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Guys, OH MY GAD.

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  • Guys, OH MY GAD.

    Long time, no see. This gas station I'm at is pretty slow, very easy, more issues with coworkers than customers. There are a few diamonds in the rough though.

    Okay. Background: We are not allowed to sell cigarettes or alcohol without a license or ID that will SCAN INTO THE REGISTER. This means that anything that does not scan cannot be taken. This means passports and military IDs or any state ID that will not scan through (so if you're from Ohio, you're fucked, it doesn't work in the system, tough luck.) Why this is: We failed so many stings that they shut down our alcohol sales for two weeks and corporate deemed us a "problem store." Since all this happened before I started working there (except the alcohol ban, due to bureaucracy, that was during my time) we are not to blame but we're still under the hawk eye of corporate.

    SC: I can get into another country but I can't get fucking BEER. THIS IS RIDICULOUS.

    SC: This is a military I.D. I'm OBVIOUSLY 18.

    SC: Can this other guy buy it for me?

    SC: I'll just send in my friend! (Yeah, haha, you can guess how that evil plan worked.)

    SC: Are you gonna be a cunt and ask for my I.D.?

    SC: This is stupid, you're stupid.

    SC: I guess I'll just have to talk to your manager about your I.D.ing practices.

    --------

    SC: Tell corporate to stop doing this.
    Me: My DM is here if you want to yell at her. She's kinda scary though, so if you think you can handle it, by all means.
    SC: No, you yell at her.
    Me: Listen, if you think I'm gonna yell at a woman who can fire me, you've got a reality check coming.

    --------

    SC: I need 567 50/50.
    Me: Night or Day?
    SC: Is it night time?
    Me: ...night or day?
    SC: I said, IS IT NIGHT TIME?
    Me: You can either tell me whether this is day or night or you can go somewhere else to get your tickets because I am not paid enough to stand through this.
    SC: ........day.

    ---------

    CW: I'm sorry, your card says it was not approved.
    SC: That's impossible, I just deposited 7000 dollars! LOOK AT MY BANK STATEMENT.
    CW: ...I'm sorry but...I can't just make it go through, that's something you'll have to talk about with your bank.
    SC: BUT THERE'S MONEY ON THE CARD. SEE?!?!
    CW: ...okay, I see that, but the card has to go through the system in order to work.

    ----------

    SC: Your pump is broken.
    Me: Okay, lemme go check it out with you.
    SC: (snotty) Do you get this a lot?
    Me: Get what a lot?
    SC: Pumps being broken?
    Me: No. Not a lot at all actually. Usually it's just that a customer pressed something wrong.
    SC: Well I didn't press anything wrong.

    Anyone want to guess what went wrong? LOL.

    -----------

    SC: You shorted me six dollars yesterday.
    Me: I wasn't here yesterday.
    SC:

    -----------

    BG: Our one door ringer is broken so sometimes there are ninja customers that seem to come out of nowhere that you didn't know were in the store.

    SC: CAN I GET SOME SERVICE? IS ANYONE WORKING?!
    Me: *flies out of the back room where I was putting stuff away* I'm sorry, I didn't hear you come in, our door bell seems to be broken.
    SC: WELL YOU SHOULD BE PAYING MORE ATTENTION. WHERE ARE ALL THE OTHER WORKERS!?
    Me: ...what other workers?
    SC: You know what I mean!
    Me: ...we have single coverage here. If you'd like there to be more workers present, feel free to make your request to corporate.

    -----------

    SC: Why don't you have any coffee?
    Me: ...um...it's...right here. *points at a coffee pot DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF CUSTOMERS'S FACE*
    SC: ...oh.

  • #2
    Quoth Gaki View Post
    SC: No, you yell at her.
    Me: Listen, if you think I'm gonna yell at a woman who can fire me, you've got a reality check coming.
    And what exactly does he think you yelling at her would achieve over HIM (presuming it's a dude) yelling at her? At least he recognised it was a corporate thing, not a "store" thing.


    SC: I need 567 50/50.
    Me: Night or Day?
    SC: Is it night time?
    Huh?!

    SC: That's impossible, I just deposited 7000 dollars! LOOK AT MY BANK STATEMENT.
    A deposit that large would likely take time to clear through the system. If she did it via an ATM (some ATMs over here have that function), then she'd be even MORE screwed as it takes a good 2-3 days to get through. As it stands, any transfer I do I give myself about 5 minutes before I actually use the card.


    SC: You shorted me six dollars yesterday.
    Me: I wasn't here yesterday.
    SC:
    Someone's scam didn't work?

    -----------

    BG: Our one door ringer is broken so sometimes there are ninja customers that seem to come out of nowhere that you didn't know were in the store.
    Like a Christmas tree ninja?

    Last edited by EricKei; 03-17-2015, 07:55 PM. Reason: trimmed quotes a lil' bit
    The best professors are mad scientists! -Zoom

    Now queen of USSR-Land...

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    • #3
      SC: Are you gonna be a cunt and ask for my I.D.?
      Well I was going to ask for ID but now I'm refusing service and banning you as I won't put up with being talked to that way.

      Fireheart
      Huh?!
      I'm guessing a lottery that has 2 drawings a day.

      Comment


      • #4
        Lottery...that I so don't miss...at all. Any of it. Ugh

        Comment


        • #5
          SC: Tell corporate to stop doing this.


          Yeah, that'll work....

          I love your stories!
          When you start at zero, everything's progress.

          Comment


          • #6
            Quoth Gaki View Post
            SC: Are you gonna be a cunt and ask for my I.D.?
            Are you going to be an asshole and make a fuss or a normal custy and show a valid ID?
            Quoth Gaki View Post
            SC: Why don't you have any coffee?
            Me: ...um...it's...right here. *points at a coffee pot DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF CUSTOMERS'S FACE*
            SC: ...oh.
            Definitely needed some caffeine Tell me you weren't pointing to the decaf
            I'm trying to see things from your point of view, but I can't get my head that far up my keister!

            Who is John Galt?
            -Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged

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            • #7
              Quoth Gaki View Post
              SC: Can this other guy buy it for me?

              SC: I'll just send in my friend! (Yeah, haha, you can guess how that evil plan worked.)
              To both: "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, No."
              SC: Are you gonna be a cunt and ask for my I.D.?
              "Are you gonna be a bitch and keep wasting my time? You know damn well how this works! ID or GTFO!"
              SC: This is stupid, you're stupid.
              And the prize for "Most original insult from a 13-year-old" goes to...
              SC: I guess I'll just have to talk to your manager about your I.D.ing practices.
              "Yes! Please do! I just need a couple more customer commendations to fill up my bedroom wall! Thanks! "
              Me: Listen, if you think I'm gonna yell at a woman who can fire me, you've got a reality check coming.
              Well said ^_^
              "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
              "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
              "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
              "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
              "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
              "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
              Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
              "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

              Comment


              • #8
                Add a few idiots who can't understand why the car wash is closed when it's 5 degrees out, or the ones who argue that because it's a gas station that I will magically have change for $100 at 2 AM, and you have my average nights work. Can't wait to retire.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Who's military does he work for? Lord Freeza's?

                  "This is stupid. You're stupid. Stop being stupid!" — Freeza

                  "Or maybe I'm just being rhetorical?" — Goku, Dragon Ball Z Abridged
                  "IT stands away, interrupting himself from the incessant hammering of the kittens…"

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                  • #10
                    Quoth judecat View Post
                    Add a few idiots who can't understand why the car wash is closed when it's 5 degrees out,
                    I assume you mean 5 degrees Fahrenheit, which is well below freezing. Isn't that SOP? I was excited a week ago when the car wash finally opened for the first time in months. Even if they could keep the lines from freezing, if you wash your car when it is real cold out the water freezes before it can dry and you can't open your doors without chipping through the inch of ice first. How would that even help the car?
                    Pain and suffering are inevitable...misery is optional.

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                    • #11
                      Nothing, absolutely nothing, typifies the SC mindset better than "That's stupid... YOU'RE STUPID!!!"

                      Every single SC argument, when stripped of it's bells and whistles, becomes THAT.
                      - They say nothing good happens at 2AM, they're right, I happen at 2AM.

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