Soon it to be ex-husband just pocket dialed me

[I am the Lizard Queen!!]

..... while he was on a date no less!!!!!

So I am having a crazy day at work today but working with my ex to get my name off of our cable bill as he wants to make some changes. This is becoming a huge pain in the butt with me playing phone tag with the customer service agent who keeps giving me the wrong number to fax my written permission. So my ex who is taking a leisurely vacation day calls to see what's going on and I call him back to leave him a message asking him to get the right fax number as I am way too busy at work to keep faxing to the wrong number.
In between patients I check my voicemail and there is a 10 minute message from him on a date!!! And the best part is that he's telling her about the cable situation and then he starts IMITATING ME.
Him : "lizard queen was like blah blah blah can't get the right number...." and he's doing this totally ridiculous voice that makes me sound like a moron!!!!!
Because I know he's physically incapable of being separated from his BlackBerry I immediately start texting him and telling him what a douche bag he is. I also tell him that this is the most boring date I've ever had the misfortune to even be around.
Seriously? I'm trying to help you out and this is what I get???
Douche.

[auntiem]

If it makes you feel better - if that girl has any self respect at all - he isn't getting a second date let alone "gettin' any". I'm frankly shocked that within those 10 min he didn't say "hey, wait where are you going?!" 'Cause I would have up and left if I was on a date and someone started mocking their ex like that and considered myself grateful that he showed the kind of jerk he is early on. (truth be told, I may have waited for my food to get boxed up if it was a really nice restaurant - but then, yea out. the. door.)

[I am the Lizard Queen!!]

Well, the way she was giggle-snorting along with him she doesn't sound terribly bright. Although honestly, this date sounded painful. They were comparing chiropractors! What the hell ?
He texted me back and tried to pass it all off as a joke; he said he was implying the service rep was being dim, not me!!!! Heavens, he would never do THAT!!! He was only joking!!!! Let's all bask in his sincerity shall we??
Phtbbbbt. Suck it. Ass.

[Zellie Crescent]

This just might be my experience making me think about this but my last ex used to "pocket dail" the girl he was/just did break up with, to be able to say a bunch of horrible shit on a date so if he was confronted he could just say he was just joking and he didn't know his phone was on. He pulled that shit on not only me but 4 others "V" getting the worst one, with her he was talking about having sex with his date going into details and telling her that V was like a dead fish that didn't like sex. He also said that whenever he wanted to have sex she said no and that's why he left her, because he liked to have sex a lot. When V told me I was pissed, because I knew that that's all he wanted in a "relationship" a living blow up doll that he could have some fun with whenever he wanted. That was the main reason I refused to move in with him, I don't know your exact situation but IMO he's a total jackass.

[dalesys]

Dear ex.

Your asshole called. It's the best part of you.

[Mytical]

Dear ex.

Your asshole called. It's the best part of you.

This may be one of the funniest things I've ever read.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Dear ex.

Your asshole called. It's the best part of you.

Thanks . . . I needed a good laugh, Dalesys.

I can say the same thing about several of my ex's . . . Hell, all of 'em come to think of it.

[PepperElf]

Nothing like calling him out on something that you have proof of him doing and watching him squirm, trying to act like he didn't really do it.

[Zaiida]

Dear ex.

Your asshole called. It's the best part of you.

That was awesomeness at it's finest

[I am the Lizard Queen!!]

Ha that's perfect!!! I should have posted here before I texted him!! The best thing I came up with was " hmmmm re-evaluating not asking for spousal support, dipshit"