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  • #16
    Better than putting a chainsaw down your pants.

    http://www.kfor.com/news/local/kfor-...0,920332.story
    "First time I ever seen a chainsaw go down anybody's britches,"

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    • #17
      Quoth workerbee222 View Post
      Who would want to eat meat that had been down someone's pants?
      Sheldon, please pick up the white courtesy phone.
      Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

      "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

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      • #18
        Back when I was on checkouts, there was a meat thief; she stole a load of reduced tickets and put them on two large sides of beef. I got suspicious and called for a supervisor and the woman took off out the door, leaving her shopping behind. She'd gone to the bakery, stolen the reduce stickers and stuck them on the beef.

        Also recently in the supermarket, this woman got pinched trying to run out the door with a stroller packed with meat. She spun out this sob story about her kids being starving, but this was fillet steak packed in a formula one stroller, and she was driving an SUV. Hardly on the breadline.
        People who don't like cats were probably mice in an earlier life.
        My DeviantArt.

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        • #19
          Quoth workerbee222 View Post
          Who would want to eat meat that had been down someone's pants?

          I realize the answers could go two ways on this...
          Yeah, baby!
          They say that God only gives us what we can handle. Apparently, God thinks I'm a bad ass.

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          • #20
            Cheese may not be so strange a thing to shoplift, going by the results of a study I read recently. Did you know that cheese activates the same receptors in your brain that heroin does?

            Food for thought.
            What colour is the sky in your world and how high of a dosage do you need before it turns back to blue? --Gravekeeper

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            • #21
              Quoth mharbourgirl View Post
              Cheese may not be so strange a thing to shoplift, going by the results of a study I read recently. Did you know that cheese activates the same receptors in your brain that heroin does?

              Food for thought.
              Y'know, this could explain why the meat drawer in my fridge was filled with cheese last week....and no meat...
              When you start at zero, everything's progress.

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              • #22
                Quoth MoonCat View Post
                Y'know, this could explain why the meat drawer in my fridge was filled with cheese last week....and no meat...
                I have a cheese drawer that occasionally will share the space with bacon.

                On the shoplifting front - I used to work at an adult toy store and the thing that got stolen the most I honestly could never figure out how it was smuggled out of the store.

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                • #23
                  Quoth auntiem View Post
                  I have a cheese drawer that occasionally will share the space with bacon.
                  Am I the only one who keeps her cheese in the top shelf of the door with the pull down cover and the meats either in the freezer or in the long drawer that goes across the bottom of the fridge part?

                  I've seen folks get busted for trying to steal meat out of the various stores I've worked in over the past 20+ years . . .one of the most memorable occasions involved a regular who lived in the neighborhood. This lady had been banned in our store (and IIRC in the dollar store next door also) for her many shoplifting incidents. It was to the point where the cops were on speed dial if she even showed her face in the parking lot.

                  She made a fast run in one day and got busted by the AM and the FEM (Front End Manager) before she could get through the checkout lane trying to smuggle a ham in the front of her pants. Needless to say, she got a ride downtown.

                  Other things she'd try to run out the door with included Newport cigarettes (this was way back in the 1990's when we kept the cigarette packs on racks that were also lane blockers between the registers) diapers, baby formula, et al. Pretty much anything she could grab and run with.

                  It wasn't too long after the ham incident that we heard she had finally gotten a vacation - paid for by the state. What did she do to earn this lengthy vacation?

                  She got caught in a parked car with a guy outside the federal courthouse smoking crack.

                  BTW, another item that was almost as hot as the meat at this particular store to steal was freezer baggies. Guess the shoplifters had to have something to put their stolen steaks in so they could get them out of the store and either home or to the nearest street corner.
                  Human Resources - the adult version of "I'm telling Mom." - Agent Anthony "Tony" DiNozzo (NCIS)

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                  • #24
                    Quoth auntiem View Post
                    On the shoplifting front - I used to work at an adult toy store and the thing that got stolen the most I honestly could never figure out how it was smuggled out of the store.
                    Some mysteries are best left unanswered, my friend.

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                    • #25
                      Quoth auntiem View Post
                      I have a cheese drawer that occasionally will share the space with bacon.
                      There's always room for bacon ^_^
                      "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
                      "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
                      "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
                      "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
                      "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
                      "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
                      Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
                      "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

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                      • #26
                        Quoth auntiem View Post
                        On the shoplifting front - I used to work at an adult toy store and the thing that got stolen the most I honestly could never figure out how it was smuggled out of the store.
                        Blow up dolls ? Lol.
                        Dammit !! ~ Jack Bauer

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                        • #27
                          Quoth Lace Neil Singer View Post
                          Back when I was on checkouts, there was a meat thief; she stole a load of reduced tickets and put them on two large sides of beef. I got suspicious and called for a supervisor and the woman took off out the door, leaving her shopping behind. She'd gone to the bakery, stolen the reduce stickers and stuck them on the beef.

                          ...
                          We have see a recent rash of attempted (and a few successful) thefts of reduced stickers from various departments. We now are all very carefully to fully affix and press on the stickers so if they try to peel them off they will usually rip.

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                          • #28
                            Quoth mattm04 View Post
                            We have see a recent rash of attempted (and a few successful) thefts of reduced stickers from various departments. We now are all very carefully to fully affix and press on the stickers so if they try to peel them off they will usually rip.
                            Regarding the stickers, at my previous job, we originally had the reduced stickers where you could handwrite them and stick them over the barcode. Of course this would result in people trying to pull a fast one on us.

                            Eventually they switched over to barcodes where not only was the price on there, but it was actually LABELLED with what the item was. So if it was a big bag of prawns and the label said "chicken fillet" then chances are, you would receive some new jewellery
                            The best professors are mad scientists! -Zoom

                            Now queen of USSR-Land...

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                            • #29
                              Quoth mharbourgirl View Post
                              Cheese may not be so strange a thing to shoplift, going by the results of a study I read recently. Did you know that cheese activates the same receptors in your brain that heroin does? Food for thought.
                              Yes, Americans are literally addicted to cheese. I guess the theory is that mammal babies cry for milk not necessarily because of hunger, but more out of addiction. It ensures they'll feed and keep the population going.
                              "Is it hot in here to you? It's very warm, isn't it?"--Nero, probably

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                              • #30
                                So, if a woman smuggles meat in her pants, does that give her a moose knuckle instead of a camel toe?

                                Personally, I eat cheese with anything. I love cheese. Good Lord, I'd have a cheese orgy if I could.

                                And for a story.

                                Once upon a time when I was just a 16-17 year old checker at the local PickNBoogers, a woman got busted for changing labels on meats. She tried to put the price for a pound of ground beef on steak (ouch).

                                Bonus, though, she was held and questioned by police in a room not far from the break room, so we all got to hear her pity party story.

                                Though, what was more entertaining than her plight to get steak for the price of ground chuck was her outfit. Dear Lord.....I don't know who let her out of the house like that. She had on an oversized Tweety bird sweater with pink leggings on, and this was in the early 2000s, so the awful trend of skin tight leggings and oversized shirts hadn't quite reared its ugly head back yet.
                                You really need to see a neurologist. - Wagegoth

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