If my body were a car....

[smalltownclerk]

If my body were a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a
newer model.

I've got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish and my paint job is getting a little
dull ... but that's not the worst of it.

My headlights are out of focus and it's especially hard to see things up close.

My traction is not as graceful as it once was. I slip and slide and skid and bump into
things even in the best of weather.

My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins.
It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed. My fuel rate burns inefficiently.
But here's the worst of it...


Almost every time I sneeze, cough or sputter.....
Either my radiator leaks or my exhaust backfires..

[Bright_Star]

You better take it in for a tune up. Pep Boys does wonders with that "rear end alignment"...lol.

[Gawdzillers]

I once read a thread about comparing your genitals to cars. Here's the memorable ones:

My penis is like a Pontiac Grand Prix. Wider is better.

My penis is like a Model T. It takes some hand action to start it up, and once it gets going, you hop on!