Rich Old Fart

[Ghel]

Many of us know this type of customer. He has loads of money but refuses to buy even the basic necessities. "Chuck" wears two layers of gardening gloves instead of buying winter gloves. He goes to the nursing home and visits the folks who live there just so he can drink the free coffee. He hems and haws over every transaction. When interest rates started going down, he negotiated better rates every time one of his CDs came due.

This past year, Chuck finally decided that rates were too low to bother renewing his CDs, and he's started cashing them in. But he still doesn't spend the money. No home improvements. No new clothes. He doesn't even pay someone to clean his run-down house. He just puts all the cash in his safe deposit box.

I have pretty much the same conversation with him every time he comes in. So for narrative's sake, I'm going to combine them together. (Imagine Chuck with an accent similar to that portrayed in Fargo, only thicker and with even more clipped vowels.)

Me: Yeah, interest rates haven't gotten any better.
Him: It's sikk'ning.
Me: Sorry, nothing I can do about it.
Him: Well, I spose I'll cash dis one, too. Ya don' get no intrest on dese certifcates, an' what ya do get, da gubmint takes in taxes.
Me: Sign here, please.
Him: I donno what ta do wit all dis money. I don' got no kids dat I know of. <ha ha> I ain' gonna leave it to da future missus. <ha ha> An' my sister's in worse shape den I am.
Me: Chuck, I have to do some extra paperwork because of the amount of cash you're taking. I need to get a copy of your driver's license.
Him: I don' wan' da gubmint to know how much I got.
Me: They know anyway, Chuck. This is just a formality - something we have to do. I just need the information off your driver's license to complete the form.
Him: Aright. It's sikk'ning, I tell ya. <starts digging for his licence> Ya know, da docter wants me ta git my hip replaced. But I'm gonn' wait til my neighbur gits his knee dun, so we ain' bot' on da butcher's slab at da same time! Dis town can' handle bot' our fun'rals at once.

We go through counting out tens of thousands of dollars to him, which he immediately puts in his safe deposit box. Then he comes back over to my desk.

Him: I'm runnin outta room in dat box. Ya got a bigger one?
Me: Yes. The biggest we have available is 6x10, and it's $55 a year.
Him: How much I got in dat dere savins account?
Me: $xx,000.00
Him: Wow. Dat sure adds up in a hurry.
Me: *It should - your pension and social security goes in every month, and you never take anything out of it.*
Him: I donno what I'm gonn' do wit' all dis money.
Me: Do you have any neices or nephews?
Him: Well, I got my sister's kid, but I don' wan' him to have it.
Me: You could always give it to charity. Do you have a will?
Him: Naw. I donno who I'd leave it to.
Me: Well, if you just leave it in your safe deposit box, it isn't going to go to anyone.

But he'll never pay the attorney's fees to make out a will, so we'll end up having to drill the box, and all this cash he's been hoarding will go to the state. I've seen this with several customers before, but usually they have family locally who can help them out. Chuck, at least, hasn't gotten to the point of senility, as many customers do, where they start thinking their family is trying to steal from them.

[Pixilated]

Wait -- he's putting PILES OF CASH into safety deposit boxes?!

Has he ever explained why he doesn't just add it to his savings account?

Ya know, I'm not so sure Chuck isn't sliding gently into senility ...

Just out of curiosity, have you ever explained to him that, without a will, "da gubmint" will get every penny? (Not saying it's your responsibility -- but if you had, I'm just wondering what his response was.)

[Seraph]

all this cash he's been hoarding will go to the state.

One would think this factor here would sent him into heart palpitations alone.

[telecom_goddess]

Shit I'll pm you my address and you can tell this guy to send the money to me

[morgana]

Sooooo . . . He's looking for a wife, is he?

[XCashier]

Him: I donno what ta do wit all dis money. I don' got no kids dat I know of. <ha ha> I ain' gonna leave it to da future missus. <ha ha> An' my sister's in worse shape den I am.

Then why not give her some of your money, you damned skinflint?!

I'd say he isn't firing on all cylinders, but I don't think he even has any cylinders to fire!

[MoonCat]

"Da gubmint"? I'm more worried about the gas company getting all my money!!

[Food Lady]

Yeah, why doesn't he give it to his sister? He can't take it with him when he dies.

[BeenThereDoneThat]

I agree he's not being very smart (or philanthropic) about the future of his estate...but I'm just wondering if he's old enough to have lived through the Great Depression, like my mom and my in-laws (FIL died in 2010). My mom isn't TOO bad about it but she is relatively frugal and my in-laws were definitely paranoid about their money and the government knowing too much. In any event, it's sad that Chuck wouldn't want his money to go to a good cause if he doesn't know anyone personally he'd want to give it to.

[CatsLairArchives]

If I were dealing with him, I would make the suggestion that if he does not want to leave it to relatives, he should consider giving it to some historical preservation group/society. With as much money as you hint at him having, a historical society could literally save the equivalent of a small city's worth of historic structures.


OR he could donate it to Sea Shepherd to buy a fleet's worth of old warships from some country like Russia.

[Moosenogger]

So wait, if you don't have a Will, any money or valuables in your safety deposit box go to the state? Or is it just if you have no family to claim it?

[Seshat]

Depends on the laws where you are.

As a general rule (at least in Aussieland) if you die without a will, your next of kin gets it. (Spouse or first-order relatives, then second-order relatives*. Depends on the state if it goes further than that.) If no next of kin, yes, it goes to the government's general coffers.

First-order relatives: parents, children, siblings.
Second-order: aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, nephews, grandparents, grandchildren.

[Caractacus_Potts]

Then why not give her some of your money, you damned skinflint?!

If he is not going to spend the money on himself it is unlikely that he will all of a sudden start giving money away to other people, sister or others. He is aware he can't take it with him when he dies. He seems to be implying that he would leave it to his sister but he thinks she will pass before he does.

...but I'm just wondering if he's old enough to have lived through the Great Depression

My grandmother on my father’s side was a young wife and mother during the Great Depression. She was a big believer in taking each paycheck and dividing out the cash into individual envelopes for all bills and expenses. Anything left over went into savings. Period.

So wait, if you don't have a Will, any money or valuables in your safety deposit box go to the state? Or is it just if you have no family to claim it?

IKR! I kind of did a double take when I saw that comment. I mean sure the state decides how to divvy up the property if you don't have a will and they take their cut in any case but it still goes to the living relatives if there are any. His sister will get the majority of it if she is still alive, his nephew if not. Of course that's assuming he hasn't found “da future missus” before he kicks the bucket.

[Ghel]

Has he ever explained why he doesn't just add it to his savings account?

He doesn't want to pay taxes on the interest. For some odd reason, he thinks the taxes he pays is greater than the interest he earns.

Just out of curiosity, have you ever explained to him that, without a will, "da gubmint" will get every penny? (Not saying it's your responsibility -- but if you had, I'm just wondering what his response was.)

Not in so many words, but I have tried to get him to set SOMETHING up.

Sooooo . . . He's looking for a wife, is he?

Not really. It's something he jokes about. He's never been married, that I know of. Every once in a while, some woman will try to attach herself to him, but it never lasts. Either they eventually realize they're not going to get any money out of him, or they get tired of having to put up with his idiosyncracies.

Then why not give her some of your money, you damned skinflint?!

His sister is well-off, too, although I think she actually spends some of her money, based on the stories Chuck tells about her.

I agree he's not being very smart (or philanthropic) about the future of his estate...but I'm just wondering if he's old enough to have lived through the Great Depression,

Chuck was born during the Great Depression, and probably remembers some of it. I don't know how much that figures into his current mindset.

Chuck didn't have a problem spending money in his younger days. He was quite a drinker, I hear (both from him and from other people). Now he spends his time hanging around and talking to anybody who will listen.

So wait, if you don't have a Will, any money or valuables in your safety deposit box go to the state? Or is it just if you have no family to claim it?

If the family wants to claim it, they can. There's paperwork they would need to bring to show they're the next of kin. But they would need to know he has money here, and I think his sister is the only one who knows. If she dies before Chuck does, it's possible the money will just sit there. Even then, his estate will need to go through probate, as every estate over $10,000.00 must in Minnesota. (Well, there are ways to get around that, but Chuck hasn't done any of them.)

Chuck hasn't put anyone else on the lease for his safe deposit box, so even if his family does bring the paperwork, the box might need to be drilled to get at the cash (depending on whether the family can find the keys). He doesn't want to put his sister on the lease because "she's in worse shape den I am" and he doesn't want to put his nephew (I know he has at least one) on the lease because he doesn't "deserve" the money.

I want to tell him to just give the money away. Or spend it -- improve the local economy. But he's such a cheapskate. As I mentioned in the OP, he won't even buy himself proper winter clothes. He goes to the nursing home for the free coffee. I'm fairly sure the real reason he's putting off his hip replacement is that he doesn't want to pay for it (or the portion his insurance won't). He does go out for a burger once or twice a week, but that's about he only thing he spends money on. If his bills didn't come out of his savings account automatically, I doubt he would pay them.

[taxguykarl]

So wait, if you don't have a Will, any money or valuables in your safety deposit box go to the state? Or is it just if you have no family to claim it?

It depends on your state of residency. In Illinois, probate courts appoint an executor to locate the closest heirs and dispense with the estate. In the case of the OP the sister would get his estate, less taxes and executor fees and expenses (which the appointed executor has no obligation to keep down). This article is the effective will.