at the screen and paying attention to the movie - someone showing up ten minutes late to a packed movie doesn't get to pick and choose where they sit, and I no longer care.
Employee goes ahead and asks the other couple to move. They do. Closer to us, proving my theory about crippling fear of walls.
Even this minor annoyance isn't a big deal. I've missed a minute of the movie, but whatever.
Employee comes back with the couple - who had not walked up and down the aisle on their own, by the way. They hadn't even looked for their own seats. Probably just instantly demanded that they be sat together.
Couple then proceeds to walk through the row, to get to the end.
much for moving, says the guy, going first. Making a point to smack his legs into mine, mind you. Lucky he didn't get my bad knee. Makes a point to do this to all four people on the way down. Girl comes in next. Oh, she's ever so grateful that we took our precious time to let their late asses in. Same deal. Bang, bang, bang, legs all the way down.
The space between rows isn't small in this place either. Plenty of room for you to get your skinny asses by without slamming into me. Nice and passive aggressive.
Anyway, settle back down, enjoy the hell out of the movie. Credits start, and I'm not moving. I know how these Marvel movies work.
Oh, what's this, people sitting at the end? You now want to get out? Well damn, sorry about this, but my knee seems to be bothering me now, something about it getting jolted around screws it up. I really can't go straightening it out til I'm ready to get up, because it's just going to cause me a lot of pain. Sit back down, enjoy the credits?
Oh, you're in a hurry? Shame that.
Rather, I wish that's how it ended. Instead I was in too good a mood from the movie and let them scarper out without incident. But it's not as good an ending this way