Here's the Dear Abby Update

[myswtghst]

I have to say that from how it sounded to me, only the last one (Allen) actually agreed with her. The others seemed to generally agree that perhaps Nikki should maintain a bigger personal bubble to avoid the problem, but they also confirmed that retail employees have the right to NOT be touched.

[...]

Abby needs to get her eyes checked if she thinks everyone else agreed with her.

I totally agree. I read over the link, and was shocked at two things - 1 being the complete absence of the scores of letters I know were sent disagreeing, and 2 being the fact that most of the letters she claimed "agreed with her" did more or less the opposite. Nice to see she can twist reality to suit her needs.

And I thought your response was really good. Granted, as we've seen, it's possible she'll ignore it or misinterpret it, but oh well. I still think it's good to let her know we won't just roll over and agree with something that stupid.

[Stormraven]

Unfortunately, 'Abby' is unrepentant.

[AdminAssistant]

Not quite victory, but at least some replies were published.

[PepperElf]

Hate to break it to you, but the vast majority of Dear Abby readers are likely themselves, SCs.

... i'm an sc now? ... i read it cos it's next to the daily comics. (no worries tho, just teasin ya)

[Aethian]

Yea one reply from us and a bunch who agreed with Abby. She just posted the one disagreement letter to then show that others agreed fully with her point of few. The worthless witch was bombarded with Shame on you letters and insted of admitting fault like her Mother would (whom would have never needed to because she isn't as rude) she insted kept to the 'customer is right' mantra.

So shame on her....shame on her editor...shame on who ever keeps her employed.

[Becks]

I'm disappointed, but not really surprised.

[rerant]

How pathetic. She didn't even give a response of her own, just shoved other people's responses in the writer's face.
Dear Abby has a four year-old's approach to disagreement. "No! I'm right! Seeeee other people agree with meeeee!"

What a tool. I'm considering writing to her myself.

[Apathy]

So shame on her....shame on her editor...shame on who ever keeps her employed.

/agree

I'm so enraged! Oh well, at least one of our letters got on there. I guess I don't know what I expected in EW-land.

Oh, and that line about "You are entitled to disagree. However, I... bla bla bla, other readers agreed with me. Read on." Oh man, can you feel the condescension dripping off it? *Fumes* Those are probably the only three positive responses she got.

[Becks]

Would it be sucky if we all emailed her AGAIN* telling her what she said wrong?


*And again, and again, etc., if necessary?

[Apathy]

Would it be sucky if we all emailed her AGAIN* telling her what she said wrong?

*And again, and again, etc., if necessary?

You all know what I say about being sucky, right? If the other person does it first, then pretty much anything you do, within some amount of reason, all good and justified.

Besides, who knows more about being sucky customers than us?

[rerant]

All of this reminds me of the last time I was touched by a customer.
Ok, well not the last time, since that was from a man who gave me a gentle tap while I was on the phone with another department trying to get a price for something he had to tell me not to worry about it. That sort of touch, so long as it is intended with the utmost politeness, is ok by me.
The touch I am referring to is something I know I posted about before, so I searched for the thread to repost it, since it is very much relevant to this thread.

The thread was aptly titled, "Don't Touch Me!: The Sequel."
Here is the post:

It all started over the most common argument: paying for bags.

Aaaaanyway, this woman felt the best way to respond when I told her she would have to pay 5cents per plastic bag would be to grab my hand an smack me with her wallet while saying, "Shame on you, Ikea!"
I pulled my hand away and didn't give her a death stare, but rather a look that said, "Don't you EVER fucking touch me again!"
She walked away saying, "Geeze, it was just a JOKE, get over it!"

I really don't care if you were joking. You don't grab a stranger and whack them with your wallet.
Now if she was a sweet little 90 year-old woman I would have seen it differently, but she wasn't.
She was a snotty bitch and yeah I get it, no violence towards customers, but if she had done this to me outside of work I probably would have shoved her pretty hard and had a few choice words for her.

The whole thing pissed me off most because of her attitude throughout the whole transaction.
She went from being nice but slightly annoying, to horrible in about 10 seconds.

I got the feeling from her that she was the sort to complain.
If she does she'll get nowhere as soon as I tell my manager that she grabbed me and hit me with her wallet.
In fact, I was praying that she WOULD complain just so I could watch my manager shut her down in front of everyone.

Better luck next time, I guess.

In this situation the customer crossed a serious line, and responded to my reaction rudely, stating, "it was only a joke."
Well, Dear Abby, I'm not laughing.

[Misty]

Did anyone see yesterday's column?


DEAR ABBY: My fiance, "Keith," and I are being married at the end of June. We met at a fraternity party last fall and knew right away we were meant for each other. We're both in college in Hawaii. We don't live together -- and that has been lucky for me because Keith doesn't realize how inexperienced I am in the kitchen.

He comes from the mainland. He is used to home-cooked meals and has often talked about family dinners and how good his mom is at entertaining. The only thing my mom is good at is making reservations. At our house if we didn't eat out, we ate takeout.

I know Keith will expect me to cook after our wedding -- at least sometimes. I have gone to the bookstore at the mall, but all the fancy cookbooks with elaborate recipes overwhelm me. All I want to do is learn to make a few simple dishes. Can you help me out here? -- COOKING IMPAIRED IN HONOLULU

DEAR COOKING IMPAIRED: I'll try. Where is it written that after your wedding, YOU must do all the cooking? These days many couples share that responsibility by taking turns or cooking together. If you raise the subject with your fiance, you may find that Keith not only enjoyed family dinners, but also spent time with his mother in the kitchen while she prepared them.

If that turns out not to be the case, then you and Keith should consider taking a basic cooking course together before -- or shortly after -- the wedding, so you don't starve to death.

Many brides-to-be are given "recipe showers" in which friends and relatives share favorite, easy-to-prepare family favorites to ease them on the path to domesticity. I'm sure if you asked your future mother-in-law, she would be pleased to contribute some of hers.

I publish a collection of more than 100 delicious recipes for soups, salads, main course and desserts. Not only are they time-tested and mouthwatering, they are also easy to prepare. They can be ordered by sending a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $12 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. Shipping and handling are included in the price.

Summer is nearly here, and with it comes the promise of family reunions and visits. My cookbooklet set contains tips on entertaining, and lots of recipes to use when families get together to celebrate holidays and special occasions. Both my mother and I have used them with great success when entertaining friends and family.


The part that gets me is how she shamelessly plugs her cookbook (she actually does this every chance she gets- apparently she's written a lot of different books).

Another Dear Abby column I read a few weeks ago that had me shaking my head in disbelief. I managed to dig it up:


DEAR ABBY: I am well aware of the risks of smoking. However, I have chosen to take the risk and continue the habit. When I smoke, I do it only outside, away from others so I won't infringe on anyone else's health.

When people decide they need to lecture me on why I should quit, how should I politely respond that I don't need their advice? I will decide on my own when I am ready to quit and make the effort. I understand they are trying to help my overall health, but it's really none of their business. -- NOT READY TO KICK THE BUTTS IN KENOSHA

DEAR NOT READY: You're right -- it is none of their business. However, it takes genuine affection and concern to confront an addict about the risk of his or her addiction, so give them some credit for reaching out.

I find it sad that you're so hooked that you continue puffing away in spite of the knowledge that it may one day kill or disfigure you. But that said, when you are approached about it, simply repeat the first two sentences of your letter to me. That will get your message across. And when you do, please try not to breathe on them because it could be hazardous to their health.


The last line is what really blows me away. This has got to be the most pompous, condescending "advice" I have ever read. I really hope this "Dear Abby" doesn't have a daughter, otherwise we might be subjected to horse manure like this for another 50 years!

[Saydrah]

Hey, cool! That's my letter!

Shame on her for failing to apologize as her mother certainly would have done. The "New Abby" thinks she is infallible, where as the older Abby recognized that her own wisdom, while remarkable, didn't compare to the collective insight of a vast reader base.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

As disgusting as it probably is, I have a sudden urge to barge into Dear Abby's office and grope her like a teenaged horndog in need.

Hey, if we have no right to avoid unwanted touching from customers, then what right does she have to avoid unwanted touching from anybody else?

[Pagan]

Would it be sucky if we all emailed her AGAIN* telling her what she said wrong?


*And again, and again, etc., if necessary?

Oh, I think we should! As a matter of fact, I think I will!

And I did!

"Re: Your 15 May response to "Beth in Hayward, CA".

Well, Abby I disagree with you as well and I know that you have received many other letters that disagree with your original answer to "Nicki". From your response to "Beth", you have made it abundantly clear to all of your readers that you have never worked in retail. You also seem to think that we retail workers are something less than human beings and, as such, not worthy of common respect and decency. Telling "Nicki" to find a position in her store where she doesn't have as much customer contact? Would you please illuminate us as to where you think this magical place is? Anyone that has ever worked in a store of any sort knows that this position does not exist.
The two responses that agree with you are very telling in that they are both from men. "Allen in Grand Island in Neb." is particularly off-target. "Allen", I agree that friendliness is necessary. However, being friendly does not require touching! Yes, business people (careful, your sexist streak is showing) do shake hands, but it is mutual. Not to mention, this is a function of etiquette. A random customer coming up a touching you is not.
In short Abby, you not only failed in your initial response to "Nicki" but have failed as a compassionate person in general."