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What a horrible, horrible man . . .

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  • #16
    GingerBiscuit, I know just how you feel. All of your circumstances relate to mine, except my mother doesn't have an illness.

    I met someone when I was 13. He wanted me to do things, sexual things, that I didn't want to do. I always said no, which didn't help when he forced it on me...okaaayyyy...things are getting too real...I don't usually talk about it. I hope you all get the idea.

    It took me a couple years to get over it. I never thought of myself as a victim either, until I was on the other side. I have always been strong-willed, but the years of adolecence can rage serious damage on a person. Especially all the bullying that goes on in middle school. Which reminds me of song lyrics:

    The boys and girls in the clique,
    They offer names that they stick,
    You're never gonna fit in much kid,
    But if you're troubled and hurt,
    What you got under your shirt,
    Will make them pay for the things that they did.

    Teenagers scare the living shit outta me...-MCR Teenagers

    I think more girls than we realize go through something like this. And they don't want to report it because it's embarrassing, shameful, or they don't want their parents to know. I didn't report it for all of those reasons, but especially because I was scared of what my parents would do.
    Check out my cosplay social group!
    http://customerssuck.com/board/group.php?groupid=18

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    • #17
      Quoth JustADude View Post
      I was not sane at that point in time, but over a year later, I'd still be severely tempted to gut him like a fish if I saw him again.
      I'll carry your tools for you.....

      I used to know a woman who wasn't book smart, but had a whole lot of just life smarts. She was outgoing, organized, had a job, did quite well raising her kid on her own, but had been told her entire life by her father that she was stupid and worthless that deep down she believed it.

      There was no way any of us (and we were at least two separate faire guilds plus others) could convince her that a) she was a pretty sharp cookie, and b) she didn't need to have a man in her life to be whole.

      Thankfully, the guy she ended up marrying as her second husband, while being a bit stupid and somewhat insensitive, was the type of guy who would idolize his wife and protect her from the end of the world itself, if he could.

      ^-.-^
      Faith is about what you do. It's about aspiring to be better and nobler and kinder than you are. It's about making sacrifices for the good of others. - Dresden

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      • #18
        I've never understood why women in that position don't just stab the husband in the middle of the night. If it's ok for him to but up on you, isn't it also ok for you to do it right back to him?Two wrongs, at least in this instance, DO make right.
        Broadcasting to you live from the nerve center of my brain..... szzzt *we are currently experiencing technical difficulties, please stand by*

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        • #19
          Quoth allniter View Post
          I've never understood why women in that position don't just stab the husband in the middle of the night. If it's ok for him to but up on you, isn't it also ok for you to do it right back to him?Two wrongs, at least in this instance, DO make right.
          Actually once an abusive relationship gets to a certain point there are only 3 endings:
          1. She kills him.
          2. He kills her.
          3. They kill each other.

          At least if the abusee kills the abuser, they usually get off on self defense charges because at that point there should have been enough reports for the cops to know what's going on at that house.

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          • #20
            Quoth Emrld View Post
            All I am saying is that their may be more factors. However if you feel that the child is in any danger - contact CPS. If they are ever physical in your store - call the police. It is that simple.
            ITA with your whole post. Nothing can be assumed about the situation unless there was more of a scene happened at the store. What was described didn't sound like something that would automatically lead someone to assume such things IMO.

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            • #21
              Quoth RecoveringKinkoid View Post
              I have, however, met plenty of men for whom insidious, subtle undermining is a standard MO when they are dealing with women. I recognize it instantly when I see it. These men tend to fit their own profile, and it's not an attractive one.
              Same here. The minute they attempt to manipulate or 'jokingly' belittle me is the day their ass hits the door. I'm sorry, if I wanted to be jerked around and degraded by somebody, I'd find myself an enemy, not a lover. I'm also not one to trust others easily.

              I suppose that explains why I'm perpetually single.
              Mike: I'm gonna tell my boss I'm Puma Man, maybe he'll let me off early.

              - "Puma Man", MST3K.

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              • #22
                Then what are these for . . .?
                those, m'dear, are for long term castration methods formerly practiced in torture chambers...*whistles innocently*

                yes, these types of scum choose someone with already flagging esteem then destroy it by degrees over time, leaving a timid empty shell of a being to command around much like a slave. it's sad, really.

                i'm wondering if the inability to read is due to eyesight issues or illiteracy; if it's the latter, and wifey is smarter, that'll create resentment on his part, balanced by a sick joy in berating and verbally abusing her, creating a sense of superiority that he feels he deserves for whatever reason.

                people like this should suffer, suffer horribly.
                look! it's ghengis khan!
                Sorry, but while I can do many things, extracting heads from anuses isn't one of them. (so sayeth the irv)

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                • #23
                  Despite their claims, abusive men never change. My best friend's father would hit him and his mom on a regular basis. I witnessed it firsthand, he'd get hit over normal kid misbehavior stuff that doesn't warrant a backhand to the face. My friend's mom is an artist so she'd frequently have casts on her arms and hands. Her mom (little old no-bullshit eastern European lady) ended up throwing the bum out.

                  I just talked to my friend's mom recently and she found out her ex is now doing the same stuff to his new wife, after using her as an example of how he's "changed".
                  "You know, there are times when it's a source of personal pride not to be human." - Hobbes

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                  • #24
                    Quoth allniter View Post
                    I've never understood why women in that position don't just stab the husband in the middle of the night. If it's ok for him to but up on you, isn't it also ok for you to do it right back to him?Two wrongs, at least in this instance, DO make right.
                    It happens sometimes. And when it does, the woman sometimes gets off on self-defence - and sometimes lands in jail for murder. It depends on the jurisdiction, how good the defence attorney is, the make-up of the jury, what the judge ate for breakfast that day, how the planets are aligned and whether a black cat crossed her path on the way to the courtroom.
                    Seshat's self-help guide:
                    1. Would you rather be right, or get the result you want?
                    2. If you're consistently getting results you don't want, change what you do.
                    3. Deal with the situation you have now, however it occurred.
                    4. Accept the consequences of your decisions.

                    "All I want is a pretty girl, a decent meal, and the right to shoot lightning at fools." - Anders, Dragon Age.

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                    • #25
                      Quoth Seshat View Post
                      It happens sometimes. And when it does, the woman sometimes gets off on self-defence - and sometimes lands in jail for murder. It depends on the jurisdiction, how good the defence attorney is, the make-up of the jury, what the judge ate for breakfast that day, how the planets are aligned and whether a black cat crossed her path on the way to the courtroom.
                      Actually, the legal distinction, and it's a federal president, is whether he was actively assaulting her when she killed him. My paternal genetic template is still alive, but Mom spent years working for an agency who tried to help get the government to give support to the family of the kids left behind when daddy's dead and mommy's in jail.
                      ...WHY DO YOU TEMPT WHAT LITTLE FAITH IN HUMANITY I HAVE!?! -- Kalga
                      And I want a pony for Christmas but neither of us is getting what we want OK! What you are asking is impossible. -- Wicked Lexi

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                      • #26
                        Quoth Emrld View Post
                        The man was walking with a limp . . .unable to read . . .and wife was the driver . . .I can think of lots of options that could be jumped to . . .not just the one you presented.
                        That was a very good post... a different perspective!

                        Before condemning this guy, its best to look at it from all angles.

                        Whoever is the abuser, whether it be physical, mental, emotional, etc., I hope they suffer a long and excruciating death.

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