The scariest thing I saw on Halloween

[Ben_Who]

I went to the Wally-World to pick up the Halloween candy the night before the curtain went up. I usually have to work on Halloween, so this was a pretty big deal for me. Not that I got anything fancy - I went to Wally-World, after all.

It was the sort of shopping trip that makes you wonder what's wrong with people. Apart from the fact that it looked as if the candy had been manhandled, I found two open bags. And I don't mean "open" as in "cheap bag popped along a seam," but open as in "someone tore a corner off and helped themselves." I didn't want to be That Guy, so I brought them to the customer service desk.

For all the difficulty Wally-World had in keeping the place organized and policed, they were certainly well-stocked. You could stand between the aisles and inhale, and just breathe in sweet. It was like standing next to a commercial beehive. (I miss my Dad's beehives.) So, of course, while I'm trying to choose between a five-pound bag of Twizzlers and a five-pound bag of peanut butter cups and stumbling to the inevitable conclusion "Why not both?", I heard a blood-curdling scream from up the aisle.

Little kid, launching a tantrum.

The couple pushing the stroller could have stepped out of a J. Crew catalog. Their other, slightly younger daughter was sitting in the second seat of the stroller, just as well-behaved and charming as a little girl from a Victorian children's novel. The older daughter was up front, being murdered. The vicious, cruel, heartless act of not being given candy was apparently leading to her complete dissolution.

As the little family strolled toward the exit, all eyes on them, I swear to blue, the mother turned to the father and said, "I wonder what she wants?"

...

She's heartbroken over the Royals' 4-3 loss in the World Series, lady. She was dissatisfied with the last episode of Doctor Who. She's having trouble reconciling classical physics with quantum theory. What do you think she wants? I get that they can be a little hard to understand when their wailing makes it difficult for them to enunciate consonants, but this isn't a job for Kreskin. I'm gonna make the wild guess that she wants a five pound bag of peanut butter cups of her very own.

They are insanely understaffed at that place. I weep for Black Friday. It's going to look like a tornado rolled through.

[Jay 2K Winger]

Thankfully I didn't see much in the way of wailing children on Halloween-- largely because I wasn't on candy duty this year, by virtue of going to hang out with friends instead. But I did have to go to the mall in order to get a mask to complete my costume. (The mask I did have has mysteriously vanished.)

(For reference, I was dressing up as Erick Rowan (the one with the sheep's mask). I lost my sheep's mask and willing to settle for something that would fit with the mechanic's jumpsuit I had to make me look like some low-budget horror movie serial killer.)

I go into the Halloween store at the mall, and I swear to god, the entire store was filled with the line for the register. It wound throughout the whole store, and there was only one person manning the registers. The only two other staffers I saw were in the back of the store, filling out costume slips and running into the back to get the costumes out for customers.

I went "Nope" and left. Went to Hot Topic instead, where I found a rubber pig's head mask and a sheep's mask pretty much identical to the one I'd lost. Since they had a "BOGO 1/2 Off" sale going on, I thought it a good result.

[AccountingDrone]

My microscopic town does the no home trick or treating, everybody goes to the party held in the middle school. I turned off our outside lights as well just to make sure we didn't get any visitors [although we did have a bag of hersheys miniatures on hand, Rob has a sweet tooth.] We haven't had any halloween visitors in at least 5 years. Which makes me happy, part of our tax money goes to pay for the town party and I don't have to go candy shopping =)

[XCashier]

My microscopic town does the no home trick or treating, everybody goes to the party held in the middle school.

That's a really nice idea. I wouldn't mind seeing something like that here. We should have a safe venue for kids to celebrate Halloween, since so few go out trick-or-treating anymore; we maybe got fifteen kids at our apartment, despite the glowing jack o'lanterns in the front window and the "Trick-or-treaters welcome" sign on the door.

I took my son trick-or-treating. Very few people were giving out candy, but the ones who did were very generous, giving great big handfuls of the good stuff (Reese's, Snickers, Milky Way, etc.) and even though I was just accompanying my kid, they even gave some to me just because I was in costume too!

Then we went home and watched the first Pirates of the Caribbean movie. I'd forgotten how enjoyable that movie was. So, all in all, a pleasant night.

[Argabarga]

As the little family strolled toward the exit, all eyes on them, I swear to blue, the mother turned to the father and said, "I wonder what she wants?"

...

She's heartbroken over the Royals' 4-3 loss in the World Series, lady. She was dissatisfied with the last episode of Doctor Who. She's having trouble reconciling classical physics with quantum theory. What do you think she wants? I get that they can be a little hard to understand when their wailing makes it difficult for them to enunciate consonants, but this isn't a job for Kreskin.

That was some high-quality Argasnarking, You got the skills, son.

[NecessaryCatharsis]

I go into the Halloween store at the mall,

What? Is this an actual store or just someplace you went to get Halloween specific supplies? How would an actual Halloween store make enough money to stay open? Or is it like a pop up store?

[Argabarga]

Around here they're seasonal places that open for a month or so in some disused or vacant retail spot, sell as much Halloween/party stuff as they can, and then pack up and move on until next year.

The old closed down Blockbuster here in town had one of these roving circuses set up every year for 3 years, until it was finally bulldozed for a new shopping plaza. Now this year, they set up in what used to be an old Ames on the other side of town.

[Sunshine]

We have trunk or treat here where the church patrons pull in, pop their trunks and give candy out. Its nice, and safe. We went trick or treating in Lil rays friends neighborhood and then she went to her dads.

[MoonCat]

I mourn the loss of real, genuine trick-or-treating, I really do. We don't get ANY trick-or-treaters anymore. One of my neighbors down the street sets up on the front porch with lights and candy and all, and I always wonder how many kids turn up, because I don't see or hear even one.

she wants a five pound bag of peanut butter cups of her very own.

Well, so do I, but I don't throw tantrums about it

Ben_Who, I really enjoyed your post. Very well written!

[Jay 2K Winger]

What? Is this an actual store or just someplace you went to get Halloween specific supplies? How would an actual Halloween store make enough money to stay open? Or is it like a pop up store?

Around here they're seasonal places that open for a month or so in some disused or vacant retail spot, sell as much Halloween/party stuff as they can, and then pack up and move on until next year.

Pretty much this. Every year, they'll move into one of the spare storefronts in the mall, fill it with as much Halloween costumes, props, or decorations as they can, sell as much as possible, and then close down before Thanksgiving.

The party stores will also have a lot of Halloween stuff, but they were picked clean of masks that would have fit with my planned costume.


ETA:

Argasnarking

This is my new favorite word.

[XCashier]

What? Is this an actual store or just someplace you went to get Halloween specific supplies? How would an actual Halloween store make enough money to stay open? Or is it like a pop up store?

Both Spirit Halloween Store and Halloween City set up temporary stores in various cities, starting in early September. They'll be closing in a few days, then next September, open up again.

[cindybubbles]

I can think of four reasons why kids don't go trick-or-treating anymore in my area:

1. Safety is the most important, of course. Even in my apartment block, where you don't have to worry about traffic, you still have to worry about your kids getting razors in apples, or worse, molested, possibly killed by the very people who are giving out the treats! You also have less people giving out candy out of fear of the teenage and adult trick-or-treaters.

2. Weather. This doesn't apply to my apartment block, where kids can freely go out without coats and jackets and show off their costumes, though.

3. Age. The older the kids, the less likely you'll see them out on the streets begging for candy.

4. Technology and social media. Who wants to go out in silly costumes begging for candy from strangers whom you're supposed to avoid on all the other days of the year when you can buy candy online and play Halloween games in the safety of your own house? Not me!

[Monterey Jack]

1. Safety is the most important, of course. Even in my apartment block, where you don't have to worry about traffic, you still have to worry about your kids getting razors in apples, or worse, molested, possibly killed by the very people who are giving out the treats!

Oh, BULLSHIT. So sick of fear-mongers mindlessly trotting out the old "razor blades in apples" spook stories or instilling a crippling social phobia in their kids by insinuating that their friends and neighbors are all out to get them and it's never safe to leave the house. I trick-or-treated for almost a decade straight back in the late 70's and early 80's, and nothing bad ever happened. Instead of allowing kids to have fun interacting with the neighborhood after dark, now we just keep them inside all the frigging time.

Way to kill the holiday, people.

[notalwaysright]

The last place I lived I got no actual trick or treaters. I did get a couple kids the week before who were trick or treating for shelf stable food for the local food bank. It was through a private school. I thought that was pretty cool. People do trick or treat in my current neighborhood. They just don't come in our apartment building, I think they think it's a secure building. Lolz. It is not at all.

[NecessaryCatharsis]

I used to live in an apartment building where they would only have the lobby open to trick or treaters. All the residents could donate candy, and the super would be at the table in the lobby to hand it out. It was great, there weren't tons of kids running loose through the halls, the residents who liked seeing the kids could go down and help at the table, the ones who didn't got to keep to the quiet, and the kids loved coming there because they got about 30 different things in one stop. Probably the best trick or treat set up I've seen.