things to say on last day of work...

[Shironu-Akaineko]

To rude big boobied customer: "Oh hi! The wolves that raised you just called and they're very, very disapointed in you."

To rude old customer :"Look lady, ever thought of going Jehovah's witness? Christmas seems to ram its tree right up your ass every year. Jehovah's don't celebrate it. Would do WONDERS for your mood."

To rude old customer's daughter: "Yeah, about that game that was announced to be online only, the clerk who sold it to you told you it was online only, the big selling point was that it was online only, it says in giant font on the box that it's online only and you got surprised it was online only? Congratulations, you're an idiot." *hands little trophy*

To counter leech, old version :"Does it ever occur to you that if I give one worded answer while typing, while you keep trying to maintain a conversation I want no part of that maybe, MAYBE I'm working?"

To counter leech, young version:"No. Go away. You share way too much TMI about your life with me. You can't seem to realize that telling me you got raped by your dad as your introduction and then continuing on with how you sleep in the same bed as your sister are highly uncomfortable topics to discuss."

That's all off the top of my head. I have nothing to say to my immediate manager who's an absolute PRINCE with me, or my coworkers who treat me like one of the guys.

[snugglegirl05]

I would say this to the parking office staff, but only after I was working at an entirely different job at a different company not related to the parking industry.

Being bitched at by all 3 of you for something that is not my problem is not fun. *This includes the fact that customers were able to pull a ticket at the ticket machine when I use the clicker to raise the entrance gate to visitor parking, the fact that someone bypassed the visitor parking booth & straight to the entrance gate to the faculty/staff garage when visitor parking was being renovated, the fact that a university employee's access card was not working at the card reader at the exit gate to the faculty/staff garage. The parking office is over that garage, & yes, the parking office staff has the ability to raise the exit gate to the faculty/staff garage, & so on*

I know it is not fun to receive complaints from customers who could not park in visitor parking when it is reserved, but that is not my problem. The customer chose to complain to visitor parking. I am a parking attendant. My job is not to resolve complaints. That is the responsibility of the Director of Parking & Transportation. So do not get mad at me when that happens, & do not take your frustration out on me.

Bitching at me does not make me want to go out of my way to help the parking office staff.

Have any of you ever thought to find out what is really causing a problem before bitching at me? I have lost count of how many times this has happened.

For Andrea *not her real name*, the Director of Parking & Transportation...having a pleasant attitude is much better than having a bitchy attitude. Please consider having a pleasant attitude.

[jedimaster91]

"Doc, lemme explain to you the meaning of STAT. While it is short for the latin statim--meaning immediately--the medical definition has morphed into 'OMG, right farking NOW or this person might die.' It does not mean 'Do it now because I'm the doctor and I said so' nor does it mean 'I am too important to wait for results, so do it now.' So if the patient's life does not depend on the result of whatever test you want, don't order it STAT."

[Redbeard]

"No sir, we are not a monoploy. If you paid tens of millions of dollars to run hundreds of miles of cable lines throughout the state, pay for licensing, negotiate a contract with the channels, pay the FCC for MORE licensing to be an ISP and a phone provider then you can compete with us. now pay your $%^%#$ bill and leave me alone, you putz."