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I am not honey, sweetie, babydoll!

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  • #31
    I get 'honey' 'sugar' 'sweetie' all the time at work but I don't mind, I'm deeply southern and I've been known to call them shug and babee and chere like the good cajun I am. No ones taken offense yet that I know of.
    "No, I will not poop a shopping cart out for you." - Irving Patrick Freleigh

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    • #32
      Quoth Stryker One View Post
      I guess it's better than: "Hey! You! Carbon Unit!"
      Somehow this reminds me of the time a friend of mine who works in the bakery of my store had a guy try to get her attention by yelling "Hey! You! Bakery Girl! I need help!"
      "...WHY DO YOU TEMPT WHAT LITTLE FAITH IN HUMANITY I HAVE!?!" ~ Kalga

      "DO NOT ENRAGE THE MIGHTY SKY DRAGON." ~ Gravekeeper

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      • #33
        I think there are a few lines that can be crossed with this one... I don't mind it when older ladies or some older gentlemen do it (as others have said, because it's their nature). It pisses me off when younger people do it, though, as it usually sounds disrespectful and condescending. I also hate it when it's used so much that it sounds absolutely disingenuous; I had a customer a couple days ago who practically used "honey" as a form of punctuation, and it was soooo annoying and seemed so fake. Plus, it shows a lack of creativity. comes up to register. Oh, hi honey! Hands me her credit card to be processed, I hand it back Thanks, honey! handed her bags Thanks, honey! handed her receipt Thanks so much, honey!

        That's seriously what happened. I wanted to slap her.

        I also don't like it when people call me by my name, unless I'm familiar with them. Some customers that come in all the time know my name (or use non-creepy pet names, like an older gentleman that I see often who calls me "kiddo"--which I think is adorable), and that's fine. I know them, we have some semblance of a social relationship. If someone just uses my name out of the blue, it irks me. Obviously, it makes us sound like we're buddies. Most of the time, I've found, it makes the person doing it sound like a car salesperson and I just want to ask them what they're trying to sell me because it's used with a certain (irritating, condescending, whatever) tone.

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        • #34
          I use pet names, sometimes. As a sub I'm always in a new classroom, and a few times the teachers will ot have the students' names tape to the desk, so if I want a student's attention, and have not yet committed his or her name to memory (it happens a lot with the trouble makers) I will say, "Hon, are you sure you want to do that?"
          Is it insanity to reason with the voices in your head or to ignore them and hope they go away on their own? - Hod from Brat-halla

          "You're the nicest evil person I know" one of my managers to me

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          • #35
            One problem with saying a name on a name tag is saying it properly. Consider the case of Mr. Dumass.
            "I don't have to be petty. The Universe does that for me."

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            • #36
              I noticed when I was in Scotland that they use "deerie" and "love" a lot. But it was always in a way that they seemed concerned about you, not trying to put you in your place. That, I found absolutely charming.

              Quoth Stryker One View Post
              I guess it's better than: "Hey! You! Carbon Unit!"
              I'd love to have that on a name tag, actually!

              Quoth Andara Bledin View Post
              Gah. It's rare that I will put up with being addressed as 'honey' or the like. I had a flight attendant do that to me once because I was a teen, and it really annoyed the heck out of me.
              That's it exactly. It's completely dependent on the tone. I'd get some LOLs at Dillard's that would call me "honey" or "sweetheart", but I totally didn't mind because they were sweet little old ladies!

              Quoth calulu View Post
              chere like the good cajun I am.
              I noticed the judge on "Bones" using that last night! I did look at one of my co-workers the other day and ask, "What the hell are you talking about, chere?" (I've got a BA in French and slip into it sometimes.)


              Something else that was bugging me today:

              I answer the phone by saying "Thank you for calling WTC, this is <Queen of England in late 19th century>, how may I direct your call?"
              Invariably, the other person would say, "Hi Queen! How are you?" like they've known me for years....while I'm thinking, "Who the hell is this?"
              It's floating wicker propelled by fire!

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              • #37
                I spend a lot (like...a LOT) of time in gay bars. All of my friends are queer. I'm blaming the fact that I use pet names CONSTANTLY on that. it's always honey, darling, dear, love with me. I'm sure it annoys some people, but damnit I'm cute!

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                • #38
                  I hate pet names as well, but I hate them slightly less coming from very old people, because I know they talk that way to everyone and have been doing so since before I was born. I have consulted with all of my coworkers on this and it is very clear that the women on my shift are called by pet names and gender based terms of respect much more often than the men are. I would personally say that about 70% of the pet names/ma'am/miss I get come from men who sound in their 40s to 50s, with another 10% each coming from women in the same age bracket, elderly people, and younger people of both genders. I find it to be much more of a "putting in place" in that context than a term of respect or endearment.


                  My absolute least favorite term is "Miss." It is not my title and it is a term used for young, unmarried girls, and only used in a very condescending manner.


                  The most annoying thing to me is that I would say something if anyone outside of a diner called me any of these outside of work, but I am required to put up with it during work.

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                  • #39
                    Where I used to work there was a lady who used the word "Love". But it never sounded natural, and she usually said it with a condescending tone to the customers. Another girl started saying it, too, and I didn't want to mention how fake it sounded, but it did.

                    I don't mind being called dear, as long as it's just instead of a name. I don't like it when it's being said snotty. I don't like Sweetie, Kiddo or the name of a coworker. I really don't like Kiddo, that is a word that only my grandpa uses for me, and it feels wrong when creepy pornography guy says it.

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                    • #40
                      Quoth marasbaras View Post

                      Quoth Anthony K. S. View Post
                      such as "sir," although some people do dislike being called that, too.
                      If a man objects to be called "sir", too bad for him. Too bad for the whiny puke. "Oh, WAH, someone is trying to show me a little respect, I hate that."
                      Quoth RecoveringKinkoid View Post
                      Yeah, I"m right there with you on that one. Same goes for "Ma'am."

                      Well, as I said, I don't mind being called "sir" . . .

                      (Just for the record, though, I would object to being called "ma'am," for reasons that I hope are obvious. )

                      But I have known a few people who dislike being called "sir" or "ma'am."

                      To be fair, though, they aren't objecting to somebody showing them a sign of respect. It really has nothing to do with that.

                      They just don't like it because it makes them feel old. Something like that, anyway.

                      Oh, well . . .


                      Quoth Pagan View Post
                      I answer the phone by saying "Thank you for calling WTC, this is <Queen of England in late 19th century>, how may I direct your call?"
                      Invariably, the other person would say, "Hi Queen! How are you?" like they've known me for years....while I'm thinking, "Who the hell is this?"

                      Oh, I've had to deal with somebody like that, too.

                      I was at my cash register, and a customer comes up with a purchase. I hear a very cheerful voice say, "Hi, Anthony, how are you doing?"

                      I look up, expecting to see a friend, co-worker, or at least somebody I know . . . And stood there, completely perplexed by the fact that the person in front of me was somebody I had never seen before.

                      She apparently saw my confusion, because she pointed to my nametag and said, "It's right there," as a way of explanation.

                      [Cue the standard mental effort required to suppress my irritation . . .]

                      It's bad enough when strangers address me by name, but it's even worse when they talk to me as if we're good friends.

                      To make matters worse, she was chattering endlessly during the entire transaction . . . and not even about anything that mattered . . .

                      "Italian name, huh, Anthony?"

                      (I'm Asian, which I suppose is why she thought that that was noteworthy.)

                      "I bet you like spaghetti a lot, right?"

                      And so on . . .

                      It required more than a little willpower, but I managed to smile and remain polite to her during the entire transaction, and wished her a good day as she left . . .

                      . . . There were quite a few other things that I would have really liked to say to her instead . . .

                      <Sigh>


                      But on a more cheerful note :

                      Quoth edible_hat View Post
                      Quoth Anthony K. S. View Post
                      Customer : I'm looking for a book called [Insert Title].
                      I'm going to write a book called Insert Title now. Under the psudonym "Guy Whowrites".
                      Oh, please do!

                      I do work in a bookstore, after all, so when your book is released, I'll be able to tell everyone that I was the one who inspired it!
                      “Excuse me. Is this bracelet real jade?”
                      “Ma’am, this is a thrift shop. The tag on the bracelet says $1.50. It comes with a matching mood ring. What do you think?”
                      “I don’t know.”
                      “Yes, it’s real.”

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                      • #41
                        I'll start here by owning up to the fact that I not only use pet names like hon/honey and darlin, but I'm not even Southern. In addition, my dad and I both commonly ask for a name from anyone helping us, mostly so it can be used for either getting their attention, "records management," especially when making reservations and such, or passing on a compliment. We both will try to avoid using it condescendingly, but I feel better using a name (which I asked for or verified from a nametag) than a "hey you!"


                        That being admitted, I decide whether or not to be annoyed by the use of either pet names or my name based on the tone, implied intentions, and such. If I can tell you're trying to imply familiarity in hopes of getting "a good deal," you can go suck an egg. However, if, like my fave CSM Homer, you're simply a sweet old Southern gent, I won't mind it a bit. Don't threaten, act creepy, or be condescending. If you're genuine, it generally shows.


                        And I can vouch that the best way to fight this is to fight fire with fire - just start using endearments right back, being syrupy sweet the whole time - an amped-up version of being uber-nice to piss off an SC.
                        Last edited by myswtghst; 05-21-2008, 06:31 AM.
                        "In the end I was the mean girl/or somebody's in between girl"~Neko Case

                        “You don't need many words if you already know what you're talking about.” ~William Stafford

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                        • #42
                          First off, your avatar of him crying, along with asking AM I TOO SENSTIVE is just priceless.


                          2: No, your not. People shouldn't say names like that.

                          3: I'm one to talk. I just call everyone, man and woman, bro and dudes.

                          4: Our manager has never enforced wearing nametags. She doesn't wear one herself. Her opinion is we don't know customers names for the most part, and they don't need to know ours. Our names are all on recipts. If they ask, we tell, but no wearing name tags.
                          Military Spouse Support.
                          http://www.customerssuck.com/board/group.php?groupid=45
                          Plaidman's Minions: Telecom_Goddess: Dungeon Minion

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                          • #43
                            I'm not required to wear a name tag(the clip things don't work well in the cold) but what I tell them depends on the customer. if they're pissed off, I'd probably tell them that they can describe me and the manager will know who they mean. however there are some who comment on how polite and helpful i've been and ask for my name, and at least some of them are probably going to tell management how much i kick ass, so I tell them my name. the ones who ask just to ask, i'll tell them if they don't seem dangerous

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                            • #44
                              Quoth Plaidman View Post
                              4: Our manager has never enforced wearing nametags. She doesn't wear one herself. Her opinion is we don't know customers names for the most part, and they don't need to know ours. Our names are all on recipts. If they ask, we tell, but no wearing name tags.
                              I like your manager. At least for that, anyway.

                              ^-.-^
                              Faith is about what you do. It's about aspiring to be better and nobler and kinder than you are. It's about making sacrifices for the good of others. - Dresden

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                              • #45
                                Quoth Evil Queen View Post
                                At least it's better (to me) to be called "Sweetie" then to be called "Juno" (like the movie. In the past two weeks, some two dozen people have told me I look like the girl that plays Juno. I know that, stop telling me this!).
                                I get Donna ALL the Fing time, because apparently I'm a "dead ringer" for Donna from That 70s Show.
                                It bothers me whenever someone mentions it, because I sometimes hear it several times a week, or several times a DAY.
                                I also get Kirsten Dunst in Spiderman and Kari Byron from Mythbusters.
                                So basically any chick with red hair, light eyes and pale skin.

                                The reason I don't like customers using my name is because they always pronounce it wrong.

                                Think of it this way: if an employee used your first name after seeing it on your credit card you would likely be put off. In fact, most businesses discourage this because of the fact that it makes customers uncomfortable.
                                So why, if it makes customers uncomfortable, is it alright for them to do the exact same thing to us?

                                I used a customers name ONCE at my first job (because I was naive and not yet jaded :P) and was reamed out by them and told it was "none of my business" what their name is and I was being very rude for using it.

                                I know the logic of treating others how you would want to be treated is often the best course of action, and I'm a strong advocate for that practice, but in situations like this I think what it comes down to is the fact that you never know what is going to make someone uncomfortable, so it's best to go with other pleasantries than risk stepping over a line with someone.

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