Customer Logic (website edition!)

[Cooper]

This is for all you website/social media managers. These are things I've had to change on the website because of customer logic. I'm sure you guys have better ones, so feel free to jump in.

1: Under boat rentals, there is a picture of one pontoon, one jetskii, and one water-bike. That must be all we rent. There are no other boats, ever.

Change: Put a slide-show in showing several boats we offer, including our worst (has carpet that is so worn you can see the wood, seats 10 ), and the best (has a radio, nice seats, decent carpet, seats 14.)

2: Because it is called a 'row-boat' it can only be rowed. (It has a motor.)

Change: Call it 'the minnow' and include a picture of the motor.

3: Because the prices say x, deposit not included, prices are just x. Deposit is optional. (This one I can understand.)

Change: Make the prices say "x + y".

So, what's yours?

[MoonCat]

1. Promotional ad in the newspaper showing an example of an ad for an apt. for rent. No phone number in the ad, of course, as it's just an example. People call our number and either want to know "what number to call for that apt." OR they think WE are renting the apt.

Change: Put a caption under it reading "Not an actual ad." Didn't help.

2. Promotional ad in the paper to get people to place ads. Says something like "Sell unwanted items and make some extra cash!" Then it goes on to tell you about a current rate or just tells you to call us to place your ad. People call up and ask how to "get that job selling unwanted items."

It hasn't been changed because people higher up than me decided we can't "dumb it down" any further.

[Chromatix]

To be perfectly honest, I would assume that a "rowing boat" wouldn't come with a motor either. I'd be thinking of these: http://www.conistonboatingcentre.co.uk/boathire/rowing

[Cole's Law]

I'd probably do the rowboat thing myself .

As far as #1 goes, I can sympathize with you. Back in my McD's days, countless people would assume if it didn't have a giant picture on our menu board, we didn't have it. This extended to assuming every value meal came with Coke and Coke only, resulting in them curiously asking if they could get Sprite instead, and showing immense relief when we 'granted' their request.

[Mr Hero]

Back in my college days, I was working at KFC. Our manager told us of a SC who could not comprehend that the pictures of mashed potatoes and coleslaw on the menu board were just placeholders and that he could actually have any two side dishes he chose. He got pissed and stormed out. It was weird.

[mjr]

Change: Call it 'the minnow' and include a picture of the motor.

So, what's yours?

"Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale,
a tale of a fateful trip..."

'The Minnow' wasn't used for 3 hour tours, was it??

[Cooper]

Haha, no, it's a little fishing boat. We named all our pontoons after fish on the lake, though we soon ran out of fish, so now we have a "bass" "largemouth" and "smallmouth" which are two variations of bass. And we have the unfortunately named Crappie (pronounced Croppie).

We deliberately picked the crappiest boat for that, so when people mispronounced it, they were still fairly accurate. XP

The jetskiis are named after flying insects. The non-motorized boats are named after water-animals, like turtles and swans.

We probably would have stuck with fish variations, but again, ran out of fish.

[Mytical]

Trout, rainbow trout, guppy, goldfish...

Hours of operation 8am-5pm M-F or by appointment. Must mean that it is only open 8am-5pm M-F...

Changing it to BY Appointment OR 8am-5pm M-F didn't help..people then thought it was only by appointment

Ring bell for assistance if guard is not at desk. Must mean that you should ring the bell at all times, repeatedly, even if the guard is staring right at you.

Change to "Guard has a gun, he will shoot you if you ring the bell and he is standing right there..otherwise feel free to ring the bell if guard is away." (Wonder if that would actually work).

[Salted Grump]

What, no Muskellunge?

[Cooper]

What, no Muskellunge?

oh dear god I wish I hadn't googled that....

[sms001]

Trout, rainbow trout, guppy, goldfish...

What, no Muskellunge?

named all our pontoons after fish on the lake,

oh dear god I wish I hadn't googled that....

lol. Yeah, Muskie are quite the beasts, eh?

"Guard has a gun, he will shoot you..." (Wonder if that would actually work).

Works great on the second person if you don't clean up too well after the first....

[Salted Grump]

Having gone Muskie fishing, I can safely say that there's next to nothing more exhilarating than hauling a Pike that weighs over 100 pounds and is as long as I am tall (over 6') out of the water, unhooking it with some strong pliers and chainmail gloves, Taking a picture, and relasing it so it can chow down on adult ducks.

It's a damned terrifying beastie up close, and being one of the largest freshwater predator fish means you treat that fucker with respect.

[Aethian]

It's a damned terrifying beastie up close, and being one of the largest freshwater predator fish means you treat that fucker with respect.

They are yummy too...

I've only seen people wrestling them out on tv and seen pictures of Grandpa with Mom holding a few. I don't think I would have the right amount of upper body strength to take one on. So much respect for doing just that.

[Mongo Skruddgemire]

oh dear god I wish I hadn't googled that....

Ugly suckers ain't they? Good fighting though. Get one of them on the line and you know you got a battle royale.

[PepperElf]

The minnow eh? Three hour tour?