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  • Way to Endanger a Neighborhood Guys!

    While on routine parking lot patrol the other day, I happened by an interesting sight.

    The first signs something was amiss in Friendlytown was when I noted some smoke curling from the ventilation unit on top of the "Kollege Kafe", a short-order lunch counter kind of operation that is housed in the first floor of a three story apartment complex downtown.

    They've got a full grill setup going behind the counter, so seeing billowing clouds of blue-grey burger smoke isn't out of the ordinary (nor is smelling the char-broiled odor of said smoke, sometimes from a block away if the wind is blowing.)

    But this was different, it was black smoke. Curling, black, smoke... that smelt not of meat, but the stinging and burning noxious odor of burning grease, just rolling out the exhaust stack.

    Transfixed, I pull over, get out, and walk toward the smoke signal, watching silently as within a few short minutes, I note that it's starting to stain the wall of the building as it continues to roll up the side.....

    Looking below, on the sidewalk out front, I see the Kafe's normal two-man crew, apron clad and all, just sort of standing around. Well, not standing, really. One was kinda pacing back and forth, the other was leaning against the open door to the place, and sure enough, some smoke was starting to waft out there as well as he, rather disinterestedly, seemed to be texting someone on his phone.

    But what REALLY got my attention was what I could see behind said man, on account of the Kafe having full glass bay windows across the front.

    Namely, the festive FOUR FOOT HIGH FLAMES leaping off the one grill

    This isn't the kind of flare up you occasionally get when you flip over a greasy burger on a char block, these were large SCARY sheets of orange FLAME shooting almost to the ceiling inside!

    Okay, so, the two guys at work here had a little grease fire, and it got a bit out of control, well, they probably called the FD, which is why they're kinda just loitering about on the sidewalk, looking a bit guilty, like when you find the dog kinda just wandering around aimlessly when you get home, avoiding eye contact, and your first thought is "alright, what'd you do?" No good comes from running around in a panic during an emergency, after all.

    One little flaw with my hypothesis though, I don't hear any fire engines coming...

    Despite the fact the fire house is only about 6 blocks away, on a straight shot down a two-lane one way street, I don't hear anything heralding the imminent arrival of the fire brigade.

    One minute goes by.....

    Two minutes go by....

    Pretty soon about FIVE minutes have gone by....

    I'm straining my eardrums, but I'm not hearing any sirens, or smoke alarms for that matter.

    The smoke is still being prodigiously produced by that fire though.... and the two employees are still kinda just chillin' on the sidewalk. A couple people walking by have by now looked inside and noticed that the place seems to be ON FIRE, but dumb and dumber just smile and wave at them both.

    Did I mention this is the first floor of a THREE STORY apartment building? As in there's PEOPLE who might not be aware that disaster is brewing just one floor below, if they haven't already noted the smoke, which is by now getting a bit thick as it continues to belch out the stack and front door, the flames showing no sign of subsiding.

    I was literally reaching for my phone to call the firemen and ask if these two knuckleheads had, by chance, reported that they'd accidentally set their place of employment ablaze when a borough cop cruiser whips into the lot.

    The cop gets out and strides up to the two cooks and asks, in the understatement of the year "Is there a problem here?!"

    About a half-a-sec later, an SUV I recognize as belonging to Kollege Kafe's owner whips in behind the cop car and pulls to a hurried stop, the owner getting out and frantically yammering on a cell with one hand while clutching a handful of papers (probably his lease, with him wondering how much trouble he just got in) in the other.

    Now, I can't say for certain, but, given the preponderance of evidence, I could certainly make a very compelling argument in front of a jury that not only did these two employees set the place on fire, but instead of calling the FIRE DEPARTMENT, they apparently called their BOSS and told him "Uh, your place is on fire, and we don't know what to do" or words to that effect. Seeing as there's no other practical way his arrival would time out as such.

    Fortunately, the cop by now had fired up the radios and gotten the proper authorities rolling, as within 2 minutes, the command SUV from the FD arrived, followed shortly thereafter by the actual fire engines.

    Only NOW does a fire alarm go off in the building.

    Uh oh

    Did someone perhaps take the batteries out of the smoke alarm to avoid false positives? ANd now has hurried to reinsert them before the firemen find out? (That's a quick $1000 MINIMUM fine inside the Borough, deactivating a smoke alarm)

    Anyway, the situation is happily under control now, so I go on my merry way.

    Over the next few days, I managed to glean some more information from neighboring businesses and it seems the Kafe was going to do some kind of "bacon all day" promotion where , as the name suggests, a lot of bacon would need to be cooked, and indeed, it seems that was the source o the fire, too much grease... but, the real shocking part, the fact that the two morons behind the counter didn't reach for the fire extinguisher (if they don't have one, that's going to be another fine) or the phone and CALL the fire department, they just stood back and watched the whole mess burn and endanger however many tenants are inside that building.

    The only good thing is that all the cleanup and restoration services trucks that have been in and out of there all week CAN'T be cheap, karma is expensive.
    - They say nothing good happens at 2AM, they're right, I happen at 2AM.

  • #2
    I don't know what it is, but every once in a while, you just have to shake your head. Have we become so inured against taking the initiative that we need permission to divert an emergency? Apparently we have.

    Was the manager such a martinet that his employees didn't feel comfortable making a decision, even in an emergency, or were his employees just so used to running on autopilot that any deviation from the norm was rejected by their tiny minds?

    My roommate's brain once shut down entirely when a pipe burst in our apartment. I had to yell at him to shut off the water while I tried to reattach it, and then I had to yell at him to call the emergency management number on our lease. Until then, he literally just stood there, blinking placidly at the fountain of water destroying our apartment. It was the weirdest thing I ever saw. God help us if there's a fire.

    Right now I'm furious over the institutional stupidity of some of the people around me. I'm in hot water because a couple of guys I know can't interpret the icons on their computer screens and are blaming the resulting disaster on me. SO I FEEL RANTY.

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    • #3
      Got no problem with Karma as a general concept (or anthropomorphic personification, whichever). Only drawback I can see is, She's gonna be landing on the boss here, whose only sin is to have hired two imbeciles . . .

      (OK, if he did take the batteries out of the smoke alarms and/or failed to provide fire extinguishers, then he deserves whatever She dishes out. My guess though is that there were fire extinguishers, but the aforesaid imbeciles declined to use them because "duh, we're gonna ruin the bacon!")

      edit to add:

      Quoth Ben_Who View Post
      My roommate's brain once shut down entirely when a pipe burst in our apartment. I had to yell at him to shut off the water while I tried to reattach it, and then I had to yell at him to call the emergency management number on our lease. Until then, he literally just stood there, blinking placidly at the fountain of water destroying our apartment. It was the weirdest thing I ever saw.
      yeah, my tenants (upstairs apartment) did that once twice. Called me that their toilet was overflowing and they couldn't stop it. By the time they called, though, the filthy water cascading out of my ceiling and filling up my bathroom light fixture kinda tipped me off there was something amiss. I get up there, see the water pouring out the toilet bowl, jiggle the flush handle ONCE, and magically the water stops. OK, I can imagine someone not knowing where the shutoff is (right under the damned tank, the same place it was when I showed it to them the last time they flooded me out), but EVERYBODY for $DEITY's sake jiggles the handle to make the toilet stop flushing... so now all the sheetrock in my own john is soggy, the paint is starting to peel, I had to replace the light fixture (and how that didn't blow the damn fuse is absolutely beyond me, I mean the entire glass thingy was filled up to the brim and there was an energized (and probably blown) CFL in this thing) and all because they couldn't think in a crisis. And this is a social worker with a master's degree, she's not stupid by a long shot.
      Last edited by Shalom; 10-14-2014, 12:59 AM. Reason: added quote on ninja'd post

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      • #4
        Yup, the Sims have it right. Some people will run in and then stand around in a panic while a place is on fire, never thinking to dial the phone and get the FD moving. At least in the Sims, they don't often live to do it again. What did you think they'd learn from that?

        Out where I am, there is a freaking gas pipeline running beside our property. A fire + gas pipeline = Michael Bay has a field day. Usually, by the time I see the smoke, the FD for our area has already been called.
        If I make no sense, I apologize. I'm constantly interrupted by an actual toddler.

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        • #5
          The more I read this story the more I become.

          Either these two genius' planned the whole thing as arson or the pair of them don't have two functioning brain cells between them.

          In either case this is still going to be _VERY_ $$$, and I expect their insurance company to be asking a lot of direct questions...

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          • #6
            What the heck, what a pair of stupid idiots! I'm glad that everything got under control in the end. That could have been NASTY.

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            • #7
              Quoth Ben_Who View Post
              My roommate's brain once shut down entirely when a pipe burst in our apartment. I had to yell at him to shut off the water while I tried to reattach it, and then I had to yell at him to call the emergency management number on our lease. Until then, he literally just stood there, blinking placidly at the fountain of water destroying our apartment. It was the weirdest thing I ever saw. God help us if there's a fire.
              That happened with my brother once. There's an 8 year difference between he and I, but he was still in high school at the time. I was living at home while trying to find more gainful employment than Walmart and subbing.

              Anyway, I was still asleep after a late shift when he wakes me up with "I broke the toilet".

              I'm thinking, great, it's backed up and he wants me to plunge it. Nope, he'd fallen or something and had snapped the seat

              And my brother, a kid smarter than I, didn't know to turn the water off. He completely soaked the bathroom, the hall carpet, and there are stains on the ceiling downstairs from it.

              At least he had the presence to get me since our folks were at work? Although I did call Dad to let him know. He came home to replace the toilet.
              My NaNo page

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              • #8
                Quoth raudf View Post
                Yup, the Sims have it right. Some people will run in and then stand around in a panic while a place is on fire, never thinking to dial the phone and get the FD moving. At least in the Sims, they don't often live to do it again. What did you think they'd learn from that?
                I wonder if Sims do that in The Sims 4. I've stopped playing since Into The Future came out, and am waiting for my bladder problems to resolve themselves to get back into the game.

                As for fire and Sims, I've heard that they're smart enough to move babies and toddlers out of the way.
                cindybubbles (👧 ❤️ 🎂 )

                Enter Cindyland here!

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                • #9
                  I'd stick with 3 if I were you. Base game 3 has a bajillion more things than 4. No pool, no toddlers, no mucking with lot height, babies can't be moved about...the list goes on.
                  My Guide to Oblivion

                  "I resent the implication that I've gone mad, Sprocket."

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                  • #10
                    The cop gets out and strides up to the two cooks and asks, in the understatement of the year "Is there a problem here?!"
                    Nah, we're just takin' a smoke break.
                    Supporting the idiots charged with protecting your personal information.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Quoth Argabarga View Post
                      Only NOW does a fire alarm go off in the building.

                      Uh oh

                      Did someone perhaps take the batteries out of the smoke alarm to avoid false positives? ANd now has hurried to reinsert them before the firemen find out? (That's a quick $1000 MINIMUM fine inside the Borough, deactivating a smoke alarm)
                      I don't think any establishment with a grill like that can have a smoke alarm. A fire alarm sure, but not a smoke detector. It would go off every five seconds from the grilling!

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        It would have to be an ionisation or thermal detector, rather than a standard (optical or radioactive) particle detector. But they are readily available; the standard automatic sprinkler bulb is an example of a thermal detector.

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                        • #13
                          Don't most restaurant grill hoods HAVE a fire suppression system in them that douses the grill with fire extinguisher fluid?

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Quoth Tama View Post
                            I'd stick with 3 if I were you. Base game 3 has a bajillion more things than 4. No pool, no toddlers, no mucking with lot height, babies can't be moved about...the list goes on.
                            Yeah, when they said, "No pools or swimming," I said, "NO SIMS 4!" Of course, I wouldn't know about the Sims toddlers, since the few times I tried one, it was more work than taking care of a real one. Oh, and Sims 4 doesn't have a Create-A-Style, either.

                            On the vent fire suppressors... they only exist if the owner of the establishment isn't too cheap to buy one and yet, not cheap enough to bribe the health officials...
                            If I make no sense, I apologize. I'm constantly interrupted by an actual toddler.

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                            • #15
                              Quoth raudf View Post
                              Yeah, when they said, "No pools or swimming," I said, "NO SIMS 4!" Of course, I wouldn't know about the Sims toddlers, since the few times I tried one, it was more work than taking care of a real one. Oh, and Sims 4 doesn't have a Create-A-Style, either.
                              And they split the town into sections, and the camera controls were not intuitive. Seemed like less variety for personalities. And generally it seems less free-style than I'd like. I got it from Origin, who let me return it.

                              I remember a neighbor who rented her finished detached garage as an apartment told me a fun story. Her rental had a small leak under the bathroom sink. Rather than walk across the driveway (or call/text/email) to let my neighbor know, the renter ignored it for months until the nice wood floor was rotted and moldy. Now this wasn't an emergency however it does show that most people will ignore something as long as possible.
                              Replace anger management with stupidity management.

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