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Why Are You Giving Her That?

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  • Why Are You Giving Her That?

    My mother received a calendar from Farnam, a horse care company. It includes stickers for farrier care, horse shows, and visits to the vet. There are three problems: she doesn't own a horse; she has never owned a horse; and the city she lives in doesn't allow horses.

    Thanks for the calendar, Farnam.
    This site proves Corey Taylor right. Man really is a "four letter word."

    I'm now using my Deviant Art page to post my humor.

  • #2
    I keep getting things in the mail advertising State Farm Auto Insurance...even though I've never owned a vehicle and I've never been a licensed driver (for mental/emotional health reasons I cannot). Geez, don't they check their mailing lists? :P

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    • #3
      Quoth catcul View Post
      ... a horse care company...
      A) A horse laugh.
      B) A horse's ...
      C) "The old grey mare..."
      I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
      Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
      Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.

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      • #4
        Quoth Estil View Post
        I keep getting things in the mail advertising State Farm Auto Insurance...even though I've never owned a vehicle and I've never been a licensed driver (for mental/emotional health reasons I cannot). Geez, don't they check their mailing lists? :P
        Nope, LOL.

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        • #5
          As long as it's an attractive calendar (lots of pics of pretty horses, I presume?), no point in not using it. I've gotten odd calendars for things I don't follow (a New Age one once, and a Greenpeace one another year) and as long as the pictures are nice and not vulgar or gross, I see no sense in wasting a perfectly good calendar.
          I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
          My LiveJournal
          A page we can all agree with!

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          • #6
            I love being on a mailing list. The stuff I get is surreal. Someone thinks I buy scented candles, for instance, because I keep getting booklets about them, like clockwork, every month. Let's be clear on this - the only 'scented' candle I ever bought smelled like citronella. AOL keeps sending me shit - addressed to ME, personally - even though I haven't even considered an account with them in nearly 20 years. John Deere keeps sending me literature, too. No idea why.

            But the one that took the cake happened almost 30 years ago, when I was in the Navy. I went to mail call one day, and got a letter from the Army, telling me all the wonderful benefits of military service. Yes, that's right - the ARMY sent a recruitment packet to an FPO (Fleet Post Office) address, complete with rank and serial number! Gee guys, I'd love to enlist, but there's a little problem....

            Your tax dollars at work, folks.

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            • #7
              Quoth ADeMartino View Post
              ... the ARMY sent a recruitment packet to an FPO (Fleet Post Office) address...
              Tired of that sinking feeling? Just change your service!
              I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
              Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
              Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.

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              • #8
                Quoth dalesys View Post
                Tired of that sinking feeling? Just change your service!
                We promise you won't have to swab the deck, but you might have to dig a latrine.
                Supporting the idiots charged with protecting your personal information.

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                • #9
                  I've gotten catalogs for machinery and tools. The most "mechanical" thing I've ever done is replace a toilet lid. I clean the bathtub drain out with a pickle fork (well I used to....) No idea where they got my name.

                  When my sister was in high school she once got a catalog from Frederick's of Hollywood.
                  When you start at zero, everything's progress.

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                  • #10
                    I keep receiving lovely booklets from the UK Conservative Party addressed to me.

                    1) I've never signed up to anything of theirs.
                    2) I think their Prime Minister is a moron.
                    3) I'm on the opposite side of the political spectrum.

                    I never read them but I often go to the local library and leave them on the newspapers table.

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                    • #11
                      There's at least one mailing list out there that thinks I'm a 70+ year old female smoker. I've never smoked anything in my life, and I'm not even 40 yet. I'm also male.

                      Go figure.

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                      • #12
                        I've never owned a car, yet I keep getting Spam e-mails for car services and financing and shit.

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                        • #13
                          Quoth Monterey Jack View Post
                          I've never owned a car, yet I keep getting Spam e-mails for car services and financing and shit.
                          We used to get phone calls telling us that our car warranty was expiring and it needed to be renewed. The problem was that BOTH of our cars were old enough (10 and 9 years old at the time) AND bought used several years after the initial sale that ANY manufactores warranty had long since become deceased, dead, buried, snuffed and ceased to be alive anymore .

                          Always good for a laugh
                          I'm lost without a paddle and headed up SH*T creek.
                          -- Life Sucks Then You Die.


                          "I'll believe corp. are people when Texas executes one."

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                          • #14
                            Quoth Monterey Jack View Post
                            I've never owned a car, yet I keep getting Spam e-mails for car services and financing and shit.
                            I frequently get spam emails offering to enlarge a piece of anatomy I don't possess, and others offering to improve blood flow to it.
                            Pain and suffering are inevitable...misery is optional.

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                            • #15
                              Quoth Monterey Jack View Post
                              I've never owned a car, yet I keep getting Spam e-mails for car services and financing and shit.
                              Hope I'm allowed to do this:

                              The customer is always right until I decide he isn't.

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