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Not the first time my sharp tongue nearly cut my own throat.

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  • Not the first time my sharp tongue nearly cut my own throat.

    So I was doing shit in the back away from the customers but people still came up to ask me about things since we’re so short staffed. More so then usual. I had long since stopped looking up at who was talking to focus on what I was doing so I could get back to the front end where I belong.

    Conversation went as follows.

    AM: so what’s your position here.
    Me: Missionary... how else is cooperate going to look you in the eye as they fuck you over and over again.

    Yeah, maybe not the best way to start the “we care about your opinion [not at all]” employee survey follow up with the area manager. Lucky for me it turns out we had gone through basic together (not that I remember him as he probably did the logical thing and kept his head down...me on the other hand was more memorable) and he had a sense of humour. Took him about half an hour to pull himself off the ground and he kept bursting into laughter every time he looked at me.

    That could have gone wrong in so many ways.
    Don’t worry about what I’m up to. Worry about why you are worried about what I’m up to.

  • #2
    That is too funny. Better be careful for next time though lol.

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    • #3
      Quoth Kittykat View Post
      That is too funny. Better be careful for next time though lol.
      Better then when I was working with an overnighted who didn’t do nights in the same way I don’t do mornings unless your looking for bodies to hit the ground. Threw the cash envelopes down on the desk stuffed with cash and my glib response was “I’m not that kinda girl, you need to take me out to dinner or at least booze me up first.”

      But then I also brought a drag queen to the Christmas party and hired a stripper for the next one as I was told that the drag queen was “too much” gesturing towards the whole ensemble. I took it to mean that she was wearing too much and hired someone who would wear much less next time. Needless to say since most of the people who showed up to Christmas party were female and I have good taste the party went ooooon despite management attempts to stop it... they eventually gave up and since there was no proof it was me...
      Don’t worry about what I’m up to. Worry about why you are worried about what I’m up to.

      Comment


      • #4
        Quoth AkaiKitsune View Post
        Better then when I was working with an overnighted who didn’t do nights in the same way I don’t do mornings unless your looking for bodies to hit the ground. Threw the cash envelopes down on the desk stuffed with cash and my glib response was “I’m not that kinda girl, you need to take me out to dinner or at least booze me up first.”

        But then I also brought a drag queen to the Christmas party and hired a stripper for the next one as I was told that the drag queen was “too much” gesturing towards the whole ensemble. I took it to mean that she was wearing too much and hired someone who would wear much less next time. Needless to say since most of the people who showed up to Christmas party were female and I have good taste the party went ooooon despite management attempts to stop it... they eventually gave up and since there was no proof it was me...
        ROFLMAO!!!!

        Comment


        • #5
          In my defence (as if I had one) “If the orders are unclear and the subordinate fails to obey, it is the commander’s fault. If the orders are clear and the subordinate does not obey then it is the subordinate’s fault”. It’s not my fault I may have conveniently misinterpreted my instructions. Maybe this year I’ll get male and female strippers just so the balding guys in upper management can enjoy the party too. Unless of course anyone has better ideas?
          Last edited by AkaiKitsune; 09-05-2020, 07:14 AM. Reason: I can’t spell :(
          Don’t worry about what I’m up to. Worry about why you are worried about what I’m up to.

          Comment


          • #6
            Quoth AkaiKitsune View Post
            ... Maybe this year I’ll get male and female strippers just so the balding guys in upper management can enjoy the party too. Unless of course anyone has better ideas?
            The only idea I can think of is for all of us here to get invitations to that party.
            "I don't have to be petty. The Universe does that for me."

            Comment


            • #7
              Quoth AkaiKitsune View Post
              Conversation went as follows.

              AM: so what’s your position here.
              Me: Missionary... how else is cooperate going to look you in the eye as they fuck you over and over again.
              At the Pizza place I worked at, the canned employee response became 'Bent over with our hands around our ankles'.
              Just sliding down the razor blade of life.

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