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Its been an international nut fest this week. First the French Demon, now this nut job from Guatemala.
Long story short, guy ordered a massive order with a debit card. As per company policy, orders are not charged until they are shipped. As per other company policy, we make atleast one bulk authorisation when the order is placed to be sure the cust has the funds/credit limit to make the order. And as per credit card company policy, they make new authorizations for pieces of the same order that are charged at different times. In the US and Canada, this usually gets straightened out quickly enough, where it does not become a problem. Debit cards usually have extra funds tied up for a day, but it resolves itself quickly.
Not so in Guatemala. Their banks will hold authorizations for nearly 2 weeks apparently. Not our fault, not our problem.
So, this guy, hence forth known as CG (Crazy Guatemalan), has extra funds tied up in what is a normal transaction that is exacerbated by a quirk in the Guatemalan banking system. Despite being Guatemalan, and dealing with Guatemalan banks for a good part of his life, he did not think this could happen. So he goes to buy a plane ticket to come vacation in the lovely US of A. CG finds out that he can't use his debit card to do so. Here is where we actually come in.
CG calls, gets one of my reps, and is furious over this. Needless to say, he is transferred to me. And much fun ensued.
At the point I am picking up the conversation, I have exhausted all possible venues of solving the problem for CG. I have called our credit company, spoken with an accountant in accounting (Of all the places...), and even called CG's bank (Noone there spoke a lick of English). At this point I tell him we have to wait until tomorrow when the bank proper (Did I mention this was an after hours number?) is open or when one of our Spanish speaking reps is in.
Me: Sadistic little man
CG: Nutjob from south of the border.
CG: This is illegal. You have double charged me and I want this fixed. I am a lawyer!
Me: Sir, I have done everything we can now. We have to wait until tomorrow. I would fix this but I can't speak Spanish and your bank can't speak English. We cannot communicate.
CG: You did not need to do this. This is illegal! It is breaking international law known as *Spouts something unintelligable in latin which sounds alot like "Buyer Beware"*. I am going to get my cousin. He is a lawyer! He will take care of this! Because of you I am going to be delayed on my vacation! It's illegal here!
At this point, I have bent over backwards to try and fix something that is not our fault. I am truly tired of this bullshit and decide to make him pay. Think, he is calling from Guatemala. That is costing him a fortune. Normally I hang up at this point. Not today. He pissed me off after I went through all that trouble.
Me: Look, I have done everything I can to help you. We are physically unable to fix this at this hour. Now, if you wish to persist with these legal threats, I am going to terminate this call. You are going to have to get in touch with our legal department. You will not get your money for atleast 2 weeks. You won't have a vacation when you are done with this. It's your choice.
CG: ....
Me: ....
CG: Then I will call tomorrow and speak to your general manager. I am a lawyer!
Me: Sir, I am the manager. Anyone else you get is on the same level I am. Customer service stops at me and my ilk. There is noone who can help you now. And, with the threat of legal action, there is noone who will help you.
CG: But it is your fault I cannot go on vacation.
Me: Sir, we did not tell you to wait until the day of your flight to purchase the ticket. Your delay, while related to the authorization problem, is purely on your shoulders as you waited this long. Lastly, if you were a lawyer and thought you had a case, you would have saddled that legal pony of yours and tried to run us down already.
CG: ....
Me: ....
So we do this back and forth for a good, ooh, 45 minutes. On top of 45 minutes of me helping him. So lets recap his expenses.
Order : A few thousand
Long distance: Too god damn much to make sense.
Authorization: Duplicate order.
Had he listened to me, tomorrow he would have had the authorization taken care of, have had his long distance halved from current costs, had his plane ticket, and not been made to look like a nutball to the world at large.
Long story short, guy ordered a massive order with a debit card. As per company policy, orders are not charged until they are shipped. As per other company policy, we make atleast one bulk authorisation when the order is placed to be sure the cust has the funds/credit limit to make the order. And as per credit card company policy, they make new authorizations for pieces of the same order that are charged at different times. In the US and Canada, this usually gets straightened out quickly enough, where it does not become a problem. Debit cards usually have extra funds tied up for a day, but it resolves itself quickly.
Not so in Guatemala. Their banks will hold authorizations for nearly 2 weeks apparently. Not our fault, not our problem.
So, this guy, hence forth known as CG (Crazy Guatemalan), has extra funds tied up in what is a normal transaction that is exacerbated by a quirk in the Guatemalan banking system. Despite being Guatemalan, and dealing with Guatemalan banks for a good part of his life, he did not think this could happen. So he goes to buy a plane ticket to come vacation in the lovely US of A. CG finds out that he can't use his debit card to do so. Here is where we actually come in.
CG calls, gets one of my reps, and is furious over this. Needless to say, he is transferred to me. And much fun ensued.
At the point I am picking up the conversation, I have exhausted all possible venues of solving the problem for CG. I have called our credit company, spoken with an accountant in accounting (Of all the places...), and even called CG's bank (Noone there spoke a lick of English). At this point I tell him we have to wait until tomorrow when the bank proper (Did I mention this was an after hours number?) is open or when one of our Spanish speaking reps is in.
Me: Sadistic little man
CG: Nutjob from south of the border.
CG: This is illegal. You have double charged me and I want this fixed. I am a lawyer!
Me: Sir, I have done everything we can now. We have to wait until tomorrow. I would fix this but I can't speak Spanish and your bank can't speak English. We cannot communicate.
CG: You did not need to do this. This is illegal! It is breaking international law known as *Spouts something unintelligable in latin which sounds alot like "Buyer Beware"*. I am going to get my cousin. He is a lawyer! He will take care of this! Because of you I am going to be delayed on my vacation! It's illegal here!
At this point, I have bent over backwards to try and fix something that is not our fault. I am truly tired of this bullshit and decide to make him pay. Think, he is calling from Guatemala. That is costing him a fortune. Normally I hang up at this point. Not today. He pissed me off after I went through all that trouble.
Me: Look, I have done everything I can to help you. We are physically unable to fix this at this hour. Now, if you wish to persist with these legal threats, I am going to terminate this call. You are going to have to get in touch with our legal department. You will not get your money for atleast 2 weeks. You won't have a vacation when you are done with this. It's your choice.
CG: ....
Me: ....
CG: Then I will call tomorrow and speak to your general manager. I am a lawyer!
Me: Sir, I am the manager. Anyone else you get is on the same level I am. Customer service stops at me and my ilk. There is noone who can help you now. And, with the threat of legal action, there is noone who will help you.
CG: But it is your fault I cannot go on vacation.
Me: Sir, we did not tell you to wait until the day of your flight to purchase the ticket. Your delay, while related to the authorization problem, is purely on your shoulders as you waited this long. Lastly, if you were a lawyer and thought you had a case, you would have saddled that legal pony of yours and tried to run us down already.
CG: ....
Me: ....
So we do this back and forth for a good, ooh, 45 minutes. On top of 45 minutes of me helping him. So lets recap his expenses.
Order : A few thousand
Long distance: Too god damn much to make sense.
Authorization: Duplicate order.
Had he listened to me, tomorrow he would have had the authorization taken care of, have had his long distance halved from current costs, had his plane ticket, and not been made to look like a nutball to the world at large.
The name fits.
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