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  • #16
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    Quoth magician5 View Post
    I'd add a few:

    The décor is left over from a restaurant of some entirely different cuisine that went out of business 3 restaurants ago
    That is about 50% of them.

    Quoth magician5 View Post
    That "hole in the wall" restaurant actually has one or more holes in the wall
    Not a restaurant, but I had to buy food from one store that literally you had to enter thru a hole in the wall.

    Quoth magician5 View Post
    Your car may or may not be there when you leave
    Toronto is in Canada. Not only is my car always where I left it, it does not get scratched up like has happened to me multiple times in the US.

    Quoth magician5 View Post
    The restaurant is located on the back side of a strip mall that also hosts several other restaurants of the same ethnicity, plus a fabric store and lots of little groceries selling cel phone cards and money orders to send funds back home, and several immigration attorneys
    Slightly different type of malls in Canada too, it usually is in front of the mall. The other stores are just like you say but I rarely see any lawyer offices.

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    • #17
      Quoth cindybubbles View Post
      It's like ordering a lap dance at a Chuck E. Cheese restaurant.
      Now some people might like the Rat* doing a lap dance for them. I wouldn't order one just in case he is willing to do so.

      (So named by my favorite niece when asked what she liked about Chuck E. Cheese. "I like the Rat.")

      Quoth Seshat View Post
      Order off the menu, people. It's not that hard!
      For me the phrase "order off the menu" has come to mean ordering something that is not on the menu, as in ordering an off-menu item. The practice was introduced to me by a restaurant owner. English is such a fun language.
      "I don't have to be petty. The Universe does that for me."

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      • #18
        IA - Indeed. I think Seshat was referring to ordering food "off the menu" as in "something actually present," rather than "off the menu" in the sense you mentioned (read: "secret menu" items)...just to be confusing. Just gotta love them contranyms ^_^ (I suppose that counts more as a contranymic figure of speech, though)

        It's like ordering a Happy Meal at an adults-only establishment.
        Well, it would not surprise me at all if some adults-only places had something you can order that's called a "Happy Meal"...I just don't think it would include Coke and some apple slices...Caramel and a ...toy...? Maybe
        "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
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        "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
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        "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
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        • #19
          Quoth magician5 View Post
          I'd add a few:

          The décor is left over from a restaurant of some entirely different cuisine that went out of business 3 restaurants ago

          That "hole in the wall" restaurant actually has one or more holes in the wall

          Your car may or may not be there when you leave

          The restaurant is located on the back side of a strip mall that also hosts several other restaurants of the same ethnicity, plus a fabric store and lots of little groceries selling cel phone cards and money orders to send funds back home, and several immigration attorneys
          It also helps if the restaurant is located either in a gas station or in a decommissioned Dairy Queen. At least, that's a good sign that you're going to get good ethnic food in the American South. The very best Thai food in my city, for example can be found at two separate restaurants that rent space in gas stations.
          Drive it like it's a county car.

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          • #20
            Quoth cindybubbles View Post
            It's like ordering a lap dance at a Chuck E. Cheese restaurant.
            They could always try ordering a lap dance at Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria.

            See how that works out for them.
            PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

            There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!

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            • #21
              Heh, there's a place in my hometown called Wiggly Worms.

              I must encourage my partner to order a lapdance there next time we're back in town (it's a kids play restaurant sort of akin to Chuck-E-Cheese)
              The best professors are mad scientists! -Zoom

              Now queen of USSR-Land...

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              • #22
                Quoth EricKei View Post
                Well, it would not surprise me at all if some adults-only places had something you can order that's called a "Happy Meal"...I just don't think it would include Coke and some apple slices...Caramel and a ...toy...? Maybe
                We once stayed at an adult motel in Reno on one of our cross country trips to Fresno ... we got the cheap room - hot tub, heart shaped bed ... they had one that was $25 more. We peeked in on the way out in the morning since housekeeping had the door open. We couldn't see anything different in that room, so we asked when we dropped the key off. It has a gift basket of *stuff* that might be useful in an adult motel
                EVE Online: 99% of the time you sit around waiting for something to happen, but that 1% of action is what hooks people like crack, you don't get interviewed by the BBC for a WoW raid.

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                • #23
                  Quoth fireheart View Post
                  Heh, there's a place in my hometown called Wiggly Worms.

                  I must encourage my partner to order a lapdance there next time we're back in town (it's a kids play restaurant sort of akin to Chuck-E-Cheese)
                  My mom told me about her friend (in her 60s) who accidentally went to a bikini barista... I guess she didn't look at the name of the place, she was tired and saw "espresso" and then was like

                  For anyone unfamiliar, as the name suggests, it's a drive through coffee-shop which features scantily clad baristas. They are common in my state, I don't know if they are elsewhere.
                  Replace anger management with stupidity management.

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    Quoth notalwaysright View Post
                    For anyone unfamiliar, as the name suggests, it's a drive through coffee-shop which features scantily clad baristas. They are common in my state, I don't know if they are elsewhere.
                    Sounds like a hooters. (Speaking of which, apparently there are three in my currently adopted state. )

                    For a while, Queensland had bikini-clad "Meter Maids" (I don't know if these still exist) as shown here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Surfers...se_Meter_Maids

                    Although there was a furor in my home state when a place wanted to set up a massage parlour with bikini-clad girls acting as masseuses. That was the main furor. What most people missed was that at least in my home state (where prostitution is more or less illegal), prostitutes are commonly advertised as "massage girls" who will provide your customer with a happy ending
                    The best professors are mad scientists! -Zoom

                    Now queen of USSR-Land...

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                    • #25
                      My mom told me about her friend (in her 60s) who accidentally went to a bikini barista... I guess she didn't look at the name of the place, she was tired and saw "espresso" and then was like

                      For anyone unfamiliar, as the name suggests, it's a drive through coffee-shop which features scantily clad baristas. They are common in my state, I don't know if they are elsewhere.
                      Ohh, can I pick the baristas?? I know a couple of guys who work at local coffee places...

                      Oh, wait. They only do this with FEMALE baristas, amirite?
                      When you start at zero, everything's progress.

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                      • #26
                        Quoth MoonCat View Post
                        Ohh, can I pick the baristas?? I know a couple of guys who work at local coffee places...
                        Here's your song: "Taylor the Latte Boy"
                        I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
                        Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
                        Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.

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