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I guess I'll jujst kill myself then

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  • I guess I'll jujst kill myself then

    I work in a UK mobile phone shop based inside a supermarket. Earlier today a customer came into the shop saying that she had bought a (really cheap) phone from one of my colleagues on Tuesday and that when she had opened it and turned it on the screen looked funny (all messed up, I saw it later).

    me: OK do you have your receipt?

    hag; No, he never gave me a receipt (Doubtful)

    me; OK then, you will need to speak to CSD to try and get a copy of that before I can either return or exchange this

    She leaves

    Comes back about 20 mins later with a copy of her receipt and I finally get to see the phone, which has a REALLY obvious impact mark on the screen.

    me; Unfortunately, due to the damage on your phone, I will not be able to do anything for you today

    hag; It's not damaged, it's a fault

    me: (Pointing to the impact mark) This is where something has hit and cracked the screen, so as this is damaged and not faulty, I cannot do anything

    hag; But this phone is my life, I have people I need to keep in contact with, etc, etc

    See above going round in circles for about 10 mins

    me; As I have explained, as there is damage to the phone I will not be refunding or exchanging anything today

    hag: Get me a manager

    me: OK, rang the stores duty manager (who luckily, before he left, used to be my manager in the phoneshop) explained what had happened, and he said exactly the same things I had

    another5 mins of going round in circles

    mgr: As I have said many times, as it is damaged, we will not be exchanging anything today, however, if you would like to buy another phone, the guys here will be happy to help you

    hag: OK then, I'm gonna contact Trading Standards

    mgr: That entirely up to you, but as there isn't actually a fault on the phone, they are very unlikely to do anything

    hag; Fine, I'll go home, commit suicide, and address my suicide note to Trading Standards so you will all get in trouble

    Eventually, mgr just got her out of the store, apparently she tries this sort of thing all the time

  • #2
    Yet another promise the customer will not keep.
    "I don't have to be petty. The Universe does that for me."

    Comment


    • #3
      She wins two awards: 1) Dumbbunny of the Day, and 2) Britain's Worst Dramatic Actress.

      On the other hand, will you forgive me if I suggest that you can state your store has killer service?
      Customers should always be served . . . to the nearest great white.

      Comment


      • #4
        Quoth SimonF12009 View Post
        hag; Fine, I'll go home, commit suicide, and address my suicide note to Trading Standards so you will all get in trouble
        "Down the road, not across the street, K?"
        Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

        "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

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        • #5
          Quoth SimonF12009 View Post

          hag; Fine, I'll go home, commit suicide, and address my suicide note to Trading Standards so you will all get in trouble
          *bored voice*
          "That's fine, ma'am. Have a nice day."

          This is unquestionably a last stab from a Drama Queen, so there is NO way I would take this as a serious suicide threat and respond appropriately.
          Customer service: More efficient than a Dementor's kiss
          ~ Mr Hero

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          • #6
            Week old phone

            She bought in just a week, yet says "hag; But this phone is my life, I have people I need to keep in contact with, etc, etc".

            If she bought that soon ago, it should be no problem telling the few people who would ever want to talk to her a new phone number AGAIN!

            Comment


            • #7
              "...Fine, I'll go home, commit suicide,..."

              There's an app for that. :-)
              "All I've ever learned from love was how to shoot somebody who out-drew ya"

              Comment


              • #8
                "I'll just go kill myself" ...you know, it might be a better idea to take them WAY too seriously. Going entirely by the rules (varies by area, of course) a nice 72-hour psychiatric hold could be on order here.
                Yes, it's more work than this inDUHvidual deserves, but I guarantee she won't try THAT one on you again.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Quoth Buzzard View Post
                  "I'll just go kill myself" ...you know, it might be a better idea to take them WAY too seriously. Going entirely by the rules (varies by area, of course) a nice 72-hour psychiatric hold could be on order here.
                  Yes, it's more work than this inDUHvidual deserves, but I guarantee she won't try THAT one on you again.
                  Malicious compliance. Works every time.
                  "I don't have to be petty. The Universe does that for me."

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    If you had every customer who seemed to be not quite sane in body and mind sectioned, the psychiatric hospitals would be overflowing with them....
                    and we would all be saying....
                    Last edited by Kit-Ginevra; 10-29-2019, 12:16 AM.
                    The Copyright Monster has made me tell you that my avatar is courtesy of the wonderful Alice XZ.And you don't want to annoy the Copyright Monster.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Quoth Buzzard View Post
                      "I'll just go kill myself" ...you know, it might be a better idea to take them WAY too seriously. Going entirely by the rules (varies by area, of course) a nice 72-hour psychiatric hold could be on order here.
                      Yes, it's more work than this inDUHvidual deserves, but I guarantee she won't try THAT one on you again.
                      I was thinking the same thing. "I'm sorry ma'am, not only am I morally obligated, but I am legally obligated to take that statement seriously, I will contact the authorities and ensure you get the protection you require".

                      Seriously, I think this is what you should have done. Let's say she actually did off herself, I guarantee her family would be suing the store for not taking her seriously.
                      D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.
                      Quoth = Crossbow "EvilHomer, Irv, Gravekeeper, and Seraph: the Four Horsemen of the Dumbpocalypse."

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Apparently, she came into the store today at 8am, to buy a new phone. The phoneshop doesn't open until 9, lol. And I was told by the security guy that was in, all the staff that work on CSD started laughing when she couldn't see or hear them

                        [EDIT] I was told by the colleague that sold her the phone that he set it up so her saying it was broken when she opened it is BS

                        Also, thinking of what Irving said, I mentioned it to another mgr, and he said 'As long as she does it outside the door, that's fine'

                        [EDIT] Mentioned wrong poster

                        Quoth Kit-Ginevra View Post
                        If you had every customer who seemed to be not quite sane in body and mind sectioned, the psychiatric hospitals would be overflowing with them....
                        and we would all be saying....
                        Most of them probaby work in the store my store is part of, lol

                        Quoth earl colby pottinger View Post
                        She bought in just a week, yet says "hag; But this phone is my life, I have people I need to keep in contact with, etc, etc".

                        If she bought that soon ago, it should be no problem telling the few people who would ever want to talk to her a new phone number AGAIN!
                        BH, apprently, she had a contract with us, and this was a replacement phone
                        Last edited by MadMike; 10-30-2019, 06:07 PM. Reason: Merge consecutive posts

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Quoth Irving Patrick Freleigh View Post
                          "Down the road, not across the street, K?"
                          I think you meant "down the vein, not across the wrist"...

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            That's what it means....
                            “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged.
                            One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world.
                            The other, of course, involves orcs." -- John Rogers

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Quoth SimonF12009 View Post
                              hag; Fine, I'll go home, commit suicide, and address my suicide note to Trading Standards so you will all get in trouble
                              Translation: “See you next week!”
                              "Ignorance is no excuse for a law."
                              .................................................. ..................- Alfred E. Newman

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