small rant....and slight sadness...

[Sarlon]

around this time of year, I hear stories of people saying about their grandparents and either ranting about them or saying things that I feel like they are taking advantage of them, just by simple words...

back in 2000 when I was 17 I spent one last christmas with my grandmother, she died of cancer that january.

people my age and older complain and rant about their grandparents, and all I want to say is "shut up!!! you're lucky you still have them around!"

That is all sorry.

[BookstoreEscapee]

My grandparents are long gone (dad's father when I was 12, mother about 11 years ago, never knew my mom's parents). I'm sure I didn't appreciate my grandmother as much as I should have when she was still here. Though I didn't complain about her, except for occasionally when she lived with us and the normal sorts of things that get on your nerves when you live with people..

My aunt died in March; Christmas is traditionally at their house. Apparently my uncle still wants to do it. It'll be weird.

[BlaqueKatt]

people my age and older complain and rant about their grandparents, and all I want to say is "shut up!!! you're lucky you still have them around!"

You feel bad because you had good grandparents, remember not everyone has the same life experiences as you-my grandparents were racist, abusive(both physically and emotionally), and not at all nice people.

I get furious when people say I'm lucky I still have my mother, no I'm not lucky. She's a drunk that abandoned me at age 16(and did NO kind of parenting before that), and allowed my stepfather to abuse me, so he wouldn't abuse her because "I was young, and healed quicker"(she wouldn't leave him because she'd have to quit drinking and *gasp* get a job) and when I begged to be put in a foster home she told me "you're 14, you only have 4 more years to deal with it then you can move out"

[Bright_Star]

My paternal grandmother will be 93 in December!

[Gizmo]

*hugs*

I can relate as I've had it from a kid with my Dad. And this year with my step-dad as well. I never was close to my grandparents due to various family matters so it doesn't bother me as much about them.

However I do have those members of my family that drive me mad and I don't think its fair to tell everyone to 'shut up' in case they hurt anyone else. It also doesn't mean they don't love/appreciate them in other ways when they rant.

[Sarlon]

I'm sorry if it came across that I was saying all grandparents are perfect and people don't fully appericate them, I'm talking more along the lines of someone saying "oh my granny is driving me nuts this year, shes doing (something inane that normally is ignored)."

[Seshat]

I understand both sides.

I had three bad grandparents, and one wonderful one. Two were outright abusive, one was neglectful & emotionally abusive. The fourth grandparent was aces.

My parents sheltered us from the abusive grandparents, kept contact with the neglectful/emotionally abusive one limited, and we spent a great deal of time with Nan. (Maternal grandmother.)

All four are dead now. I feel a mild regret at not having known two of them, and having known little about the maternal grandfather.
And every day, I grieve a little that the world is poorer for Nan being gone: though when she went, it was her time. Her body was all worn out, and she had the joy of great-grandchildren. At the end, she could neither see nor hear them clearly, but you could see her face when one of them was on her bed chatting to her (she was bedridden): sheer delight.

Sorry. Babbling.

Anyway, I was trying to say: those whose grandparents (or parents) aren't worth the effort it would take to spit on, you have my understanding. Those who have grandparents or parents to cherish, cherish them. Those whose family are sort of intermediate - well, if I had the answer there, I'd know what to do about my surviving blood-family. :wry:

[PepperElf]

people my age and older complain and rant about their grandparents, and all I want to say is "shut up!!! you're lucky you still have them around!"

Whenever I grumbled about visiting my grandmother (Dad's mom I think, cos I can't imagine grumbling about seeing Mom's mother). mom would point out that it might be the last time we see her or something like that.

although, by the time she really did pass away i'd grown up a bit and had stopped grumbling etc.

[CrazedClerkthe2nd]

I lost my paternal grandfather when I was 13. He and my paternal grandmother were long divorced and there's a never healed rift between him and my father. I never knew the man well at all (my grandfather) but I wish I had. He's something of a missing link in my family history.

My paternal grandmother died when I was 17. She doted on my brother and I and was a wonderful lady. I didn't get to ask her all the questions I wanted to but I did get to know her and I am thankful for that.

My maternal grandfather passed just over a year ago from cancer. He would have been 90 this year. He was an incredible man. Not only did I get 30 years on this earth with him I also lived him with him for 4 years while I attended college and got to know he and my grandmother even better. My grandfather instilled so much in me, but two things in particular stand out to me about him:

1. We never once got in a fight or argument about anything. Some heated discussions sure, but nothing past that. I honestly don't ever remember getting angry at him for anything.

2. The last words he ever said to me when I saw him in the hospital about 6 months before he died (I live over 1000 miles away so it's not easy to get home) were: "Get to it."

He was saying he wanted me to live to my full potential and recognize that life is short, you have to make the most of it or you'll never get the chance.

My maternal grandmother is still alive. She is 85 but in reasonably good health. She and Gramps were married 62 years and she's certainly been different since he passed. I treasure every additional day I get with her.

The one thing I would love to have happen is for my grandmother to see a great grandchild before she dies.

[telecom_goddess]

I never knew any of my grandparents. My mother's parents died long before I was born and I never even met my dad let alone his parents.

[Fudgethatkay]

My paternal grandfather died before I was born. (Right before I was conceived, apparently)
I carry his last name with pride, but because HIS parents died when he was two, and his only brother died when he was 16, there are a LOT of mystery's about my family from his side.

Maternal grandmother died when my mother was 6. (Aneurysm)
Maternal Grandfather died when I was six. I remember he was very kind to me, and would save his apples just for me whenever I saw him.


Paternal grandmother is still alive, but barely. She'll be 81, but is in bad shape. Just got put into a home, and is still trying to escape, even though she knows she will fall and break something in her attempt.

I wish I saw her more, but the buses don't go out there, and when I'm free my only rides are busy lately. Its sad, cause she still remembers a lot, and I'm her namesake (middle name wise)

Since I am the severe baby, it always saddens me to know my dad's other kids got to see "Grandpa Skip" and I didn't. (They got to see Great Grandma Johnson too...She died a week before I was born. Dad says I act like her sometimes)

[FormerCallingCardRep]

I guess I was very lucky. I grew up knowing all four of my Grand Parents, three of my Great Grandparents and two step Great Grand Parents.