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*sigh* what do you THINK I'm writing this thread about...?
It's that time again. Lupo had to go grocery shopping. 
Bah. Side note. I've been infected with some kind of head/chest/lung thing, and have been existing solely on soup, tea, occasionally coffee, for a change of pace. Hot liquids on throat. feels gooooood. However, I ran out of mucinex, sudafed, and kleenex, AND the huge pot of homemade chicken soup and dumplings I made finally ran out. So, I had to brave a store to re-equip myself to battle the crud.
another side note: when I'm sick, I revert to a 5 year old in an adult's body. I'm whiny, I'm cranky, and pathetic. I want someone to take care of me, becuase I just want to curl up and give the world the bird. Wishful thinking, but yeah, temper and patience are on a short leash. What a FUN attitude to go shopping with... >.> That said, very little happened, mostly because, KNOWING I'm this much of a bitch when sick, I kept my head down, my mp3 player on and ignored the ever living fuck out of everyone, unless they were unnecessarily loud or stupid. As in the following tales.
In the produce section
I'm standing there, minding my own business and perusing the mushrooms, which are on sale. I lurve mushrooms. Plus, if I'm making another batch of soup, they add a nice flavor, so I'm debating between oyster, portabella or white button (or all...?) Apparently I am not moving fast enough for Mr. Impatient standing next to me. Mind you, there's more than enough space for us both to pick through the 'shrooms, but heaven forbid I share the same 4 feet of space as him. He stands. He huffs. He taps his foot. I try to ignore him, but he fires off with this witty barb:
Him: You know, some of us actually have PLANS for tonight.
Me: Oh, gee, REALLY?!? Not me. I, personally, PINE for the days when I can grocery shop, and take as long as I can to appreciate it to the fullest.
Him: <Poor man. I've confused him, if the blank stare is any indication>
I take that moment to escape and go to the soup aisle.
But it's in a can! So it's on sale!!
This particular store has Progresso soup on sale, say 2/$3. I'm not so much interested in name brands for some things, unless they're cream based soups because store brand cream based taste nasty to me. So, I'm looking for various flavors, to tide me over until I can start another pot of homemade cooking on my day off tomorrow. This obnoxious female actually drags an employee over and DEMANDS to know why the Wolfgang Puck brand and Amy's Organic brands of soup (the EXPENSIVE SHIT!) are scanning at the price checker for $3 a can when they're on sale. He tries to explain it's only the Progresso.
Her: But the sign says it's on sale!
Employee: But it's just for the Progresso soups, ma'am.
Her: <I shit you not, these were the next words out of her mouth> But it's ALL canned soup! The sign says canned soup selected varieties on sale!!
Emp: <stares at her. Really, what else can he say>
Me: so close, yet so far...
Her: What?
Me: ma'am the ENTIRE sign reads: "PROGRESSO BRAND canned soup, selected varieties on sale"
Her: <Steps closer to me. Ugh, she's wearing some eau de cat piss perfume and it's noxious! And irritated my already irritated respiratory system!> What did you say!
Me: <Takes a step back> I said the sign said--
Her: <And she steps closer again> And why are you running away like I have the plague!
at this point, I can't help it, she's close enough that if i tried to lift a hand I'd hit her. So...I coughed on her. I sound horrible when I'm coughing, dry hacking heaves, almost barking kind of cough. Not pretty. She backpedaled pretty quickly, and when I catch my breath, I'm able to explain that I'm sick, and strong smells irritate my poor nasal passages and throat, so I stepped back to avoid what just happened.
Grr. People. RESPECT the sick person's bubble!! It's there for a reason!! Not sure how the soup dilemma turned out. I just walked away.
ing kids
What the hell is it with high school kids hanging out at a grocery store? Really? You can't find anywhere else? I'm standing in the pharmacy section, waiting to get sudafed from behind the counter. Now, at this particular store, the register for the pharmacy is right by the condom/lube display. Fan-fucking-tastic. There's about 4 high school boys. I can hear them whispering, because unfortunately, I have to take my mp3 player off to talk to the pharmacist. Whisper, whisper, giggle, snort. Then.
idiot1: Hey girl.
Me: <Ignore>
I1: Hey! I'm talking to you!
Me: <in an unfortunately husky voice due to coughing, which doesn't help matters any...> yes...?
I1: What's your name?
(Idiots 2-4 start snickering)
Me: Not really your business, is it?
I1: Aw, come on. You wanna hang out? Let's you, me, and a box of magnums spend some quality time together?
Me:
Are you serious...?
(I2-4 continue laughing)
I1: We can even get ribbed. <snicker> For your pleasure.
Me: I'm going to stop you right now before you embarrass yourself further...no. Just no. End of story.
I1: What's that supposed to mean?
Me: <sigh> All right, lookie hear, Sunshine, aside from the obvious wishful thinking in regards to magnum, the juvenile antics are better suited to middle school. What are you, 12?
I1: I'm 18!!
Me: Fantastic. I'm 26. On top of that, I'm exhausted, I'm sick, and at this point, I'm really REALLY tempted to just cough on you, in the hopes of infecting you with whatever plague I seem to be carrying, just on the off chance you lose your voice. Now, shut up and leave me alone, mk? thanks.
All four of the idiots stare at me like I've committed some kind of blasphemy. The pharmacist looks like she's trying really hard not to laugh when she asks me what i need. I tell her sudafed, as fast as humanly possible and make my escape.
Bus time bloody nose. Yay!
Ok. Sudafed and mucinex are WOOOONDERFUL. really. I lurves them. Only downside is, Sudafed dries me out (well, it's supposed to, though, right. Heh) As a result, between that and blowing my nose a lot, my nose is dry. When I get sick like this, I get bloody noses. That's enough of a background for this tale.
Here in Houston, we have articulated buses that look like this
They have 3 steps to climb to board. I'm standing at my stop, when this pushy old sow of a woman starts inching closer and closer to me as the bus draws near. the bus stops RIGHT in front of me. I take a step forward and she shoves her way past me, and scurries up the stairs, managing to bop me in the face with her bags. Now, I finish climbing on the bus and make a sound of utter disgust. The woman turns around and starts spewing something nasty about how she's elderly and I need to be more respectful, and shuts up mid-tirade to stare at me wide eyed.
The bus driver asks if I'm ok. I stare, puzzled. He gestures to my face. I reach up. Perfect. I have a bloody nose. Old woman starts blustering that it's obviously MY fault because I didn't get out of the way fast enough. I completely ignore her as I reach in my bag for some kleenex to use on my nose. I look at the bus driver and smile sweetly when he asks if I want to fill out an incident report, which causes the woman to start screeching! I don't even address her. I calmly and politely tell the driver
"You know, it's a good thing my mother raised me to be polite and honest. No, sir, despite her rude and callous behavior and disregard for fellow people - which admittedly is ironic given her rant about showing respect, isn't it? - I'm fine. She's just lucky that this is a result of my being sick and having highly inflamed and dried out nasal cavities because of the medication I'm taking. So, her stupidity actually didn't physically harm anyone. This time."
he nods, and I go to take my seat, pointedly ignoring the old crone, who's STILL trying to bluster something about us youngsters and our lack of respect, etc, etc. I ignored her, turned my music on and started counting down the minutes until I made it home.
Ugh. People!!
Bah. Side note. I've been infected with some kind of head/chest/lung thing, and have been existing solely on soup, tea, occasionally coffee, for a change of pace. Hot liquids on throat. feels gooooood. However, I ran out of mucinex, sudafed, and kleenex, AND the huge pot of homemade chicken soup and dumplings I made finally ran out. So, I had to brave a store to re-equip myself to battle the crud.
another side note: when I'm sick, I revert to a 5 year old in an adult's body. I'm whiny, I'm cranky, and pathetic. I want someone to take care of me, becuase I just want to curl up and give the world the bird. Wishful thinking, but yeah, temper and patience are on a short leash. What a FUN attitude to go shopping with... >.> That said, very little happened, mostly because, KNOWING I'm this much of a bitch when sick, I kept my head down, my mp3 player on and ignored the ever living fuck out of everyone, unless they were unnecessarily loud or stupid. As in the following tales.
In the produce section
I'm standing there, minding my own business and perusing the mushrooms, which are on sale. I lurve mushrooms. Plus, if I'm making another batch of soup, they add a nice flavor, so I'm debating between oyster, portabella or white button (or all...?) Apparently I am not moving fast enough for Mr. Impatient standing next to me. Mind you, there's more than enough space for us both to pick through the 'shrooms, but heaven forbid I share the same 4 feet of space as him. He stands. He huffs. He taps his foot. I try to ignore him, but he fires off with this witty barb:
Him: You know, some of us actually have PLANS for tonight.
Me: Oh, gee, REALLY?!? Not me. I, personally, PINE for the days when I can grocery shop, and take as long as I can to appreciate it to the fullest.
Him: <Poor man. I've confused him, if the blank stare is any indication>
I take that moment to escape and go to the soup aisle.
But it's in a can! So it's on sale!!
This particular store has Progresso soup on sale, say 2/$3. I'm not so much interested in name brands for some things, unless they're cream based soups because store brand cream based taste nasty to me. So, I'm looking for various flavors, to tide me over until I can start another pot of homemade cooking on my day off tomorrow. This obnoxious female actually drags an employee over and DEMANDS to know why the Wolfgang Puck brand and Amy's Organic brands of soup (the EXPENSIVE SHIT!) are scanning at the price checker for $3 a can when they're on sale. He tries to explain it's only the Progresso.
Her: But the sign says it's on sale!
Employee: But it's just for the Progresso soups, ma'am.
Her: <I shit you not, these were the next words out of her mouth> But it's ALL canned soup! The sign says canned soup selected varieties on sale!!
Emp: <stares at her. Really, what else can he say>
Me: so close, yet so far...
Her: What?
Me: ma'am the ENTIRE sign reads: "PROGRESSO BRAND canned soup, selected varieties on sale"
Her: <Steps closer to me. Ugh, she's wearing some eau de cat piss perfume and it's noxious! And irritated my already irritated respiratory system!> What did you say!
Me: <Takes a step back> I said the sign said--
Her: <And she steps closer again> And why are you running away like I have the plague!
at this point, I can't help it, she's close enough that if i tried to lift a hand I'd hit her. So...I coughed on her. I sound horrible when I'm coughing, dry hacking heaves, almost barking kind of cough. Not pretty. She backpedaled pretty quickly, and when I catch my breath, I'm able to explain that I'm sick, and strong smells irritate my poor nasal passages and throat, so I stepped back to avoid what just happened.
Grr. People. RESPECT the sick person's bubble!! It's there for a reason!! Not sure how the soup dilemma turned out. I just walked away.
ing kidsWhat the hell is it with high school kids hanging out at a grocery store? Really? You can't find anywhere else? I'm standing in the pharmacy section, waiting to get sudafed from behind the counter. Now, at this particular store, the register for the pharmacy is right by the condom/lube display. Fan-fucking-tastic. There's about 4 high school boys. I can hear them whispering, because unfortunately, I have to take my mp3 player off to talk to the pharmacist. Whisper, whisper, giggle, snort. Then.
idiot1: Hey girl.
Me: <Ignore>
I1: Hey! I'm talking to you!
Me: <in an unfortunately husky voice due to coughing, which doesn't help matters any...> yes...?
I1: What's your name?
(Idiots 2-4 start snickering)
Me: Not really your business, is it?
I1: Aw, come on. You wanna hang out? Let's you, me, and a box of magnums spend some quality time together?
Me:
Are you serious...?(I2-4 continue laughing)
I1: We can even get ribbed. <snicker> For your pleasure.
Me: I'm going to stop you right now before you embarrass yourself further...no. Just no. End of story.
I1: What's that supposed to mean?
Me: <sigh> All right, lookie hear, Sunshine, aside from the obvious wishful thinking in regards to magnum, the juvenile antics are better suited to middle school. What are you, 12?
I1: I'm 18!!
Me: Fantastic. I'm 26. On top of that, I'm exhausted, I'm sick, and at this point, I'm really REALLY tempted to just cough on you, in the hopes of infecting you with whatever plague I seem to be carrying, just on the off chance you lose your voice. Now, shut up and leave me alone, mk? thanks.
All four of the idiots stare at me like I've committed some kind of blasphemy. The pharmacist looks like she's trying really hard not to laugh when she asks me what i need. I tell her sudafed, as fast as humanly possible and make my escape.
Bus time bloody nose. Yay!
Ok. Sudafed and mucinex are WOOOONDERFUL. really. I lurves them. Only downside is, Sudafed dries me out (well, it's supposed to, though, right. Heh) As a result, between that and blowing my nose a lot, my nose is dry. When I get sick like this, I get bloody noses. That's enough of a background for this tale.
Here in Houston, we have articulated buses that look like this
They have 3 steps to climb to board. I'm standing at my stop, when this pushy old sow of a woman starts inching closer and closer to me as the bus draws near. the bus stops RIGHT in front of me. I take a step forward and she shoves her way past me, and scurries up the stairs, managing to bop me in the face with her bags. Now, I finish climbing on the bus and make a sound of utter disgust. The woman turns around and starts spewing something nasty about how she's elderly and I need to be more respectful, and shuts up mid-tirade to stare at me wide eyed.
The bus driver asks if I'm ok. I stare, puzzled. He gestures to my face. I reach up. Perfect. I have a bloody nose. Old woman starts blustering that it's obviously MY fault because I didn't get out of the way fast enough. I completely ignore her as I reach in my bag for some kleenex to use on my nose. I look at the bus driver and smile sweetly when he asks if I want to fill out an incident report, which causes the woman to start screeching! I don't even address her. I calmly and politely tell the driver
"You know, it's a good thing my mother raised me to be polite and honest. No, sir, despite her rude and callous behavior and disregard for fellow people - which admittedly is ironic given her rant about showing respect, isn't it? - I'm fine. She's just lucky that this is a result of my being sick and having highly inflamed and dried out nasal cavities because of the medication I'm taking. So, her stupidity actually didn't physically harm anyone. This time."
he nods, and I go to take my seat, pointedly ignoring the old crone, who's STILL trying to bluster something about us youngsters and our lack of respect, etc, etc. I ignored her, turned my music on and started counting down the minutes until I made it home.
Ugh. People!!
). But if teenagers wanna be teenagers, there aren't a lot of specifically youth-friendly places for them. Plus some can be territorial. 
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