WTF is wrong with you?!

[NightWatch]

Right, so I recall stories from many of you about young children being dropped off at places such as movie theaters, game stores, etc for employees to babysit. Today I met the epitome. THE EPITOME!!

A woman calls in telling me she dropped her FOUR and EIGHT year old children off at a movie theater (this theater is on a busy street and not in a great neighborhood, as an added bonus) so they can go watch a movie BY THEMSELVES.

In case you didn't catch that... They're fucking 4 years and 8 years old!!

It gets better.

A man has a protective order against this woman and he was also at this movie theater when our lovely caller dropped off her 4 AND 8 YEAR CHILDREN!!! This man then took her children off the property and did god-knows-what with them.

Lady, what the hell is wrong with you? You know you could have avoided this whole damn situation by being a good parent. What's a good parent you ask? Not being one myself, I guess I can't really answer that. Although I'm -pretty fucking sure leaving a 4 year old to be babysat by an 8 year old at a movie theater on the shady side of town is not it!

Madam. I condemn you to the dark, desolate expanse of Nunavut. There you will be village mother, because this is the level of your parenting skills. May all your offspring be consumed by polar bears and penguins peck the eyes out of the survivors.

[Broomjockey]

Holy crap! Some twit ditches her kids, and some psycho took her kids? Did she get her kids back in one piece?

[NightWatch]

Yes she got them back just fine; she's actually the psycho one. He probably took them to find out if they were being abused and if he should report it to DCFS (child welfare group).

[Broomjockey]

Ah, well then, that's...I was about to say better, but not, really.

Reminds me of the time a lady left her 6-ish kid alone to watch a movie, showed up more than 20 minutes after the movie finished, reamed me out for not shutting down the theatre to help find her kid, then telling the kid that, and I quote "There's the nice man who didn't care if you were lost or not" on her way past after she found the kid and was leaving.

[NightWatch]

You should have said to the kid, "that's the nice slut lady who spawned you but had no desire to look after your well being." While pointing at his mom...

[Broomjockey]

If she hadn't said it while walking away, it had been less crowded, and I was less flabbergasted, I might have said something like that. As it was, I was completely floored. The only time a customer's actually managed to upset me on a personal level.

[NightWatch]

I'll take a dump in her mailbox for you BJ. Will that make you feel better?

[Broomjockey]

Well, it was a few years ago, so I'm over it now, so you don't need to. Really. *backs away slowly*

[NightWatch]

It's my generic threat, there's no violence involved, so no one can really peg me for threatening with violence. I dunno if there is a charge of "threatening with icky poo", so I think I'm safe.

[Broomjockey]

Some places, spitting is considered assault/battery due to possible biohazards. I imagine that would be something similar.

[NightWatch]

Why would you ruin my fun... I mean, can you imagine the look on someone's face when you say, "B*&% I'll s*&^ in your shoes!"?! They get so nervous and always back down. They don't know if you're joking or not.... How come everytime, you, EQ, Smiley or I get on a thread, we just forget about the OP and go off on our own little deluded discussions?

[Broomjockey]

'cause it's called "Thread drift" and it's a symptom of our collective ADD. I'm glad lately we've stuck to derailing our own threads instead of whatever random thread we meet in.

And sorry for ruining your fun, but you asked.

[NightWatch]

You enjoy making me cry. With the assuming anyone would love me, and the ruining my fun. What next BJ?!! What next?!

*plays with shinies*Yay carrots!

[Broomjockey]

I do NOT enjoy making you cry.

...it's an added benefit?
Gah, nope. Can't do it. Just don't like upsetting ladies. It's my NGS flaring up again. And I'm sure someone out there can love you! Like those coma patients! Oh geez, I feel bad for that one now.

[NightWatch]

You sir, have a serious case of hoofinmouth.