Stuck and Frustrated (Long, but Please Help!)

[SourRobot]

I should be happy right now. I got a job for a non-retail position, and I start in two weeks. I've already put in my two weeks notice, and at one time I considered going to on call at my job because a couple managers were trying to convince me to do that. So I almost decided to do that, but then thought against it and stuck with my decision to leave.

Well, during that time, another manager came over and asked if I wanted to work early mornings with her. For some reason I kind of agreed to it. Well, I thought it over, and the next day I told her that I wouldn't be able to do it because it would cause problems with my schedule. Not necessarily that it's cutting too close to my new schedule, but that it will interfere with my sleep. If I agree to do this, I will do my job in the afternoon, be done after midnight, get about 3-4 hours of sleep, get up, work for 4 hours, then sleep another 3-4 hours, then do the afternoon job. I do not want to do that. I told her this, and despite my explanations, she really wanted me to stay and work for her. She's even working with my schedule, and I'm only going to be there for four days out of the week.

Keep in mind this has happened within the last three days, so I'm really cutting it close. I had plans to rest and to get any last minute things out of the way, and finally enjoy an actual weekend off, but now I'm going to have to come in on Sunday morning. Even today I asked her and another morning crew member about getting in on Sunday to start working, so now it'll be odd if I change my mind "out of the blue."

The main reason why it's so hard for me to make this decision is money. I'm so in debt right now that any extra money I can make will help me out and allow me to save for the future. It's also extremely hard for me to find a job. It took me three years to find something better, and the only reason why I lucked out is because a friend worked for the company and sent me the application. The part time job will help me make money on the side while my new job will take care of the big bills. Also, I've been with the company for so long that I don't want to leave on the wrong note, and I feel bad for constantly changing my mind about the situation. I keep telling myself that it's only three days out of the week. On the other hand, I just want to be done with this company! I want to move on to other things!

I'm freaking out right now because I'm going to have to confront someone about this, and I really don't want to have to deal with it. I was planning on calling the office tomorrow and telling the scheduling manager to leave my status as is, that I'm not going to do the morning shifts, but I'm worried that she'll just tell me to talk to the manager who wants to keep me. This sucks, I was planning on today being my last day, and I can't even enjoy it. I know that even with the phone I'll have to make that it's going to be horribly unpleasant.


Is there anyone out there who has gone through something similar? I know a lot of you guys reading this will think of how easy it is to just tell her no and then leave it at that, or perhaps some of you will even say to just not show up and not answer their calls (which I'm seriously considering, since I don't plan on ever setting foot in that store again if I do decide not to go through with the job), but I've spent so many years at that place that it's a bit tough to just do all that. I don't know if I'm looking for advice or just someone to tell me their experience. My mom's already told me what to do, and if I don't go through with it she'll be upset with me yet again. I'm kind of thinking about just putting up with it and showing up on Sunday, but right now I have no idea what to do. I can't help but feel like any decision I make is the wrong one.


By the way, when your last day passes, shouldn't you be out of the system and off the schedule? Our schedules updated today, and even though I don't have anything next week (because people picked up all the shifts I advertised), I now have shifts for the next two weeks after that. I don't remember that happening the first time I quit my job at this same place (different town).

[Food Lady]

I've always technically been part-time at my job, even though I work around 30 hours a week. I've had a few side jobs, which ended up being full-time, while my main job became more part-time. I've stayed with this company because I knew the other jobs might not work out. Do I want to leave? Yes. But the reality is that with the economy the way it is, there's always the chance--even if I finished school--that I'd have to come back to some kind of retail. I'd rather this job be in the background since other ones are not going to pay me nearly as much, as I have seniority and experience.

[NecessaryCatharsis]

I've worked a similar schedule to what you are describing (2 smaller sleeps through the day, with a 8 hour shift, 1 hour to eat etc, 4 hour shift, 4 hour sleep, 3 hour shift, 3 hour sleep 1 hour to shower, eat etc). Once I got used to it, I didn't find the schedule a problem at all, although I had to maintain the sleep schedule somewhat on my days off or I would start to get tired. So if you want to pursue the part time gig, it is doable.

I've also quit jobs that react the way you describe, and I suspect you will not be rid of this job unless you put down your foot. Stop being nice about it when managers ask about your availability or whatever. If you say I cant do it because of X that invites them to try to solve that problem, and work out a solution that works for them and negates your concern. If you want to be gone, just say, no, I'm leaving, I wont be available for that. It is hard, if you are trying to please them (I suspect you are or they wouldn't be so worried about you leaving), but that is the only way to get it done.

I think the bigger thing is you are going to have to decide what to do. Not what your manager, or your mom, or what we here want you to do, but what you should do. Figure out if the debt or the lost personal time to the PT work is going to weigh on your mind more, make a decision and stick with it.

A few points
- 3 days notice is not much to tell them you wont be in Sunday, if you want to leave on a good note, or get a reference

- If you don't want the part time hours, it is still possible to give notice for that availability (so give notice, work mornings for a couple weeks, then just be at the full time job.)

- If you do leave on a good note that door may be open to you if you want to pick up some hours for Christmas money or something, or if you need a full time job in the future, not to mention getting a reference if you decide to move on from the new job

- If you decide now to keep working part time it will be easier to change your mind in the future, if you decide now not to keep working at the part time it could be challenging or impossible to change your mind in the future

- If you are not a person that can do well with limited sleep until you adjust to the new schedule keeping the part time job could affect the performance at your new job negatively

- If I left a job by just not going in anymore, I would look back on that with regret, and feel like I hadn't done well with that decision. That is just me. If you would feel the same that should be included in your decision, regrets eat at you over time.

Looking back at that it seems all over the place, but I really don't know what you should do, except that you need to make a decision. Good luck.

[Android Kaeli]

The first eight months I worked at the Warehouse I also worked during the very early morning shifts at Random Craft Store. More often then not I'd be up at one or two am, be at the craft place at 3 or 4 am, work until 8 or 10 am, then go home to attempt to take a half hour to hour nap, be at the Warehouse between noon-1 pm, then go home at 9 or 10 AT NIGHT before starting all over the next day. Some nights I'd get, at most, two hours of sleep AT THE MOST, work five to seven hours at one job, try to take a short nap, then go to the NEXT JOB for seven to nine hours before coming home again and doing it all over again.

After Christmas of that year I told the roommate I had enough of this bullshit because I was barely getting enough sleep, I didn't count the only day off I had during the week as a day off, and I really just wanted to get away from the craft place as soon as I felt comfortable that I wasn't going to be put out from the Warehouse. I felt the same way you did with Random Craft Store: I've spent too many years at this place and didn't want to leave because I felt like I'd be leaving them all in the lurch. So I did what I thought was best: two days a week at the most, no going over it, no scheduling me to do any other days, and if I have to leave before my scheduled time, it's best not to get in my way. Because I have to go to my other job.

As of right now I feel comfortable with me having more hours at the Warehouse and going in only ONE DAY a week at Random Craft Store. Because I know I am in a position where I am comfortable that I won't be put out of it, because even though there's still a lot of BS going around I still feel as though I'm valued. That I don't have to go chasing management around to get me to do any yearly evaluations, or whatever.

Any advice I have is that you should do what you THINK is the most reasonable and most comfortable thing to do. Because even if you've been at one place for a long time, most of the time that doesn't mean shit to anyone.

[SourRobot]

I've always technically been part-time at my job, even though I work around 30 hours a week. I've had a few side jobs, which ended up being full-time, while my main job became more part-time. I've stayed with this company because I knew the other jobs might not work out. Do I want to leave? Yes. But the reality is that with the economy the way it is, there's always the chance--even if I finished school--that I'd have to come back to some kind of retail. I'd rather this job be in the background since other ones are not going to pay me nearly as much, as I have seniority and experience.

I know that the economy is bad and all, and I'm considering staying since it's easier to quit and then find another part time job later on. With my experience, it's extremely hard for me to find other jobs.

I've worked a similar schedule to what you are describing (2 smaller sleeps through the day, with a 8 hour shift, 1 hour to eat etc, 4 hour shift, 4 hour sleep, 3 hour shift, 3 hour sleep 1 hour to shower, eat etc). Once I got used to it, I didn't find the schedule a problem at all, although I had to maintain the sleep schedule somewhat on my days off or I would start to get tired. So if you want to pursue the part time gig, it is doable.

I think the bigger thing is you are going to have to decide what to do. Not what your manager, or your mom, or what we here want you to do, but what you should do. Figure out if the debt or the lost personal time to the PT work is going to weigh on your mind more, make a decision and stick with it.

A few points
- 3 days notice is not much to tell them you wont be in Sunday, if you want to leave on a good note, or get a reference

- If you decide now to keep working part time it will be easier to change your mind in the future, if you decide now not to keep working at the part time it could be challenging or impossible to change your mind in the future

- If I left a job by just not going in anymore, I would look back on that with regret, and feel like I hadn't done well with that decision. That is just me. If you would feel the same that should be included in your decision, regrets eat at you over time.

Looking back at that it seems all over the place, but I really don't know what you should do, except that you need to make a decision. Good luck.

I'm sure it's quite doable, since I won't be there every single day. I'm just wondering how much time for anything else I'll have. I guess it doesn't matter if I'm desperate, huh? Also, does it matter that I already submitted a resignation form? I put my two weeks there. They still have the paperwork, I'm just worried that if I do leave now they'll do something to make it so that I can't be hired again, or they'll be bad references.

And I would be extremely guilty if I were to just leave the job and not contact them anymore. I do like the people I work with, so it would suck to never go back in that store.

The first eight months I worked at the Warehouse I also worked during the very early morning shifts at Random Craft Store. More often then not I'd be up at one or two am, be at the craft place at 3 or 4 am, work until 8 or 10 am, then go home to attempt to take a half hour to hour nap, be at the Warehouse between noon-1 pm, then go home at 9 or 10 AT NIGHT before starting all over the next day. Some nights I'd get, at most, two hours of sleep AT THE MOST, work five to seven hours at one job, try to take a short nap, then go to the NEXT JOB for seven to nine hours before coming home again and doing it all over again.

After Christmas of that year I told the roommate I had enough of this bullshit because I was barely getting enough sleep, I didn't count the only day off I had during the week as a day off, and I really just wanted to get away from the craft place as soon as I felt comfortable that I wasn't going to be put out from the Warehouse. I felt the same way you did with Random Craft Store: I've spent too many years at this place and didn't want to leave because I felt like I'd be leaving them all in the lurch. So I did what I thought was best: two days a week at the most, no going over it, no scheduling me to do any other days, and if I have to leave before my scheduled time, it's best not to get in my way. Because I have to go to my other job.

As of right now I feel comfortable with me having more hours at the Warehouse and going in only ONE DAY a week at Random Craft Store. Because I know I am in a position where I am comfortable that I won't be put out of it, because even though there's still a lot of BS going around I still feel as though I'm valued. That I don't have to go chasing management around to get me to do any yearly evaluations, or whatever.

Any advice I have is that you should do what you THINK is the most reasonable and most comfortable thing to do. Because even if you've been at one place for a long time, most of the time that doesn't mean shit to anyone.

I'm thinking really hard about what I should do. How did you get through the day with little to no sleep?