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The company I work for used to be a bit more diversified than it is now, and used to have more products and services. Fortunately, that was long enough ago that none of those things are under warranty any longer. It sucks to have to tell people that their warranty is expired, and we don't carry or service their product any more, but most people are okay with it. Then you get the gold plated jackasses like this guy:
Sales rep tells me that SC is very upset and is demanding to speak to a manager. SR has tried to ascertain what this guy is upset about, but doesn't understand his complaint.
I take the call. The fun begins.
SC: "What the hell is wrong with you people?! Don't you believe in standing behind your work?"
Me: "Yes, sir. We do. What's going on?"
SC: "Your so-called professional fixed my door and now it doesn't work?"
Me: "Sir, are you sure you've got the right company? We don't repair doors."
SC: "The hell you don't! Your incompetent grunt was just out here and replaced the lock on my door!"
Ah! That is a service we used to offer. I look up the guys info. We changed a lock on his sliding glass door. Seven years ago. The warranty on our service has long since expired, but I will work with people within reason. I explain that to SC.
SC: "Well, get someone out here, pronto! I can't open my door!"
Me: "Is the lock jammed?"
SC: "The lock's fine. I told that idiot girl that the door won't open. You people need to communicate!"
Me: "Well, sir, usually when a sliding glass door won't open it's because the wheels are worn out."
SC: "Duh! Get someone out here to replace the wheels!
Me: "I'm sorry, sir. That's not a service we offer, but I can refer you to some door service companies."
SC: Snaps. Absolutely frothing at the mouth. "What?! I'm not paying some other company to fix your fuck-up! You WILL get someone out here. Today!"
Me: "Sir, I have your original work order in front of me. We replaced the lock on your door. That has nothing to do with the wheels."
SC "You were the last people to work on my door. Now it's not working, so you WILL fix it!"
Me: "No, sir. We WILL NOT fix it. We didn't sell it to you, we didn't service it for you, we have nothing to do with it. Furthermore, the warranty on the service we did provide, which was unrelated to your current problem, expired three years ago. We can't help you."
SC: "You WILL!"
Me: "Nope. Have a nice day." *hang up*
Jerk calls back. I'm prepared.
SC: "Either you get someone out here, or I'll sue!"
Me: "I'm sorry you feel that way, sir. Have your attorney contact ours. His number is ______"
SC: (A bit calmer)"So you're not going to do anything?"
Me: "No sir. As I've explained, we did nothing with, to or about the wheels on your door. We replaced the lock. Seven years ago. Expecting us to repair the broken wheels because we replaced the lock is like expecting the guy who fixed your car's transmission to replace a broken window...seven years later. It's simply not gonna happen."
SC: (Much calmer. Contrite, even.) "Can I have the numbers to those door repair companies?"
Me: "No, sir. You've insulted my staff, shouted at me and threatened me with a lawsuit. I don't feel comfortable referring you to anyone. Goodbye."
I was expecting to get into trouble with corporate for refusing to give him the referrals, but I really was not going to knowingly inflict this asshat on someone else. I never heard a word about, though.
Sales rep tells me that SC is very upset and is demanding to speak to a manager. SR has tried to ascertain what this guy is upset about, but doesn't understand his complaint.
I take the call. The fun begins.
SC: "What the hell is wrong with you people?! Don't you believe in standing behind your work?"
Me: "Yes, sir. We do. What's going on?"
SC: "Your so-called professional fixed my door and now it doesn't work?"
Me: "Sir, are you sure you've got the right company? We don't repair doors."
SC: "The hell you don't! Your incompetent grunt was just out here and replaced the lock on my door!"
Ah! That is a service we used to offer. I look up the guys info. We changed a lock on his sliding glass door. Seven years ago. The warranty on our service has long since expired, but I will work with people within reason. I explain that to SC.
SC: "Well, get someone out here, pronto! I can't open my door!"
Me: "Is the lock jammed?"
SC: "The lock's fine. I told that idiot girl that the door won't open. You people need to communicate!"
Me: "Well, sir, usually when a sliding glass door won't open it's because the wheels are worn out."
SC: "Duh! Get someone out here to replace the wheels!
Me: "I'm sorry, sir. That's not a service we offer, but I can refer you to some door service companies."
SC: Snaps. Absolutely frothing at the mouth. "What?! I'm not paying some other company to fix your fuck-up! You WILL get someone out here. Today!"
Me: "Sir, I have your original work order in front of me. We replaced the lock on your door. That has nothing to do with the wheels."
SC "You were the last people to work on my door. Now it's not working, so you WILL fix it!"
Me: "No, sir. We WILL NOT fix it. We didn't sell it to you, we didn't service it for you, we have nothing to do with it. Furthermore, the warranty on the service we did provide, which was unrelated to your current problem, expired three years ago. We can't help you."
SC: "You WILL!"
Me: "Nope. Have a nice day." *hang up*
Jerk calls back. I'm prepared.
SC: "Either you get someone out here, or I'll sue!"
Me: "I'm sorry you feel that way, sir. Have your attorney contact ours. His number is ______"
SC: (A bit calmer)"So you're not going to do anything?"
Me: "No sir. As I've explained, we did nothing with, to or about the wheels on your door. We replaced the lock. Seven years ago. Expecting us to repair the broken wheels because we replaced the lock is like expecting the guy who fixed your car's transmission to replace a broken window...seven years later. It's simply not gonna happen."
SC: (Much calmer. Contrite, even.) "Can I have the numbers to those door repair companies?"
Me: "No, sir. You've insulted my staff, shouted at me and threatened me with a lawsuit. I don't feel comfortable referring you to anyone. Goodbye."
I was expecting to get into trouble with corporate for refusing to give him the referrals, but I really was not going to knowingly inflict this asshat on someone else. I never heard a word about, though.
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