How to deal with my grandmother?

[Aislin]

If I don't take my little oval pill and work out for an hour a day I get restless, cranky and depressed. Everyone in my family has depression. We are all children of addicts and all were abused as children. My dad and sister are bipolar, my mom suffers from depression and my dads theripist fired him for lying by omission about several things. Take it one day at a time. Allow yourself to have set backs. I hope your grandmother gets off your back but don't count on it. Celebrate the little victories including just asking for help. I remember how hard it was to ask for help at all. I went to my doctor and told her I felt like I was unraveling and that I was panicking everyday and I was losing control. My depression and anxiety are related to my anemia and celiacs as well as my crazy childhood. I hope you can find your coping mechanism. Just keep swimming. We need you!

[Crai]

I doubt you meant this to be ambiguous, but it can be interpreted as if the chemical route was somehow 'less' - less emotional strength, less whatever - than the therapy.
I suspect you didn't mean that interpretation!

By Chemical route I meant self prescribed. Therapy I know prescribes and Docs prescribe and I do not view them in the same manner.

I have known many people that used fire water and street corner pharmaceuticals to deal with their issues... it never ends well for them no matter what we say.

Me I just beat my head against the wall smile and use inappropriate sarcasm. Or as one higher up once said :

"Your brand of sarcasm is not appreciated". So I told him "id use smaller words!"

He was not thrilled 5 min later when he got it.

[Aragarthiel]

Self-medicating in any way (even smoking) has always been something I've avoided. I saw what happened to my parents and use them as an example of how not to act. My dad has permanent brain damage from a combination of drug use and a drunk driving accident (he was the only one hurt and never did it again), and has major health issues now as a result. My mom has cleaned up a lot, went to college, got a good job, even quit smoking, but it doesn't undo the fact that she had me (her oldest) at 17 and I watched how she struggled to support us after her divorce. So while I understand and respect others smoking/occasionally drinking, it's not something I'd ever want to try.

I appreciate the support, everyone. It's always been something I've lacked, and it's nice to (at the very least) have someone to listen. Even now, the people who have supported me seem to think that I don't need medication. I saw my therapist Monday and he said that I do seem to have come a long way on my own, the medication's just to help with the things that I can't work through- the cyclical thoughts that come with anxiety, the lies my depression tells me, things like that. The therapy's there to manage what comes afterward- my anxiety with handling money, driving, and making phone calls, or the stress that comes with being overwhelmed at home and that usually triggers my depression. It seems to be working for me so far, and is much better than any therapy or counseling I ever went to- most of my past counselors/therapists blamed all of my problems on myself.

[greek_jester]

My usual analogy - and it seems to work - is that some diabetics MUST have insulin, because their pancreas just doesn't make enough. They can lifestyle change all they like, but they'll die without the supplemental insulin. It's neither good nor bad, it's just the way it is.
Other diabetics can benefit from insulin for a while, while their body adapts to the lifestyle changes, and they get into the habit of living the way diabetics need to. Then they can drop the supplemental insulin; or maybe just keep some around for emergencies.
And yet other diabetics never need insulin at all.

I may borrow this the next time I need to explain to someone that no, taking anti-depressants does not mean you're necessarily covering up the problem. Sometimes it is the only thing keeping you alive and functioning as a human being.

[Aragarthiel]

I need some opinions.

I'm currently taking four online classes. In one of them, we're using a simulator that I'm not very familiar with yet (it's only our second week of the semester), and I realized today that my assignment for this week is at least seven times larger than the assignment for last week. For example, last week I had assignments 1.1.1 - 1.1.8 and 1.2.1 - 1.2.14, but this week it goes all the way up past 2.14 (I stopped counting after that). Not only that, but in another class, the schedule we were given was organized strangely and I realized that what was supposed to be a basic review turned into eight short stories/essays to read as well as a discussion forum to monitor/post in and a quiz. I already have my other two classes finished for the week but I'm expecting both of those to get harder, and the pressure's really screwing with my anxiety. It doesn't help at all that to finish all of my work on time, I'm going to require large doses of caffeine, and caffeine makes me anxious as well. Plus, I have to juggle all of this with a toddler and cleaning.

TL;DR, I'm looking at a week of anxiety hell.

At my last appointment, I told my therapist that I'd be starting classes again soon and it might put some stress on me. He told me that if I needed to see him, I could just call and he'd fit me in before my next scheduled appointment. I'm considering taking him up on that offer, but I have two reservations- one, I could be using that time for classwork (it's about an hour to get ready, half an hour to drop Little Ara off to be babysat and to get to the appointment, an hour appointment, and half an hour back, so that's three hours I could have spent on classwork), and two, I don't think there's much he could do anyway. He already has me journaling my episodes of anxiety and has suggested some coping mechanisms, and we're still waiting to see if my meds will work.

So, do I try to get an appointment or not?