Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

The Numbnut chronicles

Collapse
This topic is closed.
X
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • #31
    He had only one shift this week, and his name was crossed out on the schedule with somebody else's name penciled in.

    He called in sick on his one shift last week.

    I have seen him in street clothes going up to the managers' offices a couple times though. Could this mean CBFH is leaving? I hope it does but I am not holding my breath.

    Stay tuned....
    Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

    "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

    Comment


    • #32
      No real news, except lamentably it looks like his hours will start to increase now, because I will be needed to stock trucks more often now. (we just had somebody retire, and somebody else will be hanging it up this fall if not sooner).

      Oh well, maybe more chances to him to hang himself.

      He never was trained on the forklift.

      He was, however, trained to empty the bailer. The one and only time he made a bale though, two of the wires snapped and the guy wouldn't take the bale because it wasn't safe to transport, so we had to haul it back into the backroom, cut apart the remaining wires, throw the cardboard back in the bailer and re-do the bale.
      Last edited by Rapscallion; 10-14-2009, 12:21 PM.
      Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

      "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

      Comment


      • #33
        Uh oh, it appears I misspoke in my last post. Numbnuts/CBFH actually emptied the baler twice. The second time he forgot to put the hook on the ram to eject the bale.

        Result: We had to go grab the forklift and try to jam the forks into the tightly-compacted cardboard, then set the bale on a pallet and then try to get the forks out of the bale. This resulted in the bale being half on the pallet and half out.

        Then, when we tried to get the bale outside, it fell off the pallet. Repeat the process.

        Sad thing is I called it. I mentioned to a co-worker while Numbnuts was working on the bale "Bet he forgets something, like ejecting it."

        Numbnuts is no longer allowed anywhere near the baler, unless we toss him in it.
        Last edited by Rapscallion; 10-14-2009, 12:21 PM.
        Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

        "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

        Comment


        • #34
          Chaos, confusion, murder. Just another normal, busy day at work. We had a big truck to do and Numbnuts was on carryouts and being his usual slothlike self.

          Every time he was paged for carryouts today, the cashiers had to call him at least twice. He was so slow I had a guy come up to me while I was filling aspirins demanding to know where his gas grill was, because he'd been waiting for about 15 minutes. I told him Numbnuts was getting it (Probably a lie).

          Five minutes later...oh fuck, Numbnuts is paging me. What does the little fucksauage want this time?....

          Me: Yeah?
          NN: Can you do a carryout for me?
          Me: No. I have to work on the truck. You know I can't help you when I'm working truck.
          NN: But I got this guy who's waiting for a gas grill and he's getting kinda mad. What am I supposed to tell him?
          Me: Why don't you tell him he doesn't have it yet because you're trying to get me to do your job for you instead of sacking up and doing your own carryouts?

          *click

          As he walked by with the grill, he gave me the stink eye. I told him "What, you think you got all day here? I thought the guy was waiting."

          I tell you, that kid pisses me off sometimes every day.
          Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

          "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

          Comment


          • #35
            We have a big reset going on in housewares this week, with just about everything in the department being moved to different aisles and having new planograms.

            Numbnuts worked 12 to 8 yesterday. When we finished up at 1:30 we asked him to do the following whenever he wasn't doing carryouts:
            • Backstock the merchandise from the re-worked aisles that didn't fit in the new planograms (this amounted to about a flatbed and a half, so not a huge amount, plus most of it was bigger boxed appliances)
            • Take down some roaster ovens, ice cream makers and crock pots that were still on a high rise and backstock those, so we could set those aisle today.


            Came in today to find the backstock still sitting on the flatbed carts in the backroom, and stuff still on the highrises. It took me all of about half an hour to get this all put away, but it's still something I shouldn't have to do.

            Yeah, this was reported to management as well. There is no way Numbnuts was so bogged down in carryouts he couldn't find any time to do that in the six and a half hours since we asked him to do it.
            Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

            "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

            Comment


            • #36
              There is no joy in mudville....

              for Numbnuts has officially been inflicted upon us for one year.

              Today, at the team huddle, he was presented with his certificate for his one-year service anniversary, and a firm hearty handshake from the store manager while everybody else gave him a round of applause.

              Everybody else but me, that is. Instead I observed a moment of silence.

              I figured if I clapped I'd start laughing or crying and that would be most impolite.
              Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

              "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

              Comment


              • #37
                Wherein Numbnuts Almost Becomes Posterized (Or At Least The Starring Role In A Training Video)

                Apparently, yesterday Numbnuts had to retrieve an item from a top shelf in backstock for a carryout. Instead of getting a step stool, or even a ladder, like a normal person would, he decided to stand on a flatbed cart to reach the item on the top shelf.

                A manager happened to walk by and caught Numbnuts in the act.

                Manager: Numbnuts, you know you're not supposed to stand on that cart like that, right? You could fall and get hurt.
                Numbnuts:Uhhh, yeah. Huh huh.

                And then he continued to diddle around with items on the top shelf, still standing on the cart.

                Does it make a bad person to secretly wish the cart suddenly moved and Numbnuts fell off? And that this would happen in front of a security camera so we can watch the tape over and over again?
                Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

                "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

                Comment


                • #38
                  Some days, I just wanna smack Numbnuts. And by "some days", I mean "every day he's working."

                  We came in to work today to find the truck crew left us a huge mess. Pallets of bulk and furniture sitting around needing to be put away, pallets of paper products and laundry detergent needing to be put away, pallets of big bags of pet food needing to be put away. I sincerely hope somebody called in sick or didn't show up because the truck was small enough they have no excuse otherwise.

                  We decided we would have Numbnuts do furniture when he came in. We mentioned this to the closing manager (who, incidentally, is the manager Numbnuts directly reports to), and she said in a joking manner "Yeah, he can get that done...in about a month. Ha ha!" Mind you this is pretty much her response every time we tell her about the things Numbnuts either has or has not done--to laugh it off.

                  He came in and we told him to get started on furniture. He started on paper and detergent instead. In the 2 hours and 45 minutes between Numbnuts coming in and me leaving for the day, he manager to finish half a pallet of paper.

                  And then--I stopped in the little boys room and heard somebody flush one of the toilets. It glugged a bit and then I heard water dripping on the floor. The guy in the stall came out, saw me, and said "Somebody must've plugged it up." After finishing up my little boys room activities, I stopped at the service desk and mentioned the blocked-up toilet, and they called Numbnuts to come clean it up.

                  Stopped in the bathroom just before I left for the day, and the toilet was still overflowing onto the floor. Water was coming close to seeping under the door. So I stopped at the service desk and let them know about it again.

                  And it wasn't as if there were many carryouts today. They only came in fast and furious during a half hour stretch--when Numbnuts was getting his yearly review and raise. Of course, in true Numbnuts fashion, he didn't tell anybody he was gone so the floor people ended up running their asses off with big, multiple-item carryouts.
                  Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

                  "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

                  Comment


                  • #39
                    Oh, here's one, doesn't directly involve Numbnuts though:

                    Had a lady come up to me today asking for a desktop-sized punching bag. Supposedly she had a friend who got one, and they said it came from one of our stores. It wasn't anything I remember us ever carrying.

                    I sincerely regret Numbnuts was not working today; otherwise I'd call him out to the salesfloor and let the customer relieve her stress on him.
                    Last edited by Rapscallion; 10-14-2009, 12:24 PM.
                    Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

                    "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

                    Comment


                    • #40
                      Mua ha ha ha ha.....

                      Got recruited to unload the tree and shrub truck for lawn and garden today. Took the full racks of plants off the trailer with the forklift, and then loaded on empty racks we had lolligagging behind the store.

                      When I was finished with this, I drove the forklift back inside, and found my path obstructed by Numbnuts, who was standing around staring at his scanner again.

                      I waited for it to dawn on Numbnuts that there was somebody in a motorized vehicle larger than himself needing to get down the aisle and he needed to move. No such luck. After about a minute of Numbnuts still standing in my way staring at his scanner, I laid on the horn.

                      BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP

                      First time I've ever seen him jump and move quickly! Alas I did not notice any fresh stains in the butt region of his pants.

                      He got all pissy with me "You didn't have to do that!"
                      Me: Ummm, I kinda felt I had too. Did you not hear me coming behind you? The forklift does make noise, ya know.
                      Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

                      "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

                      Comment


                      • #41
                        I really don't want to type this....

                        I seriously don't....But I have to share this tragic news:

                        Numbnuts is now officially forklift trained.



                        I told you this was bad.

                        The dumb fuck tried picking up a cart full of stuff and it never occurred to him to tip the forks back. Everything went sliding off the cart onto the ground.

                        So if I end up in a coma with a steel beam and shards of fluorescent light bulbs in my head or with a starring role in a new Stapplerfahrer Klaus film, you know why.

                        Management gave him written test, which you can pretty much copy chapter and verse out of the training book. Our supervisor was the one brave enough to have him hop on the forklift and drive it.

                        She told me he did okay.

                        Regardless, he never should have survived long enough to be able to be forklift trained.
                        Last edited by Rapscallion; 10-14-2009, 12:24 PM.
                        Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

                        "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

                        Comment


                        • #42
                          An epic rant is forthcoming. There will be much profanity. Those with weak constitutions should go check out LOLcats or something










                          last chance to bail......don't say I didn't warn you.....














                          Numbnuts is, among other things, the tragic result of a miserably-misaimed handjob. If I had a kid like him, I'd spend my days beating my head against a wall. That is whenever I wasn't wondering if he really was my child ("We used to have a mailman who'd always put our mail in the birdbath. You don't suppose he....nahhh, couldn't be. Or could it?")

                          Numbnuts started his shift at 8:30 this morning. He was told to get to work filling and backstocking paper and detergent (Lots of it came in on the truck last night). We stock people ended up doing 85% of it, because as usual he spent his day fucking around and ignoring his carryout calls. One call went over 5 fucking times without an answer, and I had the service desk people asking me where he was when I was trying to return my printer. Then finally he showed up to answer the call.

                          And again--a few hours later. Somebody from the floor called him for a carryout and had to repeat themselves 4 times before he answered. The entire time he was just wandering around like a jackass, right in view of the person trying to get a hold of him.

                          Then finally, we told him to backstock a pallet of furniture that didn't get done last night. Our supervisor ended up tearing him a new one--she's not somebody you want to make mad. We busted out fucking asses on this truck, that's the least he could've done.

                          Did he finish all the furniture? Fuck no! In the meantime I was backstocking shopping carts full of new school supplies--a shit job if there ever was one (Backstocking little boxes of pens by having to open them up and scan the pens inside because the UPC on the box doesn't scan correctly is what I envision hell to be like). It took me two hours to finish. In that time, Numbnuts put away 4 pieces of furniture. Half the pallet was still sitting there. He had one carryout in that time. So I got to finish my day by shlepping heavy goddamn pieces of furniture around the backroom while Numbnuts continued to do fuck-all.

                          On Monday, we are going to be talking to the store manager about Numbnuts. He will no doubt just tell Numbnuts' manager to keep an eye on him, and she'll laugh it off like she laughs off every complaint about Numbnuts. Real nice. Laugh at the people who are the only ones who get any fucking shit done around here. I like that.

                          Once again I see hard work and dedication to your job are not rewarded, and laziness pays off now and forever.

                          So in summation...does anybody know a good place to dump a body?
                          Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

                          "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

                          Comment


                          • #43
                            Wherein I pwn Numbnuts yet again

                            Well, this morning we discussed Numbnuts' shenanigans over the weekend to our manager, who kept saying "I can't stand him either", and "Something has to be done about him" in that hushed tone of voice that says "I'm as serious as a heart attack." We specifically chose her because we know she'll listen to us and act on our concerns.

                            She indicated she will let Numbnuts' manager and the store manager know of our concerns, which as I mentioned before will not do much good. Store manager is about as hands-off as a manager can be, which is good at times but the downside is that he doesn't want to be bothered with complaints about co-workers. And Numbnuts' manager is doing her best to cover for him for some reason.

                            But anyhow, I promised you pwnage, so here it is:

                            Numbnuts came in for his shift at 10:30. At about 11:30 a cashier paged for a carryout twice before paging a floor employee to do the carryout. Evidently Numbnuts called up this cashier and told her "I can't get this carryout, call Floor Employee to do it instead."

                            Then our manager paged for Numbnuts. I positioned myself near the phone she was at, to eavesdrop on her conversation with him:

                            "Hey, where are you right now? Oh, you have another carryout? I didn't hear it paged. Okay then, bye bye."

                            I went back to HBA to fill some merchandise I pulled and found Numbnuts at the magazine rack, reading some video game magazine.

                            Me: What the hell are you doing?
                            NN: Reading this magazine.
                            Me: I heard Manager talking to you, and you told her you were doing a carryout, which evidently was why Floor Employee was asked to do the last one. And here you are just slacking off again. Unless you want me to tell my supervisor(same one who screamed at him Saturday) and Manager what you were really doing, you'll go to the backroom, tell Floor Employee to go back to what she was doing before she was called to do YOUR carryout, and do that carryout yourself.
                            NN: Alright, I'm going!

                            Guess what? I ratted him out anyway! My manager paged him up to her office, and when he came back down he was moving faster and answering his calls on the first page, so she obviously said something to him.
                            Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

                            "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

                            Comment


                            • #44
                              I told my supervisor we should all go complain to store manager and Numbnuts' manager, because even though our manager can easily do that, our frustrations just get lost in the translation.

                              Basically, the issue seems to be the managers who want to get rid of Numbnuts do not have the authority to do so. And the managers who do don't want to pull the trigger.

                              I really think the only way Numbnuts gets fired is if he starts stealing, slaps a customer, or starts sexually harassing people so they go to corporate HR.
                              Last edited by Rapscallion; 10-14-2009, 12:26 PM.
                              Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

                              "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

                              Comment


                              • #45
                                The TGIF trifecta of suck

                                As I mentioned someplace else, Numbnuts was asked to help out and fill and backstock school supplies from the truck yesterday. He didn't do it. The carts were sitting in the backroom waiting for me to attend to.

                                Then sometime yesterday he was asked to clean out the breakroom refrigerator. Basically one of those bitch jobs we give him to make him go away for a while. Of course he had to ignore his carryout calls while failing to do any cleaning, and finally a manager came up to tell him he still had to do his carryouts.

                                Numbnuts' response: "Have the cashiers call me at (extension for breakroom phone). I can't hear them up here."

                                Can't or don't want to? I can hear the PA just fine up there.

                                Then he was asked to carry up the big boxes of paper for the copier that came in on Thursday's truck. Didn't do that either, so guess who got to turn his legs to jelly and his muscles to pain lugging 9 big boxes of copier paper up the stairs?
                                Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

                                "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

                                Comment

                                Working...
                                X