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  • #31
    There's also my favorite: ADR Ain't Doin' Right
    Everything will be ok in the end. If it's not ok, it's not the end.

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    • #32
      These remind me of several Darwin awards. Incidentally, many of these stories did end up in the Darwin awards books.
      Customers should always be served . . . to the nearest great white.

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      • #33
        Heh, there was just a news story today of a female being processed where they found a 5-shot revolver in her lady-purse, and a baggie of meth in her poop-chute. Listening to TV reporters trying to describe it without using certain words was entertaining.
        The Rich keep getting richer because they keep doing what it was that made them rich. Ditto the Poor.
        "Hy kan tell dey is schmot qvestions, dey is makink my head hurt."
        Hoc spatio locantur.

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        • #34
          They called her Wild Fire....

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          • #35
            Quoth Amina516 View Post
            You wouldnt believe the many "I was naked" stories. Im pretty sure the last one was " I was climbing a tree naked and fell onto this shampoo bottle". Yeah, it was wedged in there pretty good. .
            I've known a lot of nurses. I believe it. However, I really don't know why so many people seem to choose shampoo bottles for their jollies.

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            • #36

              Million to one shot, doc!

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              • #37
                I understand there's an entire underworld organization that supplies bee-filled jars to people with that particular proclivity. It's not a small organization; in fact, it has honeycombed the entire nation. The FBI is buzzing with excitement over its plans to launch a sting operation against this organization. /here all week

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                • #38
                  Quoth Geek King View Post
                  Heh, there was just a news story today of a female being processed where they found a 5-shot revolver in her lady-purse, and a baggie of meth in her poop-chute. Listening to TV reporters trying to describe it without using certain words was entertaining.
                  Lady-purse? That's outstanding. I'll be shamelessly stealing that one...
                  Be a winner today: Pick a fight with a 4 year old.

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                  • #39
                    Quoth Alpha Strike View Post
                    Lady-purse? That's outstanding. I'll be shamelessly stealing that one...
                    I remember that term from the Bloodhound books by Tamora Pierce, they have an actual quote in that book "Did they search your Lady-purse" when they get caught and thrown in jail.
                    Tell a man there are 300 Billion stars in the universe and he’ll believe you.
                    Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he’ll have to touch to be sure.
                    -Unknown Author

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                    • #40
                      Quoth Amina516 View Post
                      The things I find in orifices.
                      That is one of the funniest things I've ever read. Oh gosh. Can't stop coughing. I would read this while sick.
                      The original Cookie in a multitude of cookies.

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                      • #41
                        Quoth Amina516 View Post
                        The things I find in orifices.
                        Very much resemble upper management.
                        I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
                        Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
                        Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.

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                        • #42
                          Quoth Lachrymose View Post
                          Hmmm...I wonder if she was related to this woman:

                          Police find gun hidden in suspect’s private part
                          Quoth Geek King View Post
                          Heh, there was just a news story today of a female being processed where they found a 5-shot revolver in her lady-purse
                          Actually, it's fairly common for a "gun" to be inserted there - but normally "gun" is in the context of a drill sergeant chewing out a recruit for calling their rifle a "gun".
                          Any fool can piss on the floor. It takes a talented SC to shit on the ceiling.

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