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How about you shut up and let me do my job

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  • How about you shut up and let me do my job

    I'm in to repair a lock. It's a simple matter of tightening a screw if these people could either get off their ass, do some simple troubleshooting, and tighten it themselves, or call me in when the problem starts. But instead they never call me in until it fails completely.

    I take a look and see that the screw and catch have fallen off. A quick look and I find the catch, now I only have to find the screw. I explain to the user that a screw has fallen out, I have to look in her drawer to see if it fell in there. Shortly after, she demands to know why I am looking in her drawer. Sorry, I just said that I have to look in your drawer, when you acknowledged me, I assumed you understood. So now I have to re-explain what I'm looking for. Well there is no way that it's in there because the cabinet was empty when she came to the cubicle, she looked for the screw and it wasn't there. Okay, well you didn't see the catch, isn't it possible that you didn't see a tiny black screw in the black drawer. Nope, that's impossible. Allrightythen, well sometimes they fall behind the drawer, so I'm just going to take a peek. I get to work, and have to put up with her crawling up my ass the whole time telling me that it's a waste of time. I desperately want to find this thing just to shut her up and prove her wrong, but I have no luck. I have to stop myself from slapping the smug "told you so" look off of her face.

    But it doesn't stop here. I don't want to have to deal with this conceited bitch again, so I decide to steal a part from a vacant cubicle. I'm back and have it repaired in seconds. All I need is for her to turn the key to make sure it's locking properly. Okay, well she's got to shut down her computer, straighten out her paperwork, close her books, pull her chair out, brush her teeth, comb her hair, pick up her dry cleaning, get the car washed..... LADY, just turn the fucking key!!!! Finally, she turns the key. Yes, she knows that the key turns, but it's not locking. Yes it is locking, pull the handle. No, there's no need to do that, she knows it doesn't lock. I JUST FIXED IT! No you didn't, you don't have the part. I took the part from over there, it's fixed, pull the fucking handle! HUH??????? Oh, it's fixed. Wow that was fast. Yeah, would have been if I didn't have to put up with you this whole time.
    D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.
    Quoth = Crossbow "EvilHomer, Irv, Gravekeeper, and Seraph: the Four Horsemen of the Dumbpocalypse."

  • #2
    I might have lost it. You have amazing restraint.

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    • #3
      Quoth Shyla View Post
      I might have lost it. You have amazing restraint.
      I hear the padded leather ones like the hospitals use work pretty well most of the time...
      You're only delaying the inevitable, you run at your own expense. The repo man gets paid to chase you. ~Argabarga

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      • #4
        Reminds me of the time I flipped on my boss...

        At the time--many years ago--online trading was becoming the next big thing. While most business was done over the phone, we were starting to see an increase online. So it was my job to make sure that the dedicated terminal would actually function the way it was supposed to. One afternoon, it failed. As I'm trying to fix it, my boss just wouldn't let me. Keep in mind that I'm actually *under* a desk at the time, and had to pop up every few minutes when he called me.

        Nothing important, just constant "why isn't this done" or "isn't it fixed yet?" or "why is it taking so long" comments from him. After being interrupted for the 500th time, I lost it. I replied with a "what the FUCK do you want now?" His reply? "I guess this can wait..."

        I'm still surprised that I didn't get fired for my comment, or at least get called into his office.
        Aerodynamics are for people who can't build engines. --Enzo Ferrari

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        • #5
          Probably realised his mistake

          Comment


          • #6
            I never get why people think that bothering and pestering is an efficient way to get things done.
            D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.
            Quoth = Crossbow "EvilHomer, Irv, Gravekeeper, and Seraph: the Four Horsemen of the Dumbpocalypse."

            Comment


            • #7
              Quoth evilhomer View Post
              I never get why people think that bothering and pestering is an efficient way to get things done.
              I had a customer that was worse than a child on a long trip. (Are we there yet? Are we there yet? How about now, are we there yet?) He would give me a job, and even if I said it was going to take 5 or 6 hours he would be back every half hour to check on the progress. The problem with him doing that was that I would loose my train of thought and most times have to start over.

              I remember the conversation I had with him once about a job he wanted done NOW! (Right now, not later - right now. The world will end if it's not done now). So the conversation went like this:-

              SC: How long will it take?
              Me: I'm going to have to look at the structure of the database first to see what I will have to do. So I'll have some idea after I've done that.
              SC: So when will you know?
              Me: I don't know until I look at it.
              SC: So when will that be?
              Me: Don't know.
              SC: When will you know?
              Me: When I come to see you with the answer.
              SC: So when will that be?
              Me: Later.
              SC: But when?

              What was even worse was when he would stand there waiting for me to start so he could look over my shoulder while I worked. Of course I never did any work while he was there. And when he asked me what I was waiting for I would always reply "For you to leave."

              Eventually every time he came to see me I would tell him that the job would now not be finished until tomorrow, because of all the interruptions. Even then he didn't get it.

              Comment


              • #8
                Quoth protege View Post
                Nothing important, just constant "why isn't this done" or "isn't it fixed yet?" or "why is it taking so long" comments from him.
                "Why isn't this done?" - "Because I haven't finished yet."

                "Isn't it fixed yet?" - "Yes, but I thought I'd catch a nap under here now I'm done."

                "Why is it taking so long?" - "Because I have to keep stopping my work to answer idiot questions."

                If only, if only...
                "It is traditional when asking for help or advice to listen to the answers you receive" - RealUnimportant

                Rev that Engine Louder, I Can't Hear How Small Your Dick Is - Jay 2K Winger

                The Darwin Awards The best site to visit to restore your faith in instant karma.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Quoth gerund View Post
                  SC: So when will you know?
                  Me: I don't know until I look at it.
                  SC: So when will that be?
                  Me: Don't know.
                  This conversation brought back a repressed memory of a customer experience where I literally had to be restrained to prevent me from attacking him.

                  From the very first phone call where he identified his product as "sound sticks", he was a pain in the ass. They are speakers asshole, "sound sticks" is the product name that the manufacturer chose to give to these speakers. Nope, these are sound sticks, not this inferior "speaker" to which you refer. But if that was the biggest headache, it wouldn't be memorable. No, the real treat came at 6:05, five minutes after closing, 15 minutes after he absolutely, positively promised me that he would be there. Okay, no big deal, let's just punch this in and be on our way:

                  SC: but I need the estimate right now, you told me you could do that
                  Me: No I didn't
                  SC: Yes you did
                  Me: I'm sorry if that's what you think you heard, but there is no way I said that.
                  SC: Fine, how much will it be?
                  Me: Well there's a $15 charge for the estimate, and the technician will diagnose the problem
                  SC: But how much will it be?
                  Me: As I just said, there is a $15 charge for the estimate
                  SC: But how much will it cost to fix them?

                  This carried on for over half an hour, at one point I actually did shout at him because he was not willing to spend more than $10, THE MINIMUM CHARGE IS $15. But he wouldn't process this information.

                  Eventually I got him to stop by refusing to continue with the argument. He left, but went to the other department to complain about me. I caught him as he was leaving there and must have been in attack mode because one of the guys there literally grabbed me and pulled me back. One of my worst customers ever.
                  D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.
                  Quoth = Crossbow "EvilHomer, Irv, Gravekeeper, and Seraph: the Four Horsemen of the Dumbpocalypse."

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Had one of those moments once with Ol' Scarface Herself at the wholesale club. One of the managers had tasked me with assembling some display piece. Which was a complicated enough job, but I happily took it because it would keep me occupied and I was given permission to ignore Herself's attempts to get me to hop on register or do anything else. The manager actually told me, "This is your priority."

                    So there were a number of times during the assembly when she would ask, "Are you done yet?" And I'd tell her no.

                    Eventually it became:

                    Herself: "Are you done yet?"
                    J2K: "Nope. Stop asking."
                    PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

                    There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!

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                    • #11
                      Quoth evilhomer View Post
                      I never get why people think that bothering and pestering is an efficient way to get things done.
                      Control freaks. I've worked for people like this before, and it has always seemed to me that they honestly believe that NO work can get done without their constant presence and input. Thus, in their warped little minds, their interrupting you and asking if you're done yet is their way of helping you get done faster, and damn any glaringly blatant evidence to the contrary!
                      "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
                      "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
                      "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
                      "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
                      "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
                      "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
                      Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
                      "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

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                      • #12
                        Quoth evilhomer View Post
                        SC: Fine, how much will it be?
                        Me: Well there's a $15 charge for the estimate, and the technician will diagnose the problem
                        SC: But how much will it be?
                        That is called an ESTIMATE, and it will cost you $15 to find out how much it will be!

                        Here, let me get you a dictionary, open it to the word ESTIMATE, and very politely refrain from pummeling you about the head and shoulders with it until you sprout a CLUE!!
                        “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged.
                        One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world.
                        The other, of course, involves orcs." -- John Rogers

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Quoth evilhomer View Post
                          I never get why people think that bothering and pestering is an efficient way to get things done.
                          The downstream production department where I work has gotten into the habit of riding us when the job is 9/10 finished, because they think that the quick turnaround means they're being rewarded for their vigilance and we were all sitting around playing pinochle until they rang us up and set us straight. Meanwhile we've all been frantically working to get their jobs down under the deadline, and their call does nothing but delay us.

                          Earlier today we had the manager of the downline production department in here ranting because we hadn't received an element from a customer. Once we had him satisfied that standing there ranting wasn't going to make the customer hoof it any faster, he returned to his own department. The phone rang literally in the time it took him to walk from our office to his.

                          It's pretty well documented that they have no idea how long any particular job takes, and I have straight up told other managers that "The only thing slowing down this job right now is you."

                          So they've trained themselves that "Cracking the whip makes stuff happen." I bet they press elevator buttons 15 times, too.

                          Quoth gerund View Post
                          ...
                          Me: When I come to see you with the answer.
                          SC: So when will that be?
                          Me: Later.
                          SC: But when?
                          These ended when I caught myself openly ridiculing a manager without realizing it. He was doing that "When will you be done?" "I don't know." "When will you know?" thing, and I just burst out laughing.

                          "Seriously?" I said. "You want to know when I'll know when I'll be done?"

                          He sounded a bit embarrassed, but he did persist. I pulled a time out of a hat that was way more than I'd need to gather the resources I needed, and he went away happy. I think they just get so desperate for an answer that they just want you to say SOMETHING, to make them feel better. It has nothing to do with the job, they just don't want to leave unsatisfied.
                          Last edited by EricKei; 11-21-2017, 12:47 PM. Reason: merged consecutive posts/trimmed quote

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                          • #14
                            And yet all I can think is that https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5drjr9PmTMA is relevant at about the 1:30 mark...
                            Cheap, fast, good. Pick two.
                            They want us to read minds, I want read/write.

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                            • #15
                              I used to get this. I'd be typing away, trying to finish transcribing a rush dictation, and the phone would ring. I'd have to stop to answer it, and invariably it was a doctor who'd already called twice to find out if I was finished yet. Finally he asked, "Can I do anything to expedite this?" I told him to stop calling me, because I was the only one working that night, and every time he called I had to stop working and answer the phone. To his credit he actually apologized and stopped calling. It was a long dictation anyway, and for every 15 minutes of dictation it was about an hour of typing, and someone badgering me to finish isn't going to make me type any faster. Then there was the guy who gave me six hours of taped interviews, and told me he wanted them the next morning. I told him it wasn't going to happen, as six hours of dictation takes approximately 24 hours to transcribe, and if he thought I was staying overnight to type his interviews he was sadly mistaken. People who don't (or won't) understand how long a job actually takes are annoying.

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