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The Tow Files: Last of the Summer Whine

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  • The Tow Files: Last of the Summer Whine

    Like that time you ran accidentally ran over that hornet's nest with a lawnmower, and had to vacate the property for the better part of an afternoon until everything quieted down again, the students are swarming around town this week as they get moved in and I finalize my bag and tag permits because the season opens this Monday... I'd like to clear out the dreck file of any stragglers from this summer.

    Laws of Parking vs. Laws of Physics


    Some "lady" got towed out of a permit-only parking lot.

    She came in, the usual unpleasantries were exchanged, and eventually, it was gotten though her skull that when a lot has signs that say "Permit Only" and you park there without one, well, you get towed, no matter WHY you were there in the first place.

    She demands to know what she's supposed to do if she NEEDS to park there.

    She's informed that she needs to go down to the reality office for Global Domination Reality, LLC and PURCHASE a parking permit.

    She huffs off, we thought we'd never hear from her again.

    Yeah, it's always those quiet ones, or at least the ones that start out normal, that you have to watch out for.

    So imagine our shock and awe when she returned that afternoon and slapped down a freshly-purchased parking pass on the counter..... and demands a refund.

    For what? Well, she got towed for not having a permit, and NOW she DOES so, we have to give her money back.....

    Uh... no.

    WHAT?! She gasps, we SAID you NEED a PERMIT, and THERE it is! So we have to give her money back....

    No, it doesn't work that way, PERMIT then PARK, not the other way around.

    NO! She screeches, SCREECHES I tells ya!

    Loud enough in fact, that the poor people in the corner waiting while their cars get their tires changed and oil rotated, (er, something like that anyway)... are trying to sink a bit deeper into their chairs so as not to get sucked into the rapidly forming crazy storm right in front of them.

    We tell her she needs to calm down, and if she has a permit, she can now park in that lot, as much as she pleases, but, that in no way changes the fact that when she was towed, she did not have a permit, ergo, there was no error on our part that warrants returning any cash.

    "NO! You give me my money back now! I HAVE A PERMIT! That's the law! You DON'T KNOW THE LAW!!!"

    We know the law very well, actually, assuming you're talking about the laws concerning parking and property trespass, the ones that say no permit or no visible permit means a towing. Ironically, there's a law you don't seem to understand, several actually, the laws of temporal mechanics, as in once you go forward in time, you can't go backwards, unless you're in a bad Star Trek episode.

    "No permit at time of tow means you still owe us, even if you have one now"

    Well, that was apparently the wrong thing to say, what was just a Crazy Storm has now just been upgraded to Crazy Hurricane Olga. The lady flips her borscht bowl and starts pacing around the front counter while screaming at us in Russian. At least it sounded like Russian. Granted, that's a guess on our part, but, not a bad one, based on the name that was on her drivers license when she was here the first time.

    We now tell her she has to calm down immediately or she'll be removed by the local constabulary, they won't exactly ship her off to Siberia, but the experience won't be a pleasant one. Shall we call them now? Comrade Crackpot?

    Ah, you're leaving I see... well... dosvedanya!

    And yes, her car was parked in the same lot again later that day, with that permit she bought and waved in our faces nowhere to be seen.... sadly, it was gone by the time the truck arrived, I was really hoping we could agitate her enough that she might have blown right through a linguistic barrier and started speaking Greek or something.... improbable, but it's always worth a try.


    Chinese Ping-Pong

    For our next adventure, we move east, onwards from the steppes of Russia and into the Orient.

    Seems that the heroine of this tale had a bit of a fender-bender with her car. Nothing so bad as to total it, but it did mash up the right-front bumper/fender a bit and cut down the tire on that side. If you put the spare on, you could probably still drive it around, and replacing the broken headlight would make it street legal again.

    For whatever reason, probably because she didn't do much driving, she just parked it outside her apartment and figured heck with it.

    This angered her landlord, as, the lease she signed forbids the parking of broken down or wrecked vehicles on the property.

    He has us tow it away.

    The owner finds out it's been towed, she comes in, pays for it's release, and pays additional for it to be towed back.

    Landlord sees it come back, calls us, has us tow it away, again. And tells us to communicate to the owner that until it's fixed, he's just going to keep having it towed. We duly repeat this information to the owner when she comes in to get it the second time and suggest that since she's here, maybe our bodyshop could look at it and do an estimate?

    She agrees, they look it over, do the write-up, prep the paperwork and all she in theory has to do is sign on the dotted line and it can be fixed in about a week or two depending on how booked up they are and parts availability.

    She decides to "think about it" and has us tow the car back up to her apartment, again, at more extra costs.

    By now the landlord is pretty peeved when it shows up in the lot again, still as smashed as it ever was. He never told her to get an ESTIMATE, he told her to get it FIXED or get it OFF his lot. So, he tells us, in no uncertain terms, that it is NOT to be towed back onto his property again for any reason. If it ever shows up there again, it's going to be driven in there, under it's own power, and in one piece.

    He tells us this, as we're towing it away, for the THIRD time.

    Surprisingly, she doesn't come in for it this time. It sits for a day, then a week, then two weeks.... (accruing storage the whole time)

    Finally, the manager remembers her talking to the bodyshop, and digs up her contact information from the original estimate and calls her up hoping to tell her that, like closing time at a bar, the car doesn't have to go home, but, it can't stay here.

    She doesn't answer, her roommate does.

    She's not at home.

    She went home, HOME-home, as in she was a student and isn't taking classes this semester, so she went home. To CHINA. And will be there until next semester....

    Man, when she gets back, that's going to be a very very hefty bill , enough to have paid for those repairs several times over, in fact.

    Why oh why do some people just want to do it the HARD way? And where do they get the cash reserves to continue doing it the hard way so that they needn't ever learn a lesson from it?



    Papers, Please!

    I was sic'd on a car with no permits in an apartment lot. It's been a slow summer over here, as we've only towed maybe 5 cars in the last 3 months. it's usually a hotbed, but not this year. And 3 of those are the exact same black Pontiac G5 getting towed again and again for not having a permit (because he doesn't live there) and he always, always ALWAYS without fail tries to weasel out of it by saying "nobody told me I couldn't park here!"

    Yeah, maybe not in those exact words, but the "permit only" signs.... the fact you've been towed twice, and that it was ME who towed you both previous times means I don't know if I should cry or wind my watch when you try that, since you can't remember ME but I can remember YOU. I mean, I actually said to your face "Why do you keep doing this when you know you can't?" and he had no answer.

    So, when the call came for an illegally parked "black car" in the lot, I thought I'd have him for the fourth time.

    Nope, twasn't him. It was a black Dodge Durango instead, but, I don't recognize it and a cursory walk-around reveals no permit.

    Uh oh, looks like the cursory walk-around has also smoked out the owner who comes running across the street.

    "Is there something wrong here?"

    "Yeah, I don't see a permit in this vehicle and you need one to park here"

    "Well, I was just visiting over there *points to complex across the street*"

    "Ah, well, this lot doesn't belong to that building, it's only for the apartments on this side of the street, so you'll have to move if you don't have a permit."

    "I guess It would be helpful if they had a sign over here saying that"

    "Like that one *points* and that one *points* and the one over at the entrance you drove by?"

    Oops, big mistake, BIG mistake, never point out to a moron how badly they're being a moron, they don't like that. Too late now, you can't call back bullets once fired, and you can't call back snark once snarked. The lady gets huffy, in that smarmy overly-polite way they love to get huffy in.... you know the one.

    "Can I get your NAME?!"

    Great, here comes the complaint. The tone she asked it in made it clear that it wasn't a request, it was a demand, so she can call the office and lodge some kind of formal grievance

    with me for being "rude". Sigh. I guess I could be accommodating, give out my name/radio number/whatever and the phone number of the shop and my manager and whatever else, but then it hit me:

    For what?

    I didn't touch the car, they're going to leave, that's all we wanted in the first place. No money is owed, nor changed hands, the only thing giving out any "helpful" information will facilitate is a pissy phone call and baseless complaint from someone who wasn't even a customer.... Legally, we're both free as the air right now to just drift away, so that's what I'm going to do. I said no.

    "No"

    Cue the instant largemouth bass impression from the lady, who is shocked her demand wasn't met.

    -"What do you mean no?"

    -"I mean no, I'm not going to give it to you"

    "And why NOT?"

    "Because I don't have to, there's no law that says I must give out personal information to strangers."

    That stunned her for a few seconds, she was literally totally speechless that her highness had been DEFIED by a mere PEASANT

    -"Well... You're enforcing the law! So you MUST ID yourself if asked!"

    -"No I don't, Ma'm"

    - "But, but... if you're ENFORCING the law, doesn't, that, make you some kind of officer? "

    I pull on the collar of my shirt... my HAWAIIAN shirt no less, that's in between my faded denims below and ubiquitous Pittsburgh Pirates ball cap above

    "Dressed like THIS? I don't think so" and with that I drove off.

    You know, it's not like I was keeping her from calling us, the number's on the signs, on the trucks, and in the phone book, but, why make life easier for people who've already made it clear they're going to try and ruin your day, come heck or high water?

    Paying customers - Full Service

    Bitchy non-customers - Self Serve Only
    - They say nothing good happens at 2AM, they're right, I happen at 2AM.

  • #2
    That first one - what an idiot. No, you don't get to erase your infraction by doing what you should have done in the first place, lady. And then she parks there again and doesn't display the permit she just bought?? Wow.

    The Chinese one...wonder if her parents are paying everything. Wait 'til they get that credit card bill. Can you consider the car abandoned, and either drag it to the dump or sell it off, after a certain amount of time?

    And the last one...picturing her mouth hanging open and the look of utter indignation and surprise, I just.....

    People and their stupid assumptions just never fail to amaze me
    When you start at zero, everything's progress.

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    • #3
      Self serve only . . . . I love it!
      They say that God only gives us what we can handle. Apparently, God thinks I'm a bad ass.

      Comment


      • #4
        Example for lady #1: You can't negate a speeding ticket by driving under the speed limit down the same street. You still pay the fine, you just don't get a second ticket.

        Also, that last person... Do people think that tow truck drivers have to be super nice to the owner of an illegally parked car? Because that's just silly. I've only had one experience with this (when my car broke down on I-5 in Seattle, fuel pump died with no warning. ) and he was nice. I was an actual customer, though. I wouldn't have cared too much if he was gruff, I had other concerns.
        Replace anger management with stupidity management.

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        • #5
          My hero! (swoon)

          Comment


          • #6
            Quoth Argabarga View Post
            Papers, Please!


            I didn't touch the car, they're going to leave, that's all we wanted in the first place. No money is owed, nor changed hands, the only thing giving out any "helpful" information will facilitate is a pissy phone call and baseless complaint from someone who wasn't even a customer.... Legally, we're both free as the air right now to just drift away, so that's what I'm going to do. I said no.

            "No ticket."

            Comment


            • #7
              Quoth An Haddock View Post
              "No ticket."
              "I don't know what possessed me to look at this man and say, 'Whyyyyy?' "

              Comment


              • #8
                Quoth An Haddock View Post
                "No ticket."
                That post reminded me of this scene:

                https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LEkhs6n37RI
                To right the countless wrongs of our days... We shine this light of true redemption, that this place may become as paradise...Oh, what a wonderful world such would be...

                Comment


                • #9
                  Quoth Argabarga View Post
                  Papers, Please!
                  Glory to Arstotzka!
                  PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

                  There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Quoth Jay 2K Winger View Post
                    Glory to Arstotzka!
                    The next time I get to use the big red-ink "BOOTED: MAGISTRATE RELEASE ONLY" stamp on the tow slip, I intend to say that. The opportunity just hasn't arisen yet.
                    - They say nothing good happens at 2AM, they're right, I happen at 2AM.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Glad to know I'm not the only one who thought of that.
                      My Guide to Oblivion

                      "I resent the implication that I've gone mad, Sprocket."

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        lol, I'd never heard of that game.* Looks fun! My pop culture reference is from Clueless.

                        Cher: This is a second notice for outstanding parking tickets. I don’t remember getting a first notice.
                        Cher's dad: The ticket is the first notice!

                        *A quick search tells me that it's from Papers, Please which "focuses on the work life of an immigration inspector at a border checkpoint for the fictitious country of Arstotzka."
                        Last edited by notalwaysright; 08-25-2014, 04:22 AM.
                        Replace anger management with stupidity management.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          For the third one, you should have gone and gotten a cold drink, and come back in 15 minutes. She would still be parked there, thinking she got one over on you.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Quoth Mr Hero View Post
                            That post reminded me of this scene:

                            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LEkhs6n37RI
                            Well, yeah... that's what I was going for.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Quoth An Haddock View Post
                              Well, yeah... that's what I was going for.
                              i always think of this one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J0i1dolr2SE
                              The mere fact that we have the flamethrower means that someone, somewhere once said "You know, I'd really like to set those customers over there on fire, but don't possess the means to do it"

                              Comment

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