Are men allergic to words or what??

[dalesys]

"This video is not available" ...

That's weird...works for me...

Canadia ... vs. blewtoob.

(I remember a recent high school grad who was certain they'd seen that on a map)

[dalesys]

I have known (noticed? selection bias?) two women who at a young age telescoped "Not breathing == DEAD!" and "You must breathe to talk." into an internal law: "If I'm not talking I'll DIE!"

... it becomes like the sea-sounds of a seashell ...

[Blue Ginger]

It's a social thing. Stoicism is supposed to be 'manly', whatever the hell that means. Look around. All sorts of ways, men are told 'it's wimpy/girly/gay to admit you have feelings or talk about them'. Same way women are taught to be pleasant, polite, and demurring. Both bits of that are toxic, but they're so deeply rooted that I don't know if we'll ever manage to toss either of them.

This kind of thinking makes me go all GGGRRRRR and ARRRRGGGG and ever so slightly

For a big chunk of my life, starting in early primary school, I did not really interact a lot with of kids my age. I was in a normal school and a normal class, but because the bullying had started in Kindergarten, I started isolating myself from a young age and most of my interactions were spent defending myself. This has left me with unusual speech patterns and word choices. I don't use the flowery or soft language that most women or girls use. My speech patterns are closer to the blunter language that men or boys often use.

A number of years ago, a friend was studying psychology. Part of his course focused on perceptions of people based on their speech patterns and word choices. Some of my friends* had already noticed my non-flowery language, so we recorded several conversations between myself and a few people of both genders. We then typed up these conversations and had a drama group record them. We switched genders around a bit too. So some went from female/male conversations to male/male or from female/female to male/female, etc.

His class of about 40, and the tutor, failed to pick that my words were from a woman in every. single. recording. Even when a woman was reading my words, they thought the words were originally a man's. When a man was reading my words, the descriptions were 'honest', 'straight forward', 'to the point'. But when a woman read the exact same words, the descriptions were 'blunt', 'rude' and 'non-descriptive'.

This doesn't mean I use less words (although I will only use grunts and grrr's if you wake me up too early) but it does mean that I don't pretty things up. I prefer my language to be precise. That means I will use 3 words instead of 25 to describe something. And if I think you are being a fuckwit, I will say 'you are being a fuckwit' instead of taking 5 minutes to semi-politely tell you that you are being a fuckwit.

* These were new people that I met after finishing high school and escaping the relentless bullying that followed me through all my school years. I had 'friends' at school, but they were mostly other victims that would sit around at lunch with noses in books and we didn't interact outside of school hours. I joke that I didn't have a life before I met them when I was nearly 19, at a birthday party for the only person I was friends with from my primary and high school.

[Deevil]

Eh, there's also research that says women and men use roughly the same number of words per day. So I guess it depends on the study?

I think that study included "mansplaining" and the other one didn't.

[Arcus]

I'm the kind that likes to talk, but I've lost count at the number of times I've been told to get to the point. This is even from the very people that say that guys need to talk more. They want guys to talk, but they get annoyed when a guy wants to talk.

[csquared]

"
And EricKei and csquared ... if it weren't for the ban this group imposes on comments that threaten violence ...

Sometimes, short and simple is better. Eschew Obfuscation!

My father was interesting in that way. Call him up and ask how is is doing and you get one-two word answers. You are lucky to keep him on the phone for five minutes, And you will do most of the talking.

Get him in a social situation, and he will talk you ear off. Everything that you never wanted to know about any topic.

[TheSHAD0W]

"This video is not available"

Try changing the "youtube" in the URL to "youpak" or "hooktube".

[Pixelated]

Sometimes, short and simple is better. Eschew Obfuscation!

My father was interesting in that way. Call him up and ask how is is doing and you get one-two word answers. You are lucky to keep him on the phone for five minutes, And you will do most of the talking.

Get him in a social situation, and he will talk you ear off. Everything that you never wanted to know about any topic.

OMG, that is DEFINITELY my maternal grandfather. He hated the phone (I think I've inherited that ...) But face-to-face ... once, when visiting him, I decided to sit tight until HE finally decided to give up and go to bed.

1 a.m. ...

2 a.m. ...

3 a.m. ...

IIRC he finally only decided it was time to call it a night because I was visibly comatose. And this is a man who, most of his life, got up with the sun and went to bed shortly after darkness fell.

[Blue Ginger]

1 a.m. ...

2 a.m. ...

3 a.m. ...

IIRC he finally only decided it was time to call it a night because I was visibly comatose.

Oh my dog! This is my dad. He doesn't do phone convos, but get him talking in person and he can be there all night. Growing up, there would be times when he was still drinking and talking to mates at 9am the next day when us kids woke up. (Don't worry, no one drove home drunk and tired. One lived a 5 minute stumble from the house and the other would get picked up by his wife.)

I'm just glad dad has finally understood the concept of text messages. It only took 2 years of having a smart phone before he would respond with more than a few words.

[Mental_Mouse]

I hate the phone myself, mostly because I'm hard of hearing, but also because it's often an interruption. I do way better with a phone convo when I have time to find a quiet environment and time to focus.

[Greenday]

Pretty much, yea.

[Ironclad Alibi]

Word? Isn't that one of them four-letter things?

[Jay 2K Winger]

I can't speak for all men. But in my case, I subscribe to that old axiom, "Better to remain silent and be thought an idiot, than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt."

[Kit-Ginevra]

...or perhaps men speak less because they don't get the chance to get a word in edgeways

[Ironclad Alibi]

...or perhaps men speak less because they don't get the chance to get a word in edgeways

Whenever I say something Mrs. IA always accuses me of interrupting her. And then she wonders why I don't talk to her.