Wrong old man, wrong day

[chainedbarista]

that is awesome; we need to clone your dad, rk, and station him at all the workplaces here as a 'greeter.'

[XCashier]

Upon which this asshole goes "Why don't you go on back into the house?"

Which was the wrong thing to say, because evidently Dad got real calm and said "If I go inside, it will be for just a moment."

So at that point, the guy evidently realized what Dad had just said and hauled ass.

Your dad is full of WIN!

The arrogance of that other guy is just unbelievable...who the hell orders someone around when they're on the other person's property?!

A few years ago, I had to deal with a couple of pushy door-to-door salesmen who wouldn't go away. I finally had to call up my drama training (specifically voice projection) and bellow "GET OFF MY PROPERTY!!!" loud enough for the entire neighborhood to hear before those worthless assholes got the hint and left.

[MadMike]

Reminds me of a pest control guy who came to my door a while back. After I told him no politely three different ways, I finally got quite vocal about his need to disappear immediately. His reply? "You're rude."

Wow, a pest control guy who was being a pest? Ironic!

My mom and my stepdad live in a house out in the middle of nowhere. It's kind of like that island in the first Pirates of the Caribbean move -- it can only be found by those who know where it is, or however that went. Their house is at the end of a long driveway (about a quarter of a mile), which intersects a private dirt road about a half a mile in. Oh, and there are "No Trespassing" sings all along the road. It doesn't even look like there would be a house anywhere in the area. Surprisingly, they've had a few salespeople show up at the door.

The one guy got beligerent when my stepdad told him he was on private property and would have to leave. I don't remember how my mom told me it ended, but it could have ended very badly for the salesman. My stepdad has a whole room full of guns and knows how to use them.

Another time, it was two little old ladies from some religious organization. My mom couldn't bring herself to be rude with them, but she asked them how they found the house, since it wasn't obvious there was even a house out there. They cheerfully answered that they "followed the No Trespassing signs." I'm not sure if that makes them smart or stupid. Or maybe both.

[Misanthropical]

I'm in love with your dad, RecoveringKinkoid. If I'm ever single again can I date him?

Apparently, I get that very scary, evil, the birds stop singing, you better run now calm when I'm so angry I'm about to kill and only the very stupid ignore that sign. Mr. Mis tries to warn people and then stands back to watch. He tells me it's a great thing to watch as long as it isn't directed towards him.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

You'll have to clear that with my Mom.

Dad is a very intense person. He comes up with some funny stuff right off the cuff.

I told him about that phenomenon where salemen thing that having "no trespassing" or "no soliciting" signs meant that a pushover lived there who was afraid to say no.

I guess I probably don't have to tell you what his reaction to that was.

He's not so much like the guy in Gran Torino, that guy was unhappy and lonely and pretty racist. Dad's not like that. He's not that bitter by a long shot. He is just not someone who suffers bullshit for any amount of time.

[Treasure]

So i get home from work, and this kid is messing w/ my mom's car that was parked on the street (3 cars, in a 2 car drive way doesn't work - had to move mom's car so some things could be moved out of the garage, hadn't gotten around to putting it back - /bg) but so he's pulling on the handles and I drive up, next to him and asked if I could help him - he said something about fixing the flat - I backed up and parked in the driveway, got out with keys and cell only and went over to see what he's talking about - he kept talking in incomplete sentences and mumbled words - then he said something about waiting for his friend inside (this is after i've been screaming at him to go the fuck away or i'm calling the cops, had already dialed and showed him i'm serious) so I hit the call button, and dispatch answers, i tell them i need the cops blah blah blah, and while i'm on with dispatch the kid says something about getting his insurance, and i yelled at him "NO, I've got the cops on the phone now, you're not going anywhere just sit down!" (and he did!!! ) Officers show in less than 3 mins i swear, and they put him in cuffs, sat him inside one of their cruisers, unlocked my front door and had me deactivate the alarm and step back outside - nobody there (thank deity!)
so talk to me a second or two more, and then pull him out of their car, talk to him, ask me to tell him that he's not welcome, and blah blah, find some paperwork that he had set down when I told him to sit down, and its papers from the Mental Hospital -

in the end i don't know if he was higher than a kite and didn't realize that he was attempting to BS the wrong person, or if he was just a wack-a-doo, and confused and didn't realize where he was or what... seriously at one point he asked me where did i want him to meet me, and so I asked "meet you where for what?" and he said something about bringing the car (mom's) home to me - i told him "The car is HOME - its MY car and this is MY house!!!"


luckily it was a night that i normally have company over, so i called my bf to come over to stay with me, and called my brother to get over there now - as it takes the bf 2 hrs by bus to get to me...

[blas]

HOOOOOOLEEEY shit.

[greek_jester]

How the heck did I miss this thread?!? Your dad seriously needs his own fansite. May I borrow him if I ever need to replace the windows? Some of the reps around here can get a bit pushy.

[MoonCat]

I have a friend like RK's dad. She & her husband used to live at the top of a hill way off the road. One day she was home alone, sick, and a car full of religious-types (they claimed) came up her driveway...made a helluva mess out of the gravel drive, too. She came out with one of her husband's guns and told them to GTFO. Supposedly they "wanted to talk to her about the Bible." They claimed to be neighbors, but she'd never seen any of them before. They were very vague (wouldn't give names, etc.) and defensive, finally agreed to go, then had trouble turning the car around and asked if they could use her phone to call a tow! (this was before cell phones) She said no way and told them they had 2 minutes to get lost, push, pull or drive, she didn't care which. She knows how to use that gun.

They GTFO.

[tropicsgoddess]

RK, your dad is bad ass!

[mharbourgirl]

RK, if it wasn't for the age difference, and the fact that we have no kids, I'd swear your Dad is my husband. While my father-in-law will cheerfully talk to salespeople/charity solicitors/religious folks for hours on end without ever letting them get a word in edgewise, my husband...well... he has endless patience for his autistic wife. Anyone else, not so much. His voice gets very low and very calm with pushy people, and if that wasn't intimidating enough, the man doesn't blink. And he stares right at you. He once made some JW's HURRY up the driveway and away simply by taking his glasses off. For some reason this makes his stare almost pants-wettingly frightening.

The Hubster is not to be messed with. And I'm not sharing.

[Magpie]

The Hubster is not to be messed with. And I'm not sharing.

How about just long enough to give Jackdaw some pointers?

[mharbourgirl]

How about just long enough to give Jackdaw some pointers?

Hmm, I never thought about hiring him out on a consultancy, that's an interesting idea. "Spines-R-Us", now there's a catchy title.

[Magpie]

Hmm, I never thought about hiring him out on a consultancy, that's an interesting idea. "Spines-R-Us", now there's a catchy title.

Nah, it's not "needing a spine" it's the "not getting completely frustrated with ASD problems, and then upset because he knows I can't do anything about it, but it still bugs him".

[zombiequeen]

RK, if it wasn't for the age difference, and the fact that we have no kids, I'd swear your Dad is my husband. While my father-in-law will cheerfully talk to salespeople/charity solicitors/religious folks for hours on end without ever letting them get a word in edgewise, my husband...well... he has endless patience for his autistic wife. Anyone else, not so much. His voice gets very low and very calm with pushy people, and if that wasn't intimidating enough, the man doesn't blink. And he stares right at you. He once made some JW's HURRY up the driveway and away simply by taking his glasses off. For some reason this makes his stare almost pants-wettingly frightening.

The Hubster is not to be messed with. And I'm not sharing.

Wait, are we married to the same dude?
Except replace autistic wife with broken wife. He will seriously stay up with me all night long while I cry because in my dream I killed a bug and it made me sad. As soon as annoying neighbor boys from across the street showed up and told me that my dad said they could borrow a shovel (suuuure he did. Let me call him and find out). They decided that they would wait inside while I called dad, and I said "NO, you will stay outside, this won't take long." Hubby was out there telling them what he would use the shovel for on them if they tried to get in the house again without being invited in. Then he marched them home and told their parents. They don't bother us anymore.