tried the fuse?
Have you tried plugging it in?
So, I’m sitting at my desk in tech today, and we don’t really have much work to do, which is not unusual for a Friday. Even “while you wait” jobs are slow on days like that.
The phone on my desk starts to ring. It’s not my phone, it’s just one of the two non-portable phones we have in the department has been placed on my desk. Our phones are pretty clever. If it’s an internal call, it will come up on the display, for example “Tech 202 calling” if it’s a call from the call centre it says “Branch call handling” and if it’s a call on the direct line it says “Ex Directory line” if it’s ex directory, we don’t answer it since customers should not have that number, staff, field techs and staff relatives all have the number for “The hotline” (a plane phone plugged into the network with its own direct number)
The display reads “Branch call handling” so I pick it up, as they are usually calls of customers enquiring about booked jobs
BCH: Branch Call handleing
SC: Stupid customer
Me: Tech toying with the idea of shooting himself during this call
Me: Hello. Tech.
BCH: Hiya. This is cock breath calling from branch call. I’ve got a customer, Mr. Fuckwitt on the phone who has a technical question with a computer that he purchased a year ago
Me: The you shouldn’t be calling here. You should put him through to in home technical support
BCH: So you’re not a tech person?
Me: I am, yes, but I am in the tech centre in a store. You should be putting him through to home tech support
BCH: Ok, hold on one second
BCH: Hi. Mr. Fuckwitt? I’m going to put you through to the branch now
Me: Don’t You-
Me: *going to kill someone now* Hi. How can I help?
SC: my computer won’t power up.
Me: you really should be calling in home tech support. I can give you some basics though. Whats the trouble with it exactly?
SC: there’s just no display when I press the power button
Me: do any lights come on?
Me: When you press the button, do you hear the fans rev loudly for a second, then spin down to a normal speed?
SC: No, it’s just dead
Me: Right, I know this sounds silly but are you sure it’s plugged in? Not been accidentally unplugged?
SC: I’m an electrician, mate. Give me a bit more credit than that
Me: fair enough. Have you checked the fuse in the plug?
(all plugs in the UK are fitted with a fuse ranging between 1am and 13. Computers are usually 5)
SC: the what now?
Me: The fuse. You know, little piece of thin wire encased in ceramic, sits in the plug and protects you from the computer bursting into flames?
SC: I’ve been an electrician for 20 years. There are no fuses in plugs
Me: yes, there is.
SC: Young man, how dare you insult my intelligence
Me: Listen, I grew up around an electronics engineer and an electrician. I happen to know what I am talking about. Go to B&Q, buy yourself a pack of 5amps and change the fuse in the plug.
SC: THERE IS NO FUSE IN THE PLUG!
Me: un-plug it, look on the under-side of the plug
SC: Ok, done that
Me: now, you see that removable panel that says “Fuse access” ?
Me: *Grinning now*pull it open. Now do you see the little white thing that says “5Amps. Conforms to british standard BSXXXX?”
SC: You’ve made your point. Where did you say to get them from?
Me: B&Q is as gooder place as any. They are on the same retail park we are
SC: *Hangs up*
Ade: The fuck was that about?
Me: some electrician didn’t know there are fuses in plugs
anyone want to translate the ade-ese to english? lol