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  • Most Ridiculous Reasons to Call Tech Support

    A call I got today inspired me to start a thread.

    I'd like to hear the silliest things people have asked your tech support to fix. Here's mine as an example:

    Today I got a call from a remote site because the lady's keyboard and mouse were not color coordinated with her monitor. Also claimed she couldn't use the keyboard because, "Its not one I've used before. I don't know how to use it".

    It is the standard white platic keyboard that I think came issued with every PC and as prizes in boxes of cereal in the `90s.
    The Rich keep getting richer because they keep doing what it was that made them rich. Ditto the Poor.
    "Hy kan tell dey is schmot qvestions, dey is makink my head hurt."
    Hoc spatio locantur.

  • #2
    Oh, well, her speakers were, so that's good.

    I've gotten that call more often than I want to remember.

    I just had two people call the COMPUTER helpdesk, one for information on the uni's adult and graduate studies programs, the other for a copy of a tax form. :: rolls eyes ::

    At least the second one said on the phone long enough for me to get to the necessary person.
    SC: “Yeah, Bob’s Company. I'm Bob. It's my company.” - GK
    SuperHotelWorker made my Avi!!

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    • #3
      Quoth Geek King View Post
      I'd like to hear the silliest things people have asked your tech support to fix. Here's mine as an example:
      Client (BTW, GOOD Client - affable, sincere, kept thousands of intricate real estate listings in his head no problem.) calls my cell concerning the printer quality petering out. I explain that the cartridge is running out, explain that it is FAR cheaper to grab one at Whereever and install it himself than to have me do it, plus, it will happen over and over during the life of the printer so....

      No problem. Until, "sms001, I put in the new cartridge just like the instructions in the booklet you told me about (See! GOOD customer.) and now it isn't printing anything. I run through some steps over the phone. Cartridge unpacked, inserted correctly, printer rebooted, etc. hmmmmmmmmm. "Did you take the little head protecter off?" "Yes." "The little piece of tape too?" "YES."

      Short story long, I roll into the office, open the printer, remove the cartridge, remove the tape, stick it to the top of the machine and reassemble. Test page comes out all shiny. Client is in awe and willing to be invoiced. I tell him very gently that "If I'm property hunting and you ask me if I'm willing to accept acreage with a county lien abutment taxage froohitz to save a hundred bucks I will listen and ask you to explain anything I don't understand IF you promise to listen and let me save YOU money next time this happens! " He chuckled and agreed heartily.

      So... no suckiness. BUT answering "YES" when the answer is really "No" and being wrong is gonna cost you emergency-after-hours-call bucks? To remove a two inch piece of plastic in nine seconds? DEFINITELY a silly tech call.

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      • #4
        That reminds me of a printer that went around the office. 3 or 4 people before me looked at it, couldn't figure out why the printer was smearing ink so badly. So I was just told to call it in to tech support.

        Since tech support gets a little pissy if I don't look it over first, I do.... and find that the tape ripped while being removed from one of the ink cartridges, thus smearing all the ink from that head. I removed the tape, ran a few one liners through, and ta da!

        Fixed printer, and no Jenni sitting on the phone listening to hold music for hours.
        SC: “Yeah, Bob’s Company. I'm Bob. It's my company.” - GK
        SuperHotelWorker made my Avi!!

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        • #5
          I had a guy complaining and demanding a technician to come out and fix something thats not even a problem.


          Problem: 2-3 second delay before a picture comes up on his tv.
          Never Underestimate the Element of Surprise - Odo, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine

          Captain John Rourke(Clear Skies) - Ah, yes. another Black Bird. Are they free with cereal now or something?

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          • #6
            Computer Stupidities. Includes many many stupid tech suppport calls.

            http://www.rinkworks.com/stupid/
            "We guard the souls in heaven; we don't horse-trade them!" Samandrial in Supernatural

            RIP Plaidman.

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            • #7
              I'd say the best phone calls I get are the spooky-action-at-a-distance-expected ones. Like, if you have a wireless router set up at home, and your computer won't connect, we really can't tell what's up. We're students working campus tech support. We don't know how every router on the planet is set up. If we had it, we could try futzing around, but we're not going to deploy to your home in a different state. Try calling the router company or your ISP; you may have better luck.

              Double points if it's retired faculty with a modem that won't get set up and who is really, really technically incompetent (and repeatedly interjects this fact over your step-by-step instructions that won't be followed).

              Ooooh, there's also the facstaff backups calls! We have a network backup doohickey for faculty and staff school-owned machines. If your computer is on and connected to the network, it will be backed up. If you go on vacation and turn your computer off, you will come back to a verrrrrrrry scarrrrrrrrry error message about "OH NOEZ! Your computer isn't backed up! Call the Tech Desk at (ournumber) right now!!!11!!eleventy" This induces panic in many, who then call us and go waaaaah! Sometimes they refuse to calm down when we say "it's ok, just leave it on for a few days," or they call us back the next day if it hasn't gone away yet. Although, really, it's not the client being ridiculous, it's whoever wrote that damn error message. And sent them to us.

              Over the summer, I got a phone call from a student in Florida. Apparantly, Florida has some weird rules and regulations involving insurance, and considers warranties to be a form thereof. Dell is not a licensed insurance provider. Ergo, they cannot sell a computer with a warranty to anyone with either billing or shipping address in that state. The student wanted a ourschool laptop program computer, which always comes with warranty. Oh dear. Again, not the client being ridiculous, but Florida.

              Oh, and I mentioned this in a previous post, but the best non-technical question I was ever asked (by a sucky couple I'd spoken with about 6 times earlier in the day about technical things) was, during a thunderstorm that had knocked out campus power: "Do you know if the pool's still open?"

              a.) My magical scrying ability will of course show me if the gym with the pool on the other side of campus has power.

              b.) Thunderstorm + Pool = Potentially No More Sucky Couple (hmmm....)

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              • #8
                I had someone call in and ask if they could get a new cable modem because they got a new PC and the modem no longer matches the color scheme.

                Also, I get tired of the (usually older) folks who call in about not only not knowing how to work their remotes, but having some sort of mental block where they refuse to learn even the basic steps.
                "You know, there are times when it's a source of personal pride not to be human." - Hobbes

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                • #9
                  Impetrix, you're breaking my heart! It's true, everywhere??? WAHHHHAAA!!!

                  What's even worse is when you get that retired faculty member who brings in his laptop, which he connects to via dial up to you, when you have all of ****1**** analog phone line, which is dedicated to the fax machine! That makes troubleshooting sooo much fun!
                  SC: “Yeah, Bob’s Company. I'm Bob. It's my company.” - GK
                  SuperHotelWorker made my Avi!!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    I was over at my dads a couple of weeks ago looking at his computer. I noticed that he had a metric fuckton of crap loading at startup and asked him about it. His response, "I forgot how to remove it".....oh yeah I guess I should add that he used to be a programer. Maybe retirement does make you a little mushy.
                    My Karma ran over your dogma.

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                    • #11
                      Where's my internet? Where's my blue E!!!!!! OMGZ I CANT GET ON THE INTERNET aaaieee...

                      go to start, programs, look...theres a blue e there.....

                      _________________

                      Another one, same idiot:

                      I can't get to a website.
                      Ok, which one?

                      Uh I can't tell you.

                      Well I need to know so I can replicate and try it on my side.....

                      Uh I don't want you to know...

                      Look: I don't care what you do or who you do it with. I need to see the problem in front of me so that I can fix it. (mind you I'm female, he's...duh)

                      Uh, ok....
                      goes to playboy site.

                      Oh, See...Look. The little yellow bar across the top. It says Popup Blocked.

                      What does that mean?

                      It means the window it was trying to pop up for you to log in (with one hand, mind you) was blocked. I'll fix it.

                      Oh.

                      Now look, try it again.

                      Ahh! Better! Now I can log in!

                      Yes, but you will need to read the screen more often.

                      *shudder*

                      Cutenoob
                      In my heart, in my soul, I'm a woman for rock & roll.
                      She's as fast as slugs on barbituates.

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                      • #12
                        *dies* omg... well, he did warn you LOL
                        GK/Kara/Jester fangirl.

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                        • #13
                          Quoth Cutenoob View Post
                          Where's my internet? Where's my blue E!!!!!! OMGZ I CANT GET ON THE INTERNET aaaieee...

                          go to start, programs, look...theres a blue e there.....
                          Now walk them though making a shortcut. You might want a hard drink and a gun before you attempt that.

                          Right click the icon

                          Internet explorer opened up.

                          OK, close that out and right click the icon

                          Internet explorer opened up.

                          OK, close that and RIGHT CLICK, not left click, use the mousebutton that is on the right....

                          And it was just playboy? Hell, that's pretty soft core there, it's not like he wanted to take you to some 3-some / horse / midget / grape jelly fetish site (or worse!)


                          My old supervisor's supervisor, the main reason why I was so happy to get out of that department was the one who fired those lasers up her nose (reference?). No, in fact, he's his cousin.

                          During the laptop project he got his. He inspected it with a microscope and found a small scratch on the serial number sticker on the bottom . He demanded that they replace it because it was used, not new. He escalated it pretty high talking down to anyone who he spoke to, including a vice president. It was finally exchanged so the VP didn't have to listen to him calling him every few hours.

                          The replacement had a similar scratch (probabaly from where they refash them with our software). He did the same thing. VP told him to deal with it or buy his own.
                          Quote Dalesys:
                          ... as in "Ifn thet dawg comes at me, Ima gonna shutz ma panz!"

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                          • #14
                            Most ridiculous - "My sofa hasn't been delivered!"

                            Quoth draggar View Post
                            Now walk them though making a shortcut. You might want a hard drink and a gun before you attempt that.
                            I may have mentioned this before but I see you and raise with "Moving the taskbar back to the bottom of the screen"
                            Lady, people aren't chocolates. D'you know what they are mostly? Bastards. Bastard-coated bastards with bastard filling. Dr Cox - Scrubs

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Quoth Naaman View Post
                              I may have mentioned this before but I see you and raise with "Moving the taskbar back to the bottom of the screen"
                              I'll raise you a 'cant tell the difference between LEFT click and RIGHT click and the support tech I used to work with who didn't believe that Windows 3.1 existed.
                              Quote Dalesys:
                              ... as in "Ifn thet dawg comes at me, Ima gonna shutz ma panz!"

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