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Phrases that don't help

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  • #31
    "The error message says 'Error Communicating'."

    No it doesn't. It says "Error Communicating" followed by one of 7 different things. SEVEN. And all of them are completely different things. It's like saying "I'm going to eat some food" and expecting me to divine from that whether you're eating lobster or pancakes.

    "It's acting weird/funny/strange."

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    • #32
      "My computer is sloooooooooooooooow"

      "I've had this problem for 3 weeks" [but I never mentioned it before now]
      "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
      "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
      "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
      "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
      "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
      "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
      Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
      "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

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      • #33
        In a email: Last week I got some error message when I tried to open a application.

        My response: Cna you describe the error message better and what application? Has it happened since then?

        user: I don't remember. When do you think it will be fixed?

        Comment


        • #34
          This thread is why this will now be posted next to my computer:

          Tech Support Flow Chart
          Any day you're looking down at the dirt instead of up at the dirt is a good day.

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          • #35
            "Well, it was working yesterday !"

            "Well, it was working an hour ago !"
            Good Morning Base, 209 is Mobile !

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            • #36
              Quoth technical.angel View Post
              "It died."
              Today's project (cranky Alienware laptop) has, in the "description of problem" field:
              G. O. K.
              WTF?
              "God Only Knows".
              My favorite "problem" was listed as:
              "My computer gave me a shock and shut down". I wasn't sure I even wanted to touch this unit, then it hit me: student walked across the room, gathering static electrons, then touched the laptop, which promptly did the hucklebuck.
              "It died/it won't turn on" usually tells me the student installed the Red Bull 8.0z upgrade on the unit.

              P*S

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              • #37
                Quoth Plague*Star View Post
                "It died/it won't turn on" usually tells me the student installed the Red Bull 8.0z upgrade on the unit.
                The one developed by Klutz Softwares that uses the SpillOn interface?
                "I am not able rightly to apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question."

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                • #38
                  the phrase "The Three Stooges were just here"

                  The site manager said this to me about the techs who were "supposedly" certified in the proper repair of IBM S/36's came in to "repair" a box that had failed. apparently they just stood around mumbling to each other, started arguing and then left without even cracking the machine open or doing any diagnostics or toubleshooting
                  I'm lost without a paddle and headed up SH*T creek.
                  -- Life Sucks Then You Die.


                  "I'll believe corp. are people when Texas executes one."

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                  • #39
                    Quoth crazylegs View Post
                    Hand me a rusty spoon and a plastic sheet...
                    Don't forget the bathtub full of ice.
                    Fixing problems... one broken customer at a time.

                    Comment


                    • #40
                      Quoth Blade_Raver View Post
                      Don't forget the bathtub full of ice.
                      You're too kind...
                      No matter how low my opinion of humanity as a whole gets, there are always over-achievers who seek to surpass my expectations.

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                      • #41
                        Quoth Plague*Star View Post
                        "It died/it won't turn on" usually tells me the student installed the Red Bull 8.0z upgrade on the unit.

                        P*S
                        A friend of mine, nicknamed "Calamity Dobbo" for various incidents was once left for no more than 3 minutes in a room alone with a cup of tea and my brothers computer. he swears the keyboard was already broken, everyone else thought otherwise, especially when one side was was lifted up and it started to drain.

                        Also:
                        "The computer's not working!" (generally just a program, not the whole machine, but clearly I already know that, I am of course psycic)
                        (I go and follow whatever processed led to the error)
                        "Well it didn't work when I tried that"
                        (Rookie mistake: I leave to try to get back to what I was doing)
                        *5-10 min later* "Its not working again!"

                        I swear I must have some sort of healing power over electronic devices, stuff just seems to work when I'm using it
                        Last edited by Plank; 09-07-2009, 09:13 AM.
                        The customer is always right! Which is a shame, as my gun pulls to the left

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                        • #42
                          "It was only water." (100 proof water's the best)
                          "My daddy set it up."
                          "The internet is broken." (Aieee!)
                          "My friend gave me his copy of Windows."
                          "I like my dell."
                          "Can you have it done tomorrow?"
                          "My windows isn't working" (Better call maintenance before it rains)
                          "I can't pirate stuff any more, did you block limewire/bittorrent?"
                          "How do I get free ____?"
                          "You're a Computer Science major? Can you fix my computer?"
                          "You're a techie? I built a computer once?"
                          "You're a techie? I know nothing about computers."

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                          • #43
                            "I found this fix on the internet. It said to open 'registry editor' and delete/add/change/configure/move/kill _________"
                            I pirated a copy of Linux and nobody cared

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                            • #44
                              "Please download the internet onto my computer."
                              SC: “Yeah, Bob’s Company. I'm Bob. It's my company.” - GK
                              SuperHotelWorker made my Avi!!

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                              • #45
                                "It done blew up."
                                Coworker: Distro of choice?
                                Me: Gentoo.
                                Coworker: Ahh. A Masochist. I thought so.

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