Busted

[Cookie]

I just learned today that a vocally homophobic co-worker was caught using the restaurant phone to call "man to man" hotlines. That is all.

[dalesys]

Wouldn't "dicked" be more apropros than "busted"?

[Cookie]

Well, I was going to be nice and not talk about his man-boobs.

[HYHYBT]

I just learned today that a vocally homophobic co-worker was caught using the restaurant phone to call "man to man" hotlines. That is all.

I've never quite understood how that happens.

[Cookie]

All I can figure is that, for some, they might be afraid to come out and try to remove all suspicion by being vocally against it?

I have to say, though, it was hysterical when somebody from one of those lines called him back and the boss answered the phone to hear, "Hey, cowboy!"

[Andara Bledin]

I've never quite understood how that happens.

The "vocally homophobic person is really homosexual" or the "person caught calling sex chat" bit?

Actually, it's really, really common for people who are something that their peers won't find acceptable to be overly critical of anyone else who is that something as either a form of denial or a form of cover-up.

^-.-^

[Plaidman]

Yeah. I mean, look at the dad from American Beauty. (The Soldier). Pretty much against gays. Until he thought he saw his son doing stuff with neighbor. Then went to neighbor to try to come out.

Pretty touching really. If he did come out, he and his son could have finally bonded.

On the otherside of the fence, one of my fave uncles was pretty vocal about homosexuals. Until a decent chunk of the family came out. My sister and Cousin, (Uncle's Daughter) came out. Then he kept quiet, and even smacked some of the cousins around at family get togethers when they went off on gays. (It was a secret to who in our family was gay, they didn't tell us kids. I remember one time, during ..measure..9?? I forget what it was. Something to do with homosexuallity. I was like... 8 maybe? My sister was against it. Vote No. I tried to say that in school but got smacked, and started be called a faggot. So natuarrly, to avoid being smacked at school, I was saying yes. My sister started to cry over that. Mom told me somone I loved might be gay. I remember saying alot of stuff from what I heard from kids. I learned then my sister was gay.

On the other side, my cousin who came out, lost her sister and mother. Her own mom divorced her husband when he took his daughter side. Her sister is still very anti-homosexual and refuses to talk to her, though she'll still talk to everyone else in the family. She tried to invite me to a church meeting during her wedding a few years ago. I just remember how much she hated her sister and my sister. I politely said no. I don't talk to her much.

[Argabarga]

All I can figure is that, for some, they might be afraid to come out and try to remove all suspicion by being vocally against it?

A lot of people do this for a lot of things, I'm personaly amused at how many times the cops impound a car for being used to transport/sell drugs that has a D.A.R.E. (U.S. anti-drug schooling program) bumpersticker or license plate.

[Marmalady]

Oh yes indeed.
I remember a boy in my year at school who would torment various people, myself and my best friend included, not just with 'gay' jibes (I'm straight, by the way) but generally bullying behaviour.
Later on, my best friend went to catering college - as did this boy... After about 12 months there she called me one day and said 'Guess what? Kevin has just come out as gay'. After the initial surprise I said to her, 'Well that explains a lot doesn't it? He was just trying to make sure that nobody looked too closely at him.'
That business with your cousin is so very sad. One of my best friends for the past 20 years is gay and she has told me about some of her family who won't speak to her. It's nobody's loss but theirs as far as I'm concerned.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

I just learned today that a vocally homophobic co-worker was caught using the restaurant phone to call "man to man" hotlines. That is all.

Aww gee, ain't that a dick in the mouth.

[Plaidman]

Aww gee, ain't that a dick in the mouth.

Not to mention a pain in the ass.

[HYHYBT]

The "vocally homophobic person is really homosexual" or the "person caught calling sex chat" bit?

Actually, it's really, really common for people who are something that their peers won't find acceptable to be overly critical of anyone else who is that something as either a form of denial or a form of cover-up.

^-.-^

The former, and while I *know* it's very common, I still don't understand it.

[infinitemonkies]

You know what they say:

"The squeaky wheel wants to get greased up and squeal"





Seems to me if he was calling from a work phone he had to know someone would find out. My guess is that subconsciously he wanted to get caught and outed.

[Andara Bledin]

A lot of people do this for a lot of things, I'm personaly amused at how many times the cops impound a car for being used to transport/sell drugs that has a D.A.R.E. (U.S. anti-drug schooling program) bumpersticker or license plate.

I had a friend in high school that I had a major crush on that was majorly active in the whole DARE after-school programs. He was a major druggie the entire time.

He was in a newspaper article after getting (mostly) cleaned up about how the who program is seen as a great big joke by the kids who actually do drugs.

^-.-^

[Seshat]

The former, and while I *know* it's very common, I still don't understand it.

In most cases, they're closeted to themselves.

They use all sorts of self-talk and lies to themselves saying 'what I'm doing isn't really homosexual' or 'I'm not gay, I have a wife and kids' or anything that works in their minds.

They can't tolerate the idea of being gay themselves, because they have this whole mental structure that says gay = utterly, horrendously bad. So they must develop some sort of lie-to-self that lets them achieve what their psyche needs, yet still keep them from seeing themselves as utterly-bad.

The conflict, however, remains in their minds. And that conflict tends to erupt as the worst sort of bigotry.

It's sad. It's not only incredibly damaging to the people around them, it's damaging them. The healthiest solution is to erase that gay=bad mental structure; but if it's too ingrained into who-they-are, then the mere concept of erasing it threatens their sense of self.