Just like the title says.
The not so MILF
So I'm tearing tickets when these two women (bout 30-40 roughly) come through.
One of them leans in kinda close and goes
W: Are you single
Me: No, I'm actually arranged to be married "wtf:
Seriously. Not only was this woman soooo not my type, but you also have to figure. I was in diapers when she was in highschool.
Banging my girl
It's winding down at night while I'm sweeping around the lobby. I pass by these kids and our exchange goes like this.
Me: Want's to go home.
K: Hey man, what's up.
At this point I'm not going to bullshit him
Me: I'm tired and i want to go home.
K: You got a girlfriend?
Me: What does that have to do with anything?
K: You gonna go home and bang her?
That little pissant. Who the hell does he think he is asking a total stranger that. I mean, i don't have a girlfriend. But still.
Me: *angry tone* I don't think that's any of your business.
And i walked away.
I am not a bank you f-ing moocher
I'm walking around when I pass this preteen girl.
Girl: Can I have a dollar.
Yeah sure, okay. How abou tin exchange for your immortal soul?
Me: *quickly* No
Are you f-ing kidding me?
Me: Because I am not the first national bank of (insert theater name here).
Yes I said that.
The lights are on, I'm cleaning, get out
It's simple, if you see us in a theatre, cleaning, with the lights on, it is NOT an open invitaion to come in and sit down. Have some f-ing patience.
Yet people still do it time after time after time.
People: Can we sit down yet?
What the hell do you think. Does this picture scream "Now seating" to you? Do you want to sit in other people's garbage?
There's a little invention called a clock
Guy: What time does my movie start
Look at your ticket numb-nuts
Guy: What time is it now?
(insert time that my watch says)
With this much lack of commen sense, I'm surprised our entire species hasn't starved to death.