I'm a Terrible Sales Person

Dips · #1 03-14-2008, 09:06 PM

Caller: I have a problem with [product].

Me: Can you give me your license or serial number?

Caller: I'm using the demo version.

Me: OK. Can you describe what is happening?

Caller: [describes two issues]

Me: Both of those issues are actually due to limitations we placed in the demo version.

Caller: How am I supposed to evaluate whether I want to purchase the paid version if you put limits in the demo version? [I get this one a lot, mostly from people who are trying to use the demo for actual production instead of evaluation.]

Me: I can assure you that those limitiations do not exist in the licensed version.

Caller: So I'm just supposed to take your word for it?

Me: [How the hell am I supposed to answer that?] The licensed version does not have those limitations. We also have free tech support if you do run into a problem.

Caller: I don't know if I want to buy it if I can't trust the demo.

Me: [Trust the demo? WTF?] The purpose of the demo is to give potential customers an idea how the program works and test whether it is compatible with their systems and other software. If you want to produce [output] you need the licensed version.

Caller: That just doesn't sound right.

Me: [Huh?] We also have a 90-day gaurantee on [product]. If you find that it doesn't work as you expected, you can remove it from your computer and return it to us for a refund.

Caller: I don't know if I want it.

Me: No problem. Take you time, think it over and give us a call if you decide you would like to buy a license or have any more questions. Anyone here can help you or you can ask for me. My name is Dips.

Caller: Dips, you aren't much of a sales person.

Me: [Uh huh]Thank you for calling and have a great weekend.

I have to laugh at that parting shot. My guess is that we have different definitions of "good sales person."

Because I'm pretty darn sure that she was hoping for a free license to "test" and I'm also pretty darn sure that giving her what she wanted would not have resulted in a sale.

the_std · #2 03-14-2008, 09:30 PM

Shame, shame, shame on you! You didn't give it to her for free! That qualifies you for the Worst Person On Earth Award, care of Self-Centered Entitlement Whores, Inc.

I loved how you didn't even react to her flimsy "parting shot". Fantastic.

Sheldonrs · #3 03-14-2008, 09:43 PM

I used to get that a lot when i worked for a software company. The software was for screenwriters. You could do everything with the demo except export the file or print more than 3 pages without a watermark.
I was amazed at how many people would complain that they could not tell if they liked the software unless they could do everything.
A few times I had to ask them, "so, if you owned a restaurant and i came in, you would give me everything on the menu so i could be sure I liked it before paying for it the next time"?.

Nekojin · #4 03-14-2008, 11:14 PM

Quote:

Quoth the_std

care of Self-Centered Entitlement Whores, Inc.

No, no... it's Self-Centered Ranting Entitlement Whores, Unlimited. AKA, SCREW-U.

powerboy · #5 03-14-2008, 11:32 PM

Quote:

Quoth Nekojin

No, no... it's Self-Centered Ranting Entitlement Whores, Unlimited. AKA, SCREW-U.

I like that one

marasbaras · #6 03-15-2008, 03:07 AM

Wow, total EW!

StevieJD · #7 03-15-2008, 03:20 AM

Quote:

Quoth Nekojin

No, no... it's Self-Centered Ranting Entitlement Whores, Unlimited. AKA, SCREW-U.

Well done.

Add that to your signature.

marasbaras · #8 03-15-2008, 03:36 AM

Quote:

Quoth StevieJD

Well done.

Add that to your signature.

Definitely well done ... take credit!

Rapscallion · #9 03-15-2008, 05:54 AM

Quote:

Quoth Dips

Caller: Dips, you aren't much of a sales person.

"And you're not much of a customer."

Rapscallion

draftermatt · #10 03-15-2008, 11:34 AM

I got that once.

Me: I'm sorry but the people who pay the best get the dates they want
Rich: Oh so that's how you operate...
Me: Rich, do you work for free? Then why do expect us to?