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Let's get one thing straight first. I do not hate kids. I am just a real hardass towards them. Every time I take one step into a shopping centre and hear a kid having a tantrum, I face-palm. I know kids have short attention spans, but I just can't handle it. Anyway, this happened on my shift today, and all in the first hour.
The first table had like a three or four year old and he kept sitting in the empty table next to them. It took a while to pry him out, but not before he played with the bowls and chopsticks. This wasn't as bad as the last kid who tried to climb over into the next booth, but still.
The next table had two little shits, one good kid and and a dad and maybe an uncle. The first one was about eight in a blue shirt, and possibly the most obnoxious piece of wasted life I have ever seen. No 'please' or 'thank you's, just 'can I have this' or 'i want it, i want it'. He made sounds out loud that was gonna make me snap before he stopped and the cherry on top came when the family was leaving.
The little douchebag was playing on his dad's iphone outside, in front of the freaking door. He saw me and I got him to move to one side, then he moved in front of the door again. Next he opened the door, put himself in between the gap and started making donkey noises. A customer was about to come in so I raised my voice a little and made him GET OUT OF THE FREAKING DOOR. It was only then did the dad move his ass and reign his kids in. I didn't raise my voice that high, but if I could have, I would have yelled at the little shit.
The next kid was from the same table and did the most unbelievable thing ever in my time at the restaurant. While the family was still eating, we lost track of her for one second and then heard an almighty crash. The little rat snuck under one of the booth tables and pulled the table cloth down, towards the seat. The seat was covered in sauce and I was seriously about to shout at the top of my lungs:
GOD FUCKING DAMMITT!!!!!
I ran over to the table and asked if the kid was alright, but what I really wanted to do was shout:
YOU LITTLE SHIT!
And then:
We had to re-set the table and change the cushions on the seat.
I don't want to push parents to reign in their kids, but they could take just a little responsibility. Kids are among one of the many types of customers I hate. I'm afraid that if I have kids, I'll be as hard on them as I am now. I know kids aren't that developed in the mind, but there needs to come a time when they're whipped into shape. Again, I. DO NOT. HATE. KIDS. I am just a hardass.
The first table had like a three or four year old and he kept sitting in the empty table next to them. It took a while to pry him out, but not before he played with the bowls and chopsticks. This wasn't as bad as the last kid who tried to climb over into the next booth, but still.
The next table had two little shits, one good kid and and a dad and maybe an uncle. The first one was about eight in a blue shirt, and possibly the most obnoxious piece of wasted life I have ever seen. No 'please' or 'thank you's, just 'can I have this' or 'i want it, i want it'. He made sounds out loud that was gonna make me snap before he stopped and the cherry on top came when the family was leaving.
The little douchebag was playing on his dad's iphone outside, in front of the freaking door. He saw me and I got him to move to one side, then he moved in front of the door again. Next he opened the door, put himself in between the gap and started making donkey noises. A customer was about to come in so I raised my voice a little and made him GET OUT OF THE FREAKING DOOR. It was only then did the dad move his ass and reign his kids in. I didn't raise my voice that high, but if I could have, I would have yelled at the little shit.
The next kid was from the same table and did the most unbelievable thing ever in my time at the restaurant. While the family was still eating, we lost track of her for one second and then heard an almighty crash. The little rat snuck under one of the booth tables and pulled the table cloth down, towards the seat. The seat was covered in sauce and I was seriously about to shout at the top of my lungs:
GOD FUCKING DAMMITT!!!!!
I ran over to the table and asked if the kid was alright, but what I really wanted to do was shout:
YOU LITTLE SHIT!
And then:
We had to re-set the table and change the cushions on the seat.
I don't want to push parents to reign in their kids, but they could take just a little responsibility. Kids are among one of the many types of customers I hate. I'm afraid that if I have kids, I'll be as hard on them as I am now. I know kids aren't that developed in the mind, but there needs to come a time when they're whipped into shape. Again, I. DO NOT. HATE. KIDS. I am just a hardass.
Will we have to burro in for some more puns? 
I assume my thinking was that the latter makes sense in describing the powers an absolute monarch has. On the other hand, we have several horses, so you'd think Angel (a, er, slightly sarcastic name at best) taking me for a romp of her choosing would have bounced the correct metaphor into me at some point.
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