Back with more tales of idiocy on the dancefloor
Don't touch me
Yeah, that's right, there is no need to touch me at all. Sure I expect the occasional bump and nudge as I move across the floor, or a tap on the shoulder asking for s photo, but in no way are any of the following appropriate; grabbing my arm, kicking my elbow, pinching my kidney, groping or feeling me up, or trying to open my belt and jeans on the floor...
I wish I could say it was just drunk girls doing this, and I would be lying if I didn't admit that I appreciate the attention, but I'm 100% off the market, and guys groping me, well that's just not something I enjoy...
Oh and if you're too drunk to see straight, grabbing at my camera to see the photo I'm showing won't help, so don't touch. I’d rather keep it free from drool, beer, lipstick or whatever else is on your hands.
Mind your manners
I respond to excuse me, my name (regulars know me by now)or some variety of camera/photo man/guy/dude etc. I do not respond to OI!, hey you, c*nt, or any other name.
"Please" goes a long way too if you want a photo of your two dozen mates scattered across the venue, as I’m less likely to wait around for you to collect your mounted and intoxicated mates if you simply demand that I “stay right there!”
You’re not cool, bro
You all know the type, tight (or no) shirt, hair glued in place so permanently that when archaeologists in 20,000 years dig up their bones they’ll be amazed at how perfectly each strand is preserved. The type who’s ego is only matched by the inverse of their IQ.
The type of guy who wants a photo of just himself, pulling some stupid stunt. I, however, get to be the lucky one to tell him (loudly enough that his mates and anyone else nearby hears) that a photo of him on his own makes him look like a loser. Also the same type of guy who tries to photobomb*, pulling exactly the same type of stupid face, only to get a slow shake of the head from me as I wait for him to bugger off and the people I’m taking a photo of laugh at him.
And finally, the type of guy who likes to stick up the middle finger in any photo or show of “the guns," whether he’s a subject or trying to photobomb. Receives the same head shake of shame.
Basically the type of guy who’s idea of an awesome photo is one that no one else wants to see, and doesn’t put the venue in a good light. I also have a “No Shirt, No Photo” rule I’ve had to bring out a few times in the past.
*Photobombers can be fun, but you’ve gotta do something special to make it worth my while of taking the shot.
*Side note: Regulars are fun
Every venue has them. Once you’ve been working the same place for a while, you tend to get to know them. Sure there’s the regular trash, sleezebags and d*ckheads, but most of the time the regulars are pretty cool (otherwise they’d have been banned long ago).
It makes the job fun, and it means that when I’m rocking’ my small 40mm lens (that protrudes about 2cm from the camera body) instead of my normal 24-70 (that’s about 20cm+ long) and one of them asks, “Where’s your big… thing?” I can respond with, “It’s cold alright?” and it’s all good fun.
Don't touch me
Yeah, that's right, there is no need to touch me at all. Sure I expect the occasional bump and nudge as I move across the floor, or a tap on the shoulder asking for s photo, but in no way are any of the following appropriate; grabbing my arm, kicking my elbow, pinching my kidney, groping or feeling me up, or trying to open my belt and jeans on the floor...
I wish I could say it was just drunk girls doing this, and I would be lying if I didn't admit that I appreciate the attention, but I'm 100% off the market, and guys groping me, well that's just not something I enjoy...
Oh and if you're too drunk to see straight, grabbing at my camera to see the photo I'm showing won't help, so don't touch. I’d rather keep it free from drool, beer, lipstick or whatever else is on your hands.
Mind your manners
I respond to excuse me, my name (regulars know me by now)or some variety of camera/photo man/guy/dude etc. I do not respond to OI!, hey you, c*nt, or any other name.
"Please" goes a long way too if you want a photo of your two dozen mates scattered across the venue, as I’m less likely to wait around for you to collect your mounted and intoxicated mates if you simply demand that I “stay right there!”
You’re not cool, bro
You all know the type, tight (or no) shirt, hair glued in place so permanently that when archaeologists in 20,000 years dig up their bones they’ll be amazed at how perfectly each strand is preserved. The type who’s ego is only matched by the inverse of their IQ.
The type of guy who wants a photo of just himself, pulling some stupid stunt. I, however, get to be the lucky one to tell him (loudly enough that his mates and anyone else nearby hears) that a photo of him on his own makes him look like a loser. Also the same type of guy who tries to photobomb*, pulling exactly the same type of stupid face, only to get a slow shake of the head from me as I wait for him to bugger off and the people I’m taking a photo of laugh at him.
And finally, the type of guy who likes to stick up the middle finger in any photo or show of “the guns," whether he’s a subject or trying to photobomb. Receives the same head shake of shame.
Basically the type of guy who’s idea of an awesome photo is one that no one else wants to see, and doesn’t put the venue in a good light. I also have a “No Shirt, No Photo” rule I’ve had to bring out a few times in the past.
*Photobombers can be fun, but you’ve gotta do something special to make it worth my while of taking the shot.
*Side note: Regulars are fun
Every venue has them. Once you’ve been working the same place for a while, you tend to get to know them. Sure there’s the regular trash, sleezebags and d*ckheads, but most of the time the regulars are pretty cool (otherwise they’d have been banned long ago).
It makes the job fun, and it means that when I’m rocking’ my small 40mm lens (that protrudes about 2cm from the camera body) instead of my normal 24-70 (that’s about 20cm+ long) and one of them asks, “Where’s your big… thing?” I can respond with, “It’s cold alright?” and it’s all good fun.
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