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Woes of a Dispatcher - It's 1980 Something (LONG)

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  • Woes of a Dispatcher - It's 1980 Something (LONG)

    Make sure you're not drinking or eating anything as you read this as I don't want you to choke or kill your computer with moisture.

    You're welcome.

    Any who, the story starts as it always does, a motor club calls us for a lockout. As a good little dispatcher drone, I pick a driver and send him on his blissfully unaware way to the land of confusion.

    The call is a Lockout. This means usually either the FOB isn't working to open the car or they don't have their keys. Where are they you ask? On the moon, in a river, lost in Winterfell...up Grandma's skirt. Who knows?

    The driver arrives onscene, tells me so then hangs up. Do do do ..typing away doing nothing then ...GASP! The phone rings.

    "Uh, we have a problem. They're standing here with the keys in hand, " said our perplexed driver.

    Remember, I said no eating or drinking.

    "So, what's the issue then? FOB not working..oh wait this car is a 90's model. No FOB?,' asked our daring dispatcher.

    "Oh the keys work fine as she used them to open the door for me to show me the problem. You see, she owns 'The Club' and lost the key to unlock it," spke with the most amount of confusion a 23 year old could muster.

    THE CLUB

    Unfortunately, we could not help the owner of this antique anti-theft system which she stated she had since it came out. The reason being also the reason why it's not sold with much gusto anymore because to remove it would be to either saw it off or saw through her steering wheel (which anyone including car thieves can do). She'd have to be towed

    If you've stayed with me this long just wait, the best is yet to come. She sighed heavily, told the driver she would call her friend who was 30 mins away to get her spare she kept in her house, and wait. The driver bid her farewell but not before she let out this little gem:

    She usually kept the key in the cupholder IN THE CAR while she used the club to lock up to go to her errands and didn't know why it wasn't still in there.


    This is why we are here. To save people like her.

  • #2
    Quoth JarethsPet View Post
    ... This is why we are here. To save people like her.
    Bad Darwin!
    I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
    Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
    Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.

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    • #3
      That reminds me of the ancient Krooklok we had on the car wheel when I was a kid.
      The fact it was a Lada and the only people who would want to take it were Skoda owners with delusions of grandeur mattered not a jot....
      The Copyright Monster has made me tell you that my avatar is courtesy of the wonderful Alice XZ.And you don't want to annoy the Copyright Monster.

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      • #4
        Quoth Kit-Ginevra View Post
        ... The fact it was a Lada and the only people who would want to take it were Skoda owners with delusions of grandeur mattered not a jot....
        Or civic beautification activists. Whatever happened to my Citroen?
        I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
        Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
        Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.

        Comment


        • #5
          I haven't seen a club in years, literally.

          THe last one was almost nine years ago, in a car I was towing away for illegal parking.

          Bet the owner positively shat bricks when he/she came back, dumbfounded as to how someone could have run off with the vehicle, it had the magic no-taking stick!
          - They say nothing good happens at 2AM, they're right, I happen at 2AM.

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          • #6
            Does she mean she kept her Club keys in the cup holder so she could lock the no-takie stick, then take the keys with her? But she forgot to grab them this time and realized she must have left them at home or something? Because that kind of makes sense.

            Also, even if she meant the Club keys were in the cup holder the entire time, it's not entirely (just partially) stupid. Almost all car thefts happen as crimes of opportunity for which the perps look for the path of lease resistance. The ideal "take me" car would be one where the owner leaves the key in the ignition.

            If a car thief unlocked the Club but the owner had the ignition keys, Thief would still have to hotwire the car, which, if this was a high-traffic area, imposes greater risks of getting caught. From what I have read, most car thieves decide which car to take by a quick glance of "keys or no keys" and seeing the Club may have worked as a deterrent.
            "I try to be curious about everything, even things that don't interest me." -Alex Trebek

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            • #7
              I had the Club for one of my vehicles, but I hated the damn thing. It spent more time in the back seat than anywhere else. It wasn't a matter of forgetting my keys - I just found it really clunky to even install. Besides, I drove a POS car where the Club was probably worth more than the vehicle it was meant to protect.

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              • #8
                like my other thread...and here's your sign.
                AkaiKitsune
                Sarcasm dear, sarcasm. I’m well aware that dealing with civilians in any capacity will skin your faith in humanity alive, then pickle anything that remains so as to watch it shrivel up into an immortal husk thus reminding you of how dead inside you now are.

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                • #9
                  Quoth Argabarga View Post
                  I haven't seen a club in years, literally.

                  THe last one was almost nine years ago, in a car I was towing away for illegal parking.

                  Bet the owner positively shat bricks when he/she came back, dumbfounded as to how someone could have run off with the vehicle, it had the magic no-taking stick!
                  She/He could have tried to at least turn the wheels all the way to one side so it was a difficult slide but alas she/he didn't think that far ahead

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                  • #10
                    Quoth WishfulSpirit View Post
                    Does she mean she kept her Club keys in the cup holder so she could lock the no-takie stick, then take the keys with her? But she forgot to grab them this time and realized she must have left them at home or something? Because that kind of makes sense.

                    Also, even if she meant the Club keys were in the cup holder the entire time, it's not entirely (just partially) stupid. Almost all car thefts happen as crimes of opportunity for which the perps look for the path of lease resistance. The ideal "take me" car would be one where the owner leaves the key in the ignition.

                    If a car thief unlocked the Club but the owner had the ignition keys, Thief would still have to hotwire the car, which, if this was a high-traffic area, imposes greater risks of getting caught. From what I have read, most car thieves decide which car to take by a quick glance of "keys or no keys" and seeing the Club may have worked as a deterrent.
                    She would attach the club to her steering wheel for security purposes and then put the keys to the now locked club in her center cup holder in plain view of everyone walking by. She explained to the driver that she always kept them in there and couldn't understand why they were gone now.

                    But you make a very, very good point here and I'm glad you pointed it out to me. Maybe, just maybe she was smarter then the both of us.

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