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gas pumps and idiots

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  • #16
    Wow. Once again, I'm glad I don't have any kind of motorcar.
    Customers should always be served . . . to the nearest great white.

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    • #17
      I'm still trying to figure out how people can screw up putting gas into their vehicles. It's not that hard! Of course, I'm not an idiot either
      Aerodynamics are for people who can't build engines. --Enzo Ferrari

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      • #18
        the more I read, the more I'm ever so glad to have moved to Oregon, where we don't pump our own gas. I never minded pumping my own (even though I actually started driving back in the days before self-serve was the norm), but it's nice not to have to worry about what the other idiots are doing that can endanger my life.

        Madness takes it's toll....
        Please have exact change ready.

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        • #19
          Quoth protege View Post
          I'm still trying to figure out how people can screw up putting gas into their vehicles. It's not that hard! Of course, I'm not an idiot either
          You're the gas man, find the gas tank... "Well, what if I just pour it all over the car, maybe it'll suck in somewhere..."

          [/200MPH]
          I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
          Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
          Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.

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          • #20
            Quoth figgyx View Post
            Any number of bad things can happen if you don't stay with your vehicle.
            The car not being there when you get back being one of the more obvious ones...
            "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
            "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
            "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
            "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
            "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
            "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
            Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
            "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

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            • #21
              Quoth protege View Post
              I'm still trying to figure out how people can screw up putting gas into their vehicles. It's not that hard! Of course, I'm not an idiot either
              Hell, I'm still trying to figure out how some of these people walk and breathe at the same time without screwing that up!
              Human Resources - the adult version of "I'm telling Mom." - Agent Anthony "Tony" DiNozzo (NCIS)

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              • #22
                I've seen various idiots during the time I've worked at the petrol station; some of these people have obviously been driving for years so they ought to have worked out how to pump fuel without making a hash of it.

                I've switched off a pump for the following reasons:

                * "Father of the Year" who passed the nozzle to his eight year old daughter. I switched off the pump, due to the rule represented by stickers on the pump that says that no under sixteens can pump fuel. He of course came into the kiosk to bitch about his pump being switched off and to say that it didn't matter, cuz he was there to supervise her. Yeah, never mind the fact that the girl's face is directly opposite the fuel hole, and any splashback will go right in her eyes. It's sad to think that we cared more about his daughter's safety than her own father.

                * Customer who pulled out his mobile twice. He did it once and was told off and informed that doing it again would mean his pump was switched off. He put the phone away, waited til the collegue returned to the petrol station, then pulled the damn thing out again, cuz we can't see shit once we're in the kiosk, right? -.- He then stormed into the kiosk, ranting about how it was an important call and he had to take it. My manager then told him that if it's that important, he can take it inside the kiosk... she has a special voice she uses to deal with idiots with flash suits and cars who think they're speshul. After hearing it, he shut up and went back outside to finish filling his car; this time, he left his mobile in his pocket.

                * Idiot woman who pulled the nozzle out of the car for no reason. Even so, a load of diesel still got splashed all over the ground and over the idiot customer. She said that she didn't think that the fuel was going into her car, cuz her fuel counter wasn't going up. Duh... I don't have a car and even I know that doesn't move while the engine is switched off. -.-

                * Bloke who's moronic wife lit up a cigarette while sitting in the car with the windows wound down. When she saw that we'd seen her, she ducked her hand down but seeing as the smoke was curling up... it was a waste of time. I switched the pump off and my collegue went out to give her a bollocking.
                People who don't like cats were probably mice in an earlier life.
                My DeviantArt.

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                • #23
                  Quoth Lace Neil Singer View Post
                  * Idiot woman who pulled the nozzle out of the car for no reason. Even so, a load of diesel still got splashed all over the ground and over the idiot customer. She said that she didn't think that the fuel was going into her car, cuz her fuel counter wasn't going up. Duh... I don't have a car and even I know that doesn't move while the engine is switched off. -.-
                  Depends what counter she was referring to. If it's the gauge on the dash, she's a moron. If it's the counter on the pump, I could understand turning off the nozzle, pulling it back so it was barely in the filler (i.e. you could see the stream of fuel, but it would go into the tank), then squeezing the trigger to see if fuel comes out. Pulling a nozzle that's set on "full blast" completely out of the tank is a moron stunt.
                  Any fool can piss on the floor. It takes a talented SC to shit on the ceiling.

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                  • #24
                    How about the idiots who park on the wrong side and try to get the nozzle and hose to go around their car

                    At least if I realize I did it wrong, I move. I don't even attempt anything stupid.
                    You really need to see a neurologist. - Wagegoth

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                    • #25
                      And the creative places auto designers would put the gas cap...

                      (Is this true of any modern cars?)

                      Behind the rear license plate.

                      Behind the tail-light. (Is this one on the right or left side)

                      Under the hood. (VW Beetle)
                      I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
                      Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
                      Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.

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                      • #26
                        Quoth dalesys View Post
                        And the creative places auto designers would put the gas cap...

                        (Is this true of any modern cars?)

                        Behind the rear license plate.

                        I used to have a 1972 Cutlass that had the gas cap behind the rear plate. Never had to worry about what side of the pump I needed. Damn, but I loved that car.

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                        • #27
                          Quoth laborcat View Post
                          I used to have a 1972 Cutlass that had the gas cap behind the rear plate. Never had to worry about what side of the pump I needed. Damn, but I loved that car.
                          I don't have to worry with my '70 MGB GT either. I can use any pump, since the filler is on the rear of the car. But, since it's closer to the right side, it's easier to use those pumps. Not always possible though, so I just pull up a bit further. Usually, because the filler is at an odd angle (I temporarily have a filler tube from an earlier model year fitted...which isn't quite the same angle), the pump sometimes shuts off while I'm using it. No big deal, I don't insert it all the way, and I'm good. Within a few minutes, the car has another tank of Premium, and I'm back on the road for another session of "spirited" driving
                          Aerodynamics are for people who can't build engines. --Enzo Ferrari

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                          • #28
                            Quoth blas View Post
                            How about the idiots who park on the wrong side and try to get the nozzle and hose to go around their car

                            At least if I realize I did it wrong, I move. I don't even attempt anything stupid.
                            I've done the first part recently a few times, and just shrugged and moved the car. I recently switched from a Chevy (tank on the driver's side) to a Subaru (tank on the right, which I suppose is the driver's side where that car was made) and I keep forgetting where the fuel goes. My mother drives a Ford Explorer, and that one also goes on the right. I wish the manufacturers would get together on this.

                            Of course in the great state of Joisey it's illegal to pump your own gas, so a lot of the worst idiocies are averted; the attendant simply won't pump your fuel if you're being stupid.

                            Speaking of idiocy, whoever designed this car is a moron. Never mind the seats that give you leg pain after a half hour of driving, it's simply not possible to reach down and pull the lever that opens the gas flap without getting entirely out of the car. If I could bend that far, I'd be able to autofellate myself...

                            Quoth dalesys View Post
                            Behind the rear license plate.
                            Both of the cars my father had when I was a kid had this, the '72 Plymouth Fury III and the '76 Impala.

                            Behind the tail-light. (Is this one on the right or left side)
                            I am told it was the left. I heard this from someone in Europe who'd bought a used Peugeot, couldn't figure out where the gas went, brought it back to the dealer, and they couldn't find it either.

                            Under the hood. (VW Beetle)
                            The DeLorean had it there as well.

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                            • #29
                              Quoth laborcat View Post
                              I used to have a 1972 Cutlass that had the gas cap behind the rear plate. Never had to worry about what side of the pump I needed. Damn, but I loved that car.
                              My first car, a 1962 Dodge Dart, had the same thing. I thought it was quite clever, actually. I loved that car, and still miss it.
                              I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
                              My LiveJournal
                              A page we can all agree with!

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                              • #30
                                The parent's '77 Olds and '83 Chevy also had the gas cap behind the rear plate. It was handy as it was "any pump, any isle". Made life easier.

                                When traveling a lot for work in the '90s, I always had to double-check which side the filler was on and put a post-it on the dash to remember.

                                B
                                "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."- Albert Einstein.
                                I never knew how happy paint could make people until I started selling it.

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