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How to GET hired...but then get fired before your first shift

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  • How to GET hired...but then get fired before your first shift

    - Apply for a job in a medium sized office building

    - Make it through two interviews and get hired

    - Proceed to screw up your tax paperwork three times

    - Proceed to screw up your new hire forms

    - Be so disorganized when trying to get your ID/access badge taken care of that you end up having to leave and return to the building THREE times in the same day.

    - Get a call the day before you're supposed to start saying to not bother coming in as management has decided that you "probably won't work out".
    "If we refund your money, give you a free replacement and shoot the manager, then will you be happy?" - sign seen in a restaurant

  • #2
    Quoth CrazedClerkthe2nd View Post

    - Get a call the day before you're supposed to start saying to not bother coming in as management has decided that you "probably won't work out".
    Purely based on tall the screw ups?

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    • #3
      Wow. I don't even know what to say about that.
      "Is it hot in here to you? It's very warm, isn't it?"--Nero, probably

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      • #4
        I have had people QUIT in the middle of filling out new hire paperwork, but never fired anyone before their first shift!

        It was actually a real pain, since people got clocked in to do their paperwork, so we had to hope they filled out the required IRS forms before they decided that there was too much to do.

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        • #5
          Quoth Raveni View Post
          I have had people QUIT in the middle of filling out new hire paperwork, but never fired anyone before their first shift!

          It was actually a real pain, since people got clocked in to do their paperwork, so we had to hope they filled out the required IRS forms before they decided that there was too much to do.
          Really? That's just...stupid. On the plus side you are probably better off without them. And I don't think anyone would blame you if you didn't pay them till they filled out the rlevant IRS paperwork.
          Life: Reality TV for deities. - dalesys

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          • #6
            There were a few people who went through the interview process, got hired, did all the required paperwork and stuff [ which is their techincal 'first day on the job' ] , worked one to two days, then don't bother showing up afterwards. In reality that just seems like a waste of time on everyone's part if they decide to up and quit within the first week.

            I keep telling management to let me do the interview, I guarentee that 95% of the people who are in the interview won't make it past the first ten minutes.
            Eh, one day I'll have something useful here. Until then, have a cookie or two.

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            • #7
              Quoth muppet101 View Post
              Purely based on tall the screw ups?
              Yep. I mean really, if you can't follow simple instructions to the point where you have to redo things MULTIPLE times...that might give your new employers cause for concern.

              Evidently the interviewing process didn't require much in the way of paperwork or organization.
              "If we refund your money, give you a free replacement and shoot the manager, then will you be happy?" - sign seen in a restaurant

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              • #8
                My brain just exploded.

                Oh, the stupid. How it hurts.
                They say that God only gives us what we can handle. Apparently, God thinks I'm a bad ass.

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                • #9
                  By the 'tax forms' I presume you mean the W-4's. How do you screw up those?
                  I'm trying to see things from your point of view, but I can't get my head that far up my keister!

                  Who is John Galt?
                  -Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged

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                  • #10
                    Quoth taxguykarl View Post
                    By the 'tax forms' I presume you mean the W-4's. How do you screw up those?
                    I managed to have to redo a tax form several times because of how stringent the person collecting them was.

                    Basically, I write my 7's by crossing them. She didn't believe that was an acceptable way to write 7's, and it took me a few tries to not automatically cross my 7. Pissed me off, and pissed her boss off too. He was not pleased with the wasted paper and my wasted time.
                    My Writing Blog -Updated 05/06/2013
                    It's so I can get ideas out of my head, I decided to put it in a blog in case people are bored or are curious as to the (many) things in progress.

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                    • #11
                      Quoth AmbrosiaWriter View Post
                      I managed to have to redo a tax form several times because of how stringent the person collecting them was.

                      Basically, I write my 7's by crossing them. She didn't believe that was an acceptable way to write 7's, and it took me a few tries to not automatically cross my 7. Pissed me off, and pissed her boss off too. He was not pleased with the wasted paper and my wasted time.
                      OK, now my brainstem exploded.

                      Fortunately, I have no nervous system left to feel the pain.
                      They say that God only gives us what we can handle. Apparently, God thinks I'm a bad ass.

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                      • #12
                        I *double* cross my 7s - mostly to distinguish them well from 1s, which in turn are clearly not Is or l's. Most people don't have any problem with that.

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                        • #13
                          Quoth taxguykarl View Post
                          By the 'tax forms' I presume you mean the W-4's. How do you screw up those?
                          Forget which name you're using in that state?
                          The Rich keep getting richer because they keep doing what it was that made them rich. Ditto the Poor.
                          "Hy kan tell dey is schmot qvestions, dey is makink my head hurt."
                          Hoc spatio locantur.

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