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You know, we go through this EVERY holiday season. I've told you time and time again that you are NOT allowed to go on vacation this time of year. Blackout dates exist for a reason!!
I do not relish spending time coughing up lungbits, going through a box of kleenex a day, having trouble breathing OR having my ears tag-team on the clog/unclog game which REALLY throws me off balance (literally AND figuratively!). And don't even get me started on those years you let me contract bronchitis, pneumonia, and the flu, respectively. You're in hot water here, bub, and this needs to be addressed.
I'm currently sitting here wishing I was able to just expel all the mucous in my system and be done with it, while simultaneously taking a drill to my inner ears to clear up the cloggy mess they've become. All because you're not doing your job or pulling your weight. Your performance has been lackluster as of late, and I'm going to have to INSIST that you start doing the duties required of you!
Further, I cannot stand taking neon blue cold medicine that looks like I'm taking shots of Dr. Manhattan, and cherry yuck NyQuil regularly. My brain is now fluorescent colored because of you, and I'm pretty sure I've now got blood in my cold medicine stream.
I propose this. You have 48 hours to start behaving, or else. No, I have no dire consequences that I'm willing to share. Just "or else" because if I have to spend more time and money on cold meds and being sick, NOT ONE part of me is going to be happy.
Brain, heart, lungs, nose, sinuses, eyes and throat have already sworn they will hunt you down for vengeance. I'd think carefully about your next step, they're like, the dons of the Human Body Mafia. The ball is in your court, Immune System (Can I call you Moony??). Game on, dude.
XOXO (In a completely sarcastic manner!)
Lupo
*this letter brought to you by a supremely medicated Lupo who has a low tolerance for most things on a good day (i.e. alcohol, cold meds, etc) Today at work is gonna be FUN!
I do not relish spending time coughing up lungbits, going through a box of kleenex a day, having trouble breathing OR having my ears tag-team on the clog/unclog game which REALLY throws me off balance (literally AND figuratively!). And don't even get me started on those years you let me contract bronchitis, pneumonia, and the flu, respectively. You're in hot water here, bub, and this needs to be addressed.
I'm currently sitting here wishing I was able to just expel all the mucous in my system and be done with it, while simultaneously taking a drill to my inner ears to clear up the cloggy mess they've become. All because you're not doing your job or pulling your weight. Your performance has been lackluster as of late, and I'm going to have to INSIST that you start doing the duties required of you!
Further, I cannot stand taking neon blue cold medicine that looks like I'm taking shots of Dr. Manhattan, and cherry yuck NyQuil regularly. My brain is now fluorescent colored because of you, and I'm pretty sure I've now got blood in my cold medicine stream.
I propose this. You have 48 hours to start behaving, or else. No, I have no dire consequences that I'm willing to share. Just "or else" because if I have to spend more time and money on cold meds and being sick, NOT ONE part of me is going to be happy.
Brain, heart, lungs, nose, sinuses, eyes and throat have already sworn they will hunt you down for vengeance. I'd think carefully about your next step, they're like, the dons of the Human Body Mafia. The ball is in your court, Immune System (Can I call you Moony??). Game on, dude.
XOXO (In a completely sarcastic manner!)
Lupo
*this letter brought to you by a supremely medicated Lupo who has a low tolerance for most things on a good day (i.e. alcohol, cold meds, etc) Today at work is gonna be FUN!
I think I'm gonna get a lump on my forehead.
At least it's not a llama/octopus hybrid?
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