Crazy old bat saves invisible children

[Lace Neil Singer]

I was in the local park, minding my own business sitting on a bench having a smoke and reading my book, when this woman came up to me.

"You're giving the children cancer!" she screeched.

There were no children around me at all; I was right on the other side of the park from the children's playground, and I was careful enough to sit away from any kids. I pointed this out to her, and she glared at me before walking away to bother someone else.