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Kelshir's wife here...as I have to go do the shopping with our toddler I thought I'd respond. Please note that I understand every child will have a meltdown occasionally! I just have been able to head them off thus far.
#1 - I just have him "help" me put things in the cart and he's happy doing that. Sometimes he is holding an item when we go to the checkout. Yes, it slows down the line when I have him put what he's holding on the belt right now, but it is also early teaching about how we do things at the store. And if you don't grab it away, but let the child feel like he's doing something great, so far I've had no fussing. I'm learning (brace yourselves) that my mum was right - much of how children behave is based on how the parents expect them to behave, even as toddlers. I understand too it's harder with more than one, but I remember my mother teaching us to get things from the low shelves for her, and by 4 or 5 I could reasonably select produce. She would say "---, please get that red can of tomatoes. John, do you see what can your sister is getting? What colour is it? ---, please give **** the round can. ****, can you please put that red, round can in the cart for Mummy? Thank you, children, you are so helpful." Yes, grocery shopping took forever but think how much we learned that way!
That said, I know people are usually in a time crunch, but I always cringe when I see people out shopping basically ignoring their children. I have a more than sneaking suspicion that the same parents propping the baby in the car carrier or dumping them in the seat then leaving the basket while they run around the end of the aisle are the same parents who later allow their children to run unattended wreaking havoc. Engage the child in what you are doing unless it's something they really can't do (say, mowing, cooking, electrical work, etc) for so many reasons. Of course, the worst I have seen with the car carriers is someone setting the carrier on the floor under the front of the belt, unloading their purchases, walking round to pay, putting the bags in the cart, and only THEN coming back round to get the baby. I was standing there rather shocked. (I can't avoid it, I must sing the praises of a sling or front carrier and shout epithets about whoever created those "travel system" seats that keep you from having to touch your child except to change the diaper.)
Also, I try to avoid getting into the long queues and I certainly don't attempt the express even if I've got less than 20 items, as I know it will take us longer to get through. And yes, the little one does tend to knock things down when getting them, but until he's big enough to pick it back up and fix the display that is my job.
#2 - This I haven't run into yet. Very young children quickly forget about things, though, usually if you hide things for a few days it's new when you pull it out. I don't see why you would try to get an older child's gift this way, though. I can see the point about sale items. I think my mum used to handle that by saying it was for a cousin's birthday, wasn't it nice and didn't we wonder what we might be getting for our birthday? Stopped working by about school age but that was old enough trips without us could be managed.
#3 - Agreed that this is indeed reprehensible. But then again I think putting things back once you have reached the checkout unless it was mismarked or you are in very dire straits indeed is poor behaviour. If you know you're running on a limited budget, take paper and pencil, keep a running total as you shop, then you know whether to indulge yourself or not. You are also more likely to spot a mismarked or misrung item when you reach the checkstand! Or I suppose just keep it totted up on your cell phone calculator if you're one of those high-tech people.
#4 - This is a case of misplaced helpfulness, I think. The child knows you have to pick up things to scan, the adult knows you have to put the bagged items in the cart...
I use cloth bags myself, which is fine at our Kroger's since they are pushing reusable bags right now and all the baggers are fully trained. They also have enough people on staff that there is always a cashier and a bagger. The BAD*MART on the other hand, I have learned to let them bag everything haphazardly in the plastic bags and go on, then take the cart out next to the bag recycling box and repack it myself. Also, with the BAD*MART if I don't grab the bags off the carousel, the cashiers never stop to put bags in the basket between orders, so if wait you end up having to check the bags to make sure you're not getting someone else's purchases as well. (And I've ended up with a few random things because they were left by the last customer, never quite sure what to do about that, I tried to return them without getting a refund once and they weren't allowed to do that apparently, told me just to keep them but it feels larcenous.) They are never staffed adequately and avoiding peak times and long lines is frequently unavoidable there, since everything but perhaps 2:30 in the morning is apparently a peak time in this town. So perhaps your "claw of impatience" customers have just been BAD*MART shoppers for too long. Not that I blame the poor harried cashiers, mind you, I know they are being driven like slaves. If there were anywhere else to buy things in this town I would certainly not be giving BAD*MART my business. Literally, though, we have groceries and the BAD*MART.
What I do is place things on the belt, I have my son help by handing ME things to put on the belt. I can still go fairly quickly and he feels like he's doing something. Yes, this necessitates letting him stand in the basket once I've gotten it about halfway empty, BUT I am literally right next to him. It also means he can't be tempted by the grab & go candy displays, since they are far out of reach and he's occupied helping mummy. Then we go down and he "helps" me with the money. The cashier and the bagger or the poor harried cashier at the BAD*MART can get on just fine as long as they don't mind him saying "beep beep" at them a lot.
Rubystars, I think you handled the child holding the item out to you correctly, it was probably just a stressed out mother reacting.
#1 - I just have him "help" me put things in the cart and he's happy doing that. Sometimes he is holding an item when we go to the checkout. Yes, it slows down the line when I have him put what he's holding on the belt right now, but it is also early teaching about how we do things at the store. And if you don't grab it away, but let the child feel like he's doing something great, so far I've had no fussing. I'm learning (brace yourselves) that my mum was right - much of how children behave is based on how the parents expect them to behave, even as toddlers. I understand too it's harder with more than one, but I remember my mother teaching us to get things from the low shelves for her, and by 4 or 5 I could reasonably select produce. She would say "---, please get that red can of tomatoes. John, do you see what can your sister is getting? What colour is it? ---, please give **** the round can. ****, can you please put that red, round can in the cart for Mummy? Thank you, children, you are so helpful." Yes, grocery shopping took forever but think how much we learned that way!
That said, I know people are usually in a time crunch, but I always cringe when I see people out shopping basically ignoring their children. I have a more than sneaking suspicion that the same parents propping the baby in the car carrier or dumping them in the seat then leaving the basket while they run around the end of the aisle are the same parents who later allow their children to run unattended wreaking havoc. Engage the child in what you are doing unless it's something they really can't do (say, mowing, cooking, electrical work, etc) for so many reasons. Of course, the worst I have seen with the car carriers is someone setting the carrier on the floor under the front of the belt, unloading their purchases, walking round to pay, putting the bags in the cart, and only THEN coming back round to get the baby. I was standing there rather shocked. (I can't avoid it, I must sing the praises of a sling or front carrier and shout epithets about whoever created those "travel system" seats that keep you from having to touch your child except to change the diaper.)
Also, I try to avoid getting into the long queues and I certainly don't attempt the express even if I've got less than 20 items, as I know it will take us longer to get through. And yes, the little one does tend to knock things down when getting them, but until he's big enough to pick it back up and fix the display that is my job.
#2 - This I haven't run into yet. Very young children quickly forget about things, though, usually if you hide things for a few days it's new when you pull it out. I don't see why you would try to get an older child's gift this way, though. I can see the point about sale items. I think my mum used to handle that by saying it was for a cousin's birthday, wasn't it nice and didn't we wonder what we might be getting for our birthday? Stopped working by about school age but that was old enough trips without us could be managed.
#3 - Agreed that this is indeed reprehensible. But then again I think putting things back once you have reached the checkout unless it was mismarked or you are in very dire straits indeed is poor behaviour. If you know you're running on a limited budget, take paper and pencil, keep a running total as you shop, then you know whether to indulge yourself or not. You are also more likely to spot a mismarked or misrung item when you reach the checkstand! Or I suppose just keep it totted up on your cell phone calculator if you're one of those high-tech people.
#4 - This is a case of misplaced helpfulness, I think. The child knows you have to pick up things to scan, the adult knows you have to put the bagged items in the cart...
I use cloth bags myself, which is fine at our Kroger's since they are pushing reusable bags right now and all the baggers are fully trained. They also have enough people on staff that there is always a cashier and a bagger. The BAD*MART on the other hand, I have learned to let them bag everything haphazardly in the plastic bags and go on, then take the cart out next to the bag recycling box and repack it myself. Also, with the BAD*MART if I don't grab the bags off the carousel, the cashiers never stop to put bags in the basket between orders, so if wait you end up having to check the bags to make sure you're not getting someone else's purchases as well. (And I've ended up with a few random things because they were left by the last customer, never quite sure what to do about that, I tried to return them without getting a refund once and they weren't allowed to do that apparently, told me just to keep them but it feels larcenous.) They are never staffed adequately and avoiding peak times and long lines is frequently unavoidable there, since everything but perhaps 2:30 in the morning is apparently a peak time in this town. So perhaps your "claw of impatience" customers have just been BAD*MART shoppers for too long. Not that I blame the poor harried cashiers, mind you, I know they are being driven like slaves. If there were anywhere else to buy things in this town I would certainly not be giving BAD*MART my business. Literally, though, we have groceries and the BAD*MART.
What I do is place things on the belt, I have my son help by handing ME things to put on the belt. I can still go fairly quickly and he feels like he's doing something. Yes, this necessitates letting him stand in the basket once I've gotten it about halfway empty, BUT I am literally right next to him. It also means he can't be tempted by the grab & go candy displays, since they are far out of reach and he's occupied helping mummy. Then we go down and he "helps" me with the money. The cashier and the bagger or the poor harried cashier at the BAD*MART can get on just fine as long as they don't mind him saying "beep beep" at them a lot.
Rubystars, I think you handled the child holding the item out to you correctly, it was probably just a stressed out mother reacting.
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